Living Past Seclusion PART2
by SinortiaDanzer
Summary: After defeating the island can Kate and Jack let it go or will something bring them back to their existance on the island? Will they be able to let of their mistakes, lies, and secrets of their past so they can survive?sequeal to :SURVING THE UNKNOWN:
1. Lost

**Living Past Seclusion PART 2**

**Rated: **T

**Summary:** After defeating the island can Jack and Kate defeat their pasts, make things work, and live their lives? (Jate/some C&C) Romance/Drama/some Angst

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this besides the idead for this story and it's prequeal and squeal. Everything associated with the show belongs to the brillant minds of the LOST writing team!

Besides that the there will be some langauge and sexuality in later chapters!

_Here it is! I hope you guys enjoy!_

** Lost **

Beep

Beep

Sounds around seemed almost unfamiliar compared to the roaring waves and the calls of birds upon the wind.  
Her eyes wondered to each machine she was hooked up to. Watching each breath she took and every pulse that ran through her body. They then came down to her hand, which lay in her lap amongst the quilted blue blanket. An IV was stuck in her hand with tape concealing it.

She raised her other hand over the one at which she stared. The tips of her fingers grazed across the tape as she remembered the pain that woke her.

Opening her eyes at the dimness of the light around her. Doctors and nurses around her came into focus as they hovered over her. Had it all been and dream? Or was this now a dream? Had there been an island or what it her imagination? Soon a simple voice answered all her questions.

"You swear she'll be ok?" He questioned calling her eyes to him.

He stood in the doorway arguing with a nurse. His eyes full of worry and his hands gesturing. The nurse assured him and he began to turn away. Before he was out the door he caught her eyes. So weary were they under the artificial light. But they were good enough to catch his smile as she turned and left them to treat her.

Running her fingers over the tape again she became in a daze with it. Not this it was significant to her at all besides being a lifeline. It just caught her attention for some reason.

"Hey kiddo." His voice greeted her.

Up from her daze she looked over to the doorway where he stood. Lent up against the frame his arms folded across his chest. A greeting smile graced his lips as he gazed upon her. She hadn't seen him smile like that since…she couldn't really remember the last time she saw him smile. It was a carefree smile and you can't smile carefree trying to survive on an island.

"Hey.' She replied back with her own smile.

He stood for a second without words keeping her gaze.

"So Kate Ryan…" He said pushing his weight off the wall as he headed over to her/

"So Jack Sheppard." She said back as he came to her bedside.

"Nine months and neither of us knew " Jack sighed with a gentle laugh.

She lowered her head and immediately Jack knew something was wrong.

"What?" he asked questioning his brow.

"My last name isn't Ryan."

"It's Austin." She announced raising her head to look Jack in the face.

She quickly saw the glitter in Jack's eyes fade.

"Ryan was the name I used while I was on the run." She explained as memories brought tears to her eyes.

She couldn't look at him any longer. She turned back to the IV in her hand.

He lowered his eyes to the bed wanting more then ever to ask what she did. He knew she killed someone. The man she loved, and he didn't know why. He told he didn't want to know, but deep down he did. He wanted to know what troubled her. He wanted to know why she hurt so much.

The sounds of the machines and gizmos were all that filled the tight air between the two. Both wanted to say something, but couldn't bring themselves to do it.

Kate sniffed back her tears as she looked back up to Jack.

"Look.. I'm so sorry I lie-"

"Don't be sorry Kate. I'm not mad at you." Jack interrupted looking her once again in the eyes with that glitter.

"I don't wanna know why you did things then, in your past. I just want to concentrate on now." He said with a smile.

That smile made her feel better. It always did. No matter what had happened before. Soon it faded as the silence between them became awkward. And that's what she hated. Those silences between them that always came after she told him something about her past.

She just wished that she knew what he was thinking about staring at her indirectly. He had to be the one of the only two men she couldn't just look at and tell what he was thinking right off the bat. Him and Tom. She could never tell what Tom was thinking and that is what intrigued her. That's what made her fall in love with him.

Was she in love with Jack?

Looking back his way she made a casual glance to see if she could answer that question with a look in his eyes. She couldn't even see a look in his eye let alone tell if she loved him. There were too many things that complicated that question. Her past. His past. But she would let all of that go in an instant if she knew he felt the same way.

"Is anyone looking for me?" She causally asked to get her mind off the subject of love.

Jack looked to her out of his daze and she saw that glimmer in his eye disappear. It just faded into that cinnamon color his eyes took when he didn't want to answer the question he had been asked. But it wasn't that he didn't want to answer it. It was that the subject behind it was too tough for either of them to take on.

"Not that I know of." He answered with slight exhale.

She smiled with a gentle laugh wondering what was taken them so long. Looking up to Jack she could tell the question bothered him. It irked him to talk about her past and get no real information out of it.

"They're looking for Sawyer though…" He announced in a tone barely above a whisper.

Kate lowered her gaze to the bed again. She had forgotten all about Sawyer. Let him slip her memory. She had forgotten a lot when she had blacked out after being shot. Just bits and pieces of certain things that had happened. Nothing to where she'd have to readjust, but some things that were obvious. Still she had never forgotten him after that. But the overwhelming situation of being rescued did him in.

"So how is the doctor doing?" Kate asked with a slanted smile trying for once to push that dimpled smile from her memory.

Jack had to chuckle at her choice of nickname. He didn't remember her ever calling him a doctor. She had called him many things and most of them were true titles, but never the title he was appointed.

"Well they said I'm probably the healthiest out of all of us…" He began.

"Go figure." He finished with a laugh as he tried to balance against the bed.

"So how are the others?" She questioned shifting her weight on the bed so Jack could lean in further.

"Well I've only spoken to Sayid and Sun. Sayid is fine besides some anemia and lack of nutrients…" He began looking away from her eyes again.

"And Sun?" Kate questioned wondering why he had suddenly pulled away.

He looked back and took a deep breath. Preparing himself for what he was about to say.

"Sun's pregnant."

Kate was quiet. She was letting what he said sink in. Sun pregnant. It was never a thought to any of them. It even seemed to surprise Jack. She didn't even look pregnant.

"How far along?" She asked.

"Few weeks. Not that far. Not like Claire." Jack said as his stare jolted around again from Kate to other things in the room.

"Did you know…back on the island?" She asked.

His gaze settled on her again, but only for a few seconds. But she watched him as he went to answer. Watching the way he was towards her. Seeing how he couldn't keep his eyes on her for more then two seconds.

"No." He answered drawing out it bottom lip.

It fell silent between them again. Kate was waiting for him to say something because she really didn't have anything to talk about. She was being kept away from everyone and everything she had gotten used to over the past nine months and going without them for two hours at the most put her in a fog.

She sat silently playing with her fingers like she had with the IV. It was an unconscious time waster. Looking up she saw that he too had become entranced with her hands. She wondered if he also had that odd fascination with the IV.

Little did she know he stood there staring at it wondering how he had let her get like this. Hooked up to nine million different machines. All making sure to keep her alive.

Why didn't he protect her better?

Why didn't he kill that man and make sure he wouldn't come back?

Why couldn't he just look her in the eyes and tell her how he felt?

Tell her that she was the only reason he left. The only reason he stayed alive.

Why couldn't he lean over and kiss her gently?

Why couldn't he tell her she didn't have to worry that he would protect her?

Because he couldn't he couldn't protect her. He couldn't just lean in and kiss her. Not without fear of disappointment and judgment. Same way with telling her anything. And he did kill that man and he told another to make sure he was dead and yet he let him live. Leaving him able to come back.

Jack shook his head at the swirling nonsense. Even with him alive he couldn't get off the island. It was a miracle that they got off.

Finally passing it off he glanced to Kate questioning the reality of that thought. Was it a miracle that they got off the island? Was it really all it was cracked up to be?

For the others maybe. But looking at her sitting there with her own thoughts running through her mind he wondered how he was going to adjust. On the island there was certainty that he would see her every day. Laying next him. Him protecting her from everything and everyone. Here there was no certainty. No real assurance that she would lay next to him again. Both knew that. Knew that they would go their separate ways and possibly never see one another again.

It was quiet sad that they were more vulnerable back in the real world rather then a crazy island full of monsters, strangers, and dead people. In the real world there was space to divide them.

"Jack…" He heard her call.

He looked to her from his thought-haunted daze. Her face was full of worry. Her eyes wide with a small level of fear that only he saw in her. She was concerned.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"Fine" He answered acting like he had never sat there and tortured himself over her.

"You sure? You were scaring me there for a second with your staring contest with my hands." She said looking him over to be sure.

"Yeah I'm fine." He assured her with a gentle laugh disguising his insecurities.

It was silent yet again, but this time they had each other eyes and smiles. With a sigh Jack looked away not able to sit there and stare at her any longer. Not without being able to reach out and touch her. To brush his fingers across her cheek.

She could tell he felt awkward. Just the way he moved and how he had a hard time looking at her. She knew something about her pulled him inside trying to keep him from letting himself go. That's how she was. And it was her past that pulled her in. Her scared soul. Looking to Jack she still couldn't tell what it was that pulled him.

"Well I have to go and cheek up on the others." He announced finally getting the strength to pull completely away. Or at least enough to walk out.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't want him to leave, but she knew it was for the best. The anguish between them was too great.

Not knowing how to leave he just moved on action without thought. Whatever happened happened. Slowly he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her. Pressing her tightly to his chest. She sat there in his arms not knowing what to do. So she did as he did and let it go.

Wrapping her arms around his neck she held him close. Not wanting to let go. And if she could've stayed there forever she would've.

He stayed there for a moment without words. Just taking her in. Smelling her hair. Remembering how her body fit in his arms. He was so scared that he'd never hold her again. Never see her again once he pulled away.

"It's going to be ok." He whispered assuring himself more then her as tears stung her eyes.

And with his words he pulled back and let go. He stood in front of her looking away only to sniff back his tears. As he turned back he flashed her a little smile that hopefully hid his pain.

"See you later." He said barely above a whisper with that smile still intact.

Slowly without waiting for her to say anything he turned and began to leave.

"You too Jack." She exclaimed stopping him in his tracks.

He couldn't look back. Her words tore him down in an instant.

"Yeah." He replied only turning his face so that she could see him, but he couldn't see her.

With that he departed. Walked out of the door and never turned back.

Kate sat there staring at that door. Waiting for him to walk back in and say something. Anything to prolong their goodbyes.

Closing her eyes she settled back against the pillows behind her. Settling into this new life. This life she really didn't want to be apart of.

Opening them they wondered around the room again looking to each machine watching what it did. Then she saw the porthole in the wall. The sky outside was bright and the sun was enough to light the room. And again they wondered back to her IV.

Raising her hand again she grazed her hand over the tape. Remembering the feel with her fingertips. This wasn't her lifeline. Her lifeline wouldn't have hurt her the way this had. A lifeline was supposed to heal her and keep her alive. And that's what he did. At all costs to himself. And without her lifeline she was lost.

_Hope you liked it i'll have some more up this week along with Essence..._


	2. Alone in the Middle of a Crowd

_Sorry this chapter took so long. I've been fighting myself over it and was trying to find the motivation to write it. Not that i didn't want to write it, it's just really emotional! Anyways here it is! Hope as always you all enjoy! And that's for your gracious reviews!_**  
**

**Alone in the Middle of a Crowd**

"Knock, knock."

Kate looked up from her dazed thought and over to the doorway seeing Charlie and Claire standing there eagerly.

"Hey." Kate smiled sitting up.

Quickly without words Claire came rushing in past Charlie with open arms. Immediately she wrapped her arms around Kate holding her close.

"How are you?" She asked pulling away to look Kate over.

"I'm good. I guess." Kate replied shrugging the question off.

"Well that's good.' Charlie smiled coming next to Claire.

"How are you guys?" Kate asked looking between the two.

"Good except for the usual stuff…" Claire began to explain.

Kate looked to her confused. What was the normal stuff? She thought. Normal to her was a gunshot wound and a broken leg.

"You know anemia and being pregnant." She laughed rolling her eyes.

"How is the baby?" Kate asked looking down to Claire's bulging stomach.

Without words Claire place her hand over her swollen abdomen. As she did this, her face became blank and Kate began to think the worst.

"They said it's healthy and that I shouldn't have any problems.' Claire explained staring down at her stomach.

"That's good. You had me worried there for a minute." Kate smiled brining Claire's stare back to her.

"And Christopher?"

"Oh he's doing great. They're just running some tests on him." Claire explained as her face fell again.

"I really didn't want to leave him…" She continued fiddling nervously with her fingers.

Kate could see she was worried as her eyes dropped and she became quiet. She had no idea how she felt not being a mother and all, but she knew it wasn't a good feeling.

"Hey…" She began resting her hand over Claire's.

Her eyes came up to again meet Kate's. They were full of tears.

"It's ok." Kate smiled hoping to make her feel better.

"Yeah I guess you're right." Claire said with a weak smile hiding her fear.

Kate said nothing as she leaned in taking Claire in her arms like she had her. Claire rested her head on Kate's shoulder sniffing back tears. Gently rubbing her back, Kate held her tighter before pulling back.

"Go and be with him." Kate said.

Claire's face lit up as thought she had just been set free. And with Kate's words Claire leaned in and squeezed her tight.

"I'm fine by the way.' Charlie called from behind them.

The two separated and looked back to him with raised eyebrows. He stood there with a sad puppy dogface trying to pull sympathy from the two.

"Charlie's fine by the way." He said as a smiled grew across his face.

Kate couldn't help but burst out into laughter causing Charlie to do the same. He couldn't believe she remembered that. It had been so long ago, yet it was so fresh in their minds. Claire looked back and forth between the two utterly confused.

"I don't get it." Claire announced looking to Charlie.

"It's something I said when me, Kate, and Jack went to the cockpit looking for that transceiver thing." Charlie explained with his face turning red as he tried to swallow his laughter.

Claire looked back to Kate for some more detail. Her mind wasn't on the joke anymore it was on Jack. The moment Charlie spoke his name he popped in her head. Seeing Claire confused she just shook her head and let out a laugh to cover up her mind wondering. It was just one of those "you had to be there moments".

"I'll explain it to you later." Charlie said with a wink.

"We best get a move on and go see the little one." Charlie exclaimed with a sigh.

As they got ready to leave Claire and Kate wrapped their arms around one another one last time and kissed each other on the cheek. Claire moved out of the way and towards the door as Charlie walked up. Kate quickly embraced him in a hug.

"Now you get better so you can join us on this lovey boat." Charlie said pointing his finger in Kate's face.

"I will." Kate assured him.

"Alright then." Charlie smiled.

With that he turned and walked over to Claire. Wrapping his arm around her waist he lead her out of the room. Leaving Kate again alone. Alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts of Jack.

Her thoughts turned into dreams as she fell asleep. The night seemed so long and it felt like day could never come. With the haunting images of her past, the island, and Jack swimming in her head she had a hard time staying asleep. Then she would just lie there staring out the porthole into the night sky wondering where they were. There were times when she felt eyes upon her and she knew on occasion some people stopped by and peeked her in room. She knew the doctors and the nurses were checking on her, but she also knew Jack was too. His eyes were forever burned into her skin.

Two days went by and her health improved. On the second day back to the states they pulled her off the machines and let her walk around. By the forth she was completely out of the room and bunking with Sun. Still she was watched and monitored along with the rest of the survivors.

She wanted badly to join the others up on deck and out in the sun, but she was terrified that they'd catch her. They knew they were waiting around that corner for her. Waiting to pull away from this and take her to the states to lock her up. When she did venture out of her room she was cautious.

Looking around the corner she checked to make sure they weren't right behind it looking for her. Seeing the long hall nearly empty she continued. Walking along minding her business she made her way to the staircase leading to the outside deck above. As she walked a man came out from around a corner and headed for her.

His eyes were on her as carried along. She immediately became weak and short breathed. He caught her eyes and she was certain he was there for her. The closer he came the more terrified she became. As he came to her she had to look up. He simply looked down to her with a smile and continued on his way. Kate stopped, turned, and watched him walk away. The second he disappeared behind a corner she let out her breath. Bringing her hand to her chest she felt her heart beat return to normal.

Walking up the stairs and out into the open Kate quickly took in the fresh air. It felt good to be out in the open. Glancing out onto the horizon the sun was setting beneath the sea spattering a ray of beautiful colors across the sky. It was breathtaking.

Not a breathtaking as when her eyes wondered over to see Jack. He just stood there, his arms resting limply over the railing and his gaze out onto the horizon. Seeing him standing there she couldn't move. It was the first time she had seen him sense that awkward day in her room.

Her face became sad when she realized he stood alone. Looking out across the deck she only saw a few survivors here and there. He was the only one she really knew. She just watched him wondering what he was thinking. Was he thinking about her?

Finally after standing there forever it seemed she realized it wasn't doing her any good just standing there. Slowly she began to walk over there never breaking her stare. Trying to be as quiet as possible she came up and stood next to him. Instantly she felt at happy. Just standing there next to him without words just made her feel right. Oddly he didn't notice her as she stared up to him. Maybe he did and was just pretending not to see her.

After standing they're for a while with not a look, a word, or acknowledgment it became an uncomfortable feeling standing there without words. Looking up to him she waited once more to see if he would say anything. Nothing. So she nudged him lightly in the side. He looked down to her confused with a furrowed brow until he realized whom it was. When he did his face lit up with surprise.

"Kate." He exclaimed with a smile.

She just stood there with a smile happy to see him happy. He wanted to say something to her, but couldn't make words. He was just so happy to see her up and about instead of confined to that room.

"Ho…how are you feeling?" He stammered trying to pick the right question.

"Good." She answered turning around and leaning over the railing like he had been.

"That's good." He said lowering his voice as he too turned and hung over the railing.

There was that awkward silence. Awkward to some, but pleasing to them. It just felt good to be close to each other. To not be alone anymore. Standing there arm to arm watching the sunset which was calming to both of them.

"So…" Kate began looking up to him.

"How has Jack been doing?" She asked as he glanced down to her.

"Good. I guess. Nothing to exciting." He answered with a sigh and slight smile as he turned to his side to face her.

"Just isn't fun if your not being chased by some monster or stitching someone up huh?" She asked with a smile of her own pulling at the corner of her lips.

"Nope nothing that exciting." He laughed looking back out over the water.

"We reach LA later tonight." Kate announced in a sullen voice as she looked down to her hands dangling over the railing.

"Yeah…." Jack sighed his attention still caught by the water.

Kate knew he was feeling the same way she was. It was scary to think after nine months they were back in civilization. Everyone was on edge about it. That's why they were all probably in their rooms. Clinging to the last moment together before they would all go back to their lives. Hopefully.

Sadly Jack and Kate had to go back to their own lives as well. Jack going back to being a doctor and back to his mother without brining his father home like he had said. He didn't know how he was going to put himself back into that job of being a doctor. And then there was Kate's life. What did she really have to go back to? Last time she was in the real world she was running. She had no life. No family. No one to love her. She doubted it would matter if she had any of that anyways. She was certain they were waiting for her in LA.

Jack looked down to see Kate in an intense daze with her hands. He saw the fear on her face and knew what that fear was of. Without even looking in her eyes he could see what she was afraid of. He wanted to comfort her and tell her it was all going to be ok like he had when they first got on the boat. Then he believed it for her and not himself. Not he didn't believe for either of them. There was no certainty for them.

"It's going to be ok." His voice assured.

Kate looked up to see him smiling down upon her. She was confused about what he meant.

"What?" She asked.

"It's going to be ok." He repeated hoping she believe his words.

"Whatever happens I got your back. No matter what." He continued.

She became weak with his words. He was going to be there no matter what happened and she believed him. With every fiber in her body she believed him. He was going to protect her.

Tears stung her eyes and all she could do was wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close. Without words Jack wrapped his around her and held her tight. Pressing her to his chest he felt her shaking in his arms. This brought on his own tears as she rested her head on his shoulder. No words were said as they stood there holding each other not wanting to let go.

They held each other till tears stopped or wouldn't come anymore. Just the touch and warmth of one another calmed both down. Telling them it was all ok. They had each other to fall back on.

"Thank you." Kate whispered against his neck.

Jack was frozen with her words. She shouldn't be the one thanking. He should. She was the one that made him realize what he was there for. Her.

"Thank you." He said back to her holding her closer.

Kate pulled back with his words. Looking up to him she was confused.

"Why are you thanking me?" She asked.

"For just being you Kate. For not holding back." He said wiping his hand across his face.

Kate had to laugh at his reason as she wiped away her own tears. No matter how weird the reason it was a reason. And she could see in his eyes and the way he said it that he meant it.

Slowly she turned away and looked out to the water again. Jack came up and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side as he joined her in looking out to the horizon.

"It's going to be ok." He said again.

Kate nodded her head as she glanced up meeting his eyes.

"Yeah…." She sighed lowering her head to his shoulder.

Night came quickly full of worry and fear. The survivors had gathered their things and headed out onto the boat deck. LA was seen in the near distance. They were no more then a mile away. A mile stood between all of them and their new lives.

A helicopter was going to fly them to the hotel they were all staying in for the next week till everyone got situated. The Hilton hotel sounded nice, but no one really wanted to stay there knowing that in a week's time they'd all probably never see each other again.

Kate came up on deck just as the helicopter landed. Jack was right behind her with his stuff. They had spent the last hours on the boat together scared that once they left that would be it. Walking up to the crowd Kate was fearful and so was Jack, but they knew they weren't the only ones scared.

Claire looked over he shoulder as she stood next to Charlie holding Christopher tight. She smiled seeing Kate and Jack together. She hoped that they worked out what was between them and got together like she knew both of them wanted to be.

Kate looked up to Claire staring at her as she and Jack walked up. She flashed her a smile seeing Christopher peaking over her shoulder.

"Hi." Kate said in a high voice greeting the small child.

"Haven't seen you in awhile." She smiled caressing his cheek with her finger.

"Haven't seen you either." Claire stated looking to Kate.

Kate's stomach tightened seeing the men jump off the helicopter and beginning to walk towards the group. Still she tried to focus on Claire.

"Well I've been hiding." Kate admitted loosing her smile as her eyes turned to the men again.

Claire knew what she was hiding from without even looking back. She like Jack saw the fear on her face.

"It's going to be alright Kate." She assured her with a smile.

Kate chuckled at the comment. It was so familiar to her.

"Yeah… everyone has been saying that." Kate sighed looking back to Jack who stood close behind her looking to her with that comforting smile.

Claire smiled along with the two knowing her and Jack's words were right.

"And everyone's right." Charlie chimed in.

All three looked to him.

"Everything is going to be fine. We're all going to go back to normal and forget that bloody hell hole." He finished wrapping his arm tightly around Claire.

She looked up to him with a warming smile as he looked down to her with the same. Leaning down he placed a kiss on her lips and then on atop Christopher's forehead. Leaving both of them with smiles.

Kate and Jack had to smile at his hope and love for the two of them. They were going to be together. There was no doubt about it. They were meant for each other.

Kate wished she had hope, but any small amount she had was going to fade once they landed at that hotel. Even if Jack did have her back. It was hard to believe any of them saying it was going to be ok. How did they know? How did they know anything? Did they know that plane was going to crash? Did they know they were going to be stuck on and island for nine months trying to run and survive from monsters and murderers? They knew nothing.

Her mind slowly eased as she turned to Jack who glanced down to her with that smile upon his lips. She knew he thought everything was going to be ok and that everything was going to go back to normal even know the island was more normal to all of them then life in the real world. Little did she know that thoughts of the unknown plagued his mind too. Challenging all he knew and all he had come to terms with in the late nine months.

He realized he couldn't save everybody. As hard as he tried he couldn't. But he wanted to save Kate. Save her from her worries and guilt like she had him. But even he didn't know what was in store. What would happen when they got to that hotel? Maybe she would be arrested and tried. But no matter if she did or didn't he was going to be there.

Kate, Jack, Claire, Christopher, Charlie, and Hurley were on the second helicopter ride. Climbing up into the helicopter Hurley was first, with Charlie, Claire and Christopher second. With Jack and Kate last. Securing themselves in they all looked around to each other. Awkward smiles were given not knowing what to say at the moment, but the feeling of closeness couldn't have been greater.

As the helicopter began to lift off of the ship Claire clutched to Charlie as Hurley clutched to the seat and Kate wrapped her arm around Jack's. They other three laughed at the coincidence, but Jack and Kate just looked to each other in the moment of comfort. The three saw the it factor in the two as Jack wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. It was too obvious for them. But slowly the thought was forgotten as all looked out to see water below them.

"Dudes, I have to tell you guys something." Hurley announced looking to each face.

All were attentive as they looked to him to continue.

"Before all of this. Before the crash. I sorta won the lottery..." He began getting intrigued looks and questioning faces.

"And I'm worth 160 million dollars." He finished holding back awaiting their reactions.

Jack looked to Kate and Charlie looked to Claire. Then they all looked to each other. There was another thing no one knew.

"You're worth 160 million dollars?' Charlie asked wanting to make sure he was hearing him right over the engine.

"Yeah…" Hurley answered somewhat uneasy from the furrowed look Charlie was giving him.

"That's bloody wonderful!" Charlie cheered giving Hurley a high five.

"Why didn't you say anything on the island?" Claire asked.

"Never thought it mattered to you guys." Hurley answered looking around to each of them.

"Well it didn't on an island.' Jack said joining the conversation.

"And it doesn't matter now."

"We love you no matter what." Kate smiled hoping to make him feel better.

And now he did. Looking to each of them with smiles on their faces he felt good about his secret now out in the open and soon a smile grew upon his lips. Quickly it subdued as the helicopter jolted around as it landed atop the hotel. The rocking motion immediately woke Christopher up into a crying fit.

"Shhh." Claire said adjusting him in her arms.

"It's odd how he's quiet the whole time till we land." Charlie remarked gathering his and her things.

He continued to cry and soon it turned in a yell. A yell that begged someone to put him in a bed so he could sleep.

"Is he going to be ok?" Kate asked as Claire headed towards her.

"He just needs to sleep. Too much commotion for one day." Claire said in a hushed tone trying to calm her son. He sensed his mother was uneasy, babies know that sort of thing.

Charlie quickly came up and jumped out putting their stuff on the ground so he could in turn take Christopher. Reaching up for him Claire leaned over with Kate's hand around her waist for balnce and handed the screaming child to Charlie.

"Hey there it's alright." Charlie assured him as he began to bounce him around.

Suddenly he became quiet. Charlie looked back as Claire took notice. Christopher rested his head upon Charlie's shoulder and was in a gaze with the city. All the lights and sounds. They were so new to him as well to the others.

"This is the real world." Charlie whispered.

"Don't know if it's really safer or not…" He began looking back to the child in his arms.

"But you got me here to protect you." He smiled rubbing Christopher chubby cheek.

"And me." Claire called walking up behind them.

"And your mummy." Charlie smiled leaning down to place a kiss on Claire's cheek.

Without thought or worry about the other the two started on towards the elevator. They were in their own little world.

"They're so happy." Jack exclaimed to Kate as he picked up his bags.

Kate didn't hear him. She stood looking out to the city like Christopher had. In such a gaze with all the lights and sounds. It was nothing like looking out onto the ocean and the beautiful sky. The look of the city and the dim stars was unnerving not calming.

"Earth to Kate." She heard as Hurley came up next to her.

She looked over to him as he waved in her face catching her off guard. He just gave her a chuckle shaking his head as he headed after the lovebirds. She just gave him an uneasy smile and looked back out to the city. She didn't look long. Jack came up next her and stood there looking out to the city as she did causing her to look to him instead.

'You ready?" He asked looked down to her.

She gave him the same smile she gave Hurley. A smile to cover up her fear he knew she had. But reluctantly enough she had to go inside and face this head on. With a sigh she slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed off with Jack.

The elevator ride was worse then the helicopter ride. Christopher screamed the whole three minutes while they all tired to comfort him. His crying wasn't the nerve wrecking part. It wasn't being confined to a small metal box hurling down a concrete shaft. It was the fact that they all learned that their families were waiting for them when they stepped off.

For Hurley that meant his mother and brother. He couldn't wait to hug his mother again. He had honestly missed her nagging. For Charlie that meant Liam and his family who were now Claire and Christopher's family. Maybe there was a chance for a Driveshaft reunion after all. Then there was going to be Jack's mother and whoever else decided to show up. He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it for not brining his father home. Family waiting for them meant the Feds waiting for Kate.

All of them stared at the numbers as they counted down. When it stopped on one, breaths were held. They all looked to each other and then back to the doors. As they opened a burst of energy took them off guard. There was everyone who had survived. All of them reuniting with their families and loved ones.

Immediately Hurley took off as he saw his mother. She began to call his name as she ran to him across the room. Charlie quickly spotted Liam. Taking Claire's hand he led her off to meet his family. Leaving Kate and Jack to find their way. With one deep breath they headed out together.

The two walked through the crowd. Occasionally stopping to meet someone's family. But both of them really didn't care in sense that they were looking for their own. Kate searched the crowd looking for that man in the suit who would spot her and come running. Jack skimmed the crowd for his mother or some family member, but was more attentive to Kate's search. He wanted to be right next to her to try anything he could to keep her free.

Coming to the front door of the hotel and the outskirts of the crowd their searches ended in vain. Looking outside they could clearly see all the reporters waiting for the press conference that been scheduled in two days. Yet with all this Kate's attention was caught by every dark corner and man dressed in a suit.

"See anybody?" Jack asked still looking around.

"No body is here for m-"

"Jack!' A gentle voice called.

He knew that voice. The two turned around to see a woman with short blonde hair, who was no taller then Kate dressed in a cream-colored pantsuit hurrying towards them. Jack's heart quickly sank to his stomach. It was his wife.

"Sarah." He gasped with a loss for words.

Kate became confused as she looked back and forth between Jack and this woman now known as Sarah. Who was she?

"Oh my god Jack." Sarah cried wrapping her arms around him.

He stood motionless in her arms for a moment and then unconsciously placed his hand on her back not knowing what else to do. When she pulled back she cupped his face and stared into his eyes sniffing back her tears.

"I missed you so much." She sighed placing her lips to his.

Now Kate was really confused, but somewhat angry. Was this his girlfriend or what? If she was Kate really didn't have reason to be mad Jack wasn't her's. Of course she had kissed him a couple times, but they never declared how they felt for one another.

As Sarah pulled back Jack stood stunned by the sudden turning up of his wife. Then as he looked to Kate's questioning face he felt guilty.

"Kate this is Sarah." Jack introduced getting a dismayed looked from Kate.

"I'm his wife." Sarah announced putting her hand out for Kate.

Her face instantly came down with those words. His wife? Why didn't he ever say anything? She had feelings for this man. A married man. She suddenly felt sick inside. Worse then she did thinking about being arrested. Jack was married.

Kate reluctantly shook her hand. Receiving a disgusted look from Sarah at her awkwardness and distance as she tired to be polite. Kate just couldn't look this woman in the eyes. Not while she was trying to stare into to Jack soul and figure out what he was thinking as he stared at her with obvious remorse.

"And how do you know Jack?" Sarah asked.

Jack thought this was his turn to step in, but Kate beat him to the punch.

"He saved my life." Kate said in near whisper trying to display a smile on her face to cover up her impending tears.

"Oh he did." Sarah sighed looked back to Jack with worship in her eyes.

"See I told you these hands were good for something else." Sarah smiled taking his hands and placing them on her waist.

That was where Kate drew the line. She was fine with meeting Jack's family. She wasn't too fond about finding out he was married, but she could deal with it like she did everything else in her life that went wrong. But now she wasn't going to listen to "Sarah" talking about their sex life. She couldn't bear to here how great of a lover he was without experiencing it for herself. And she could tell Jack wasn't too comfortable with how she was talking either.

"Look I'm going to g-" Kate started before that family reunion continued.

"Jack.' Another voice much hoarser then Sarah's called.

Kate rolled her eyes as she looked over towards the voice as Jack and Sarah did. Another woman came walking up. She was as tall as Sarah, but much older. Her cinnamon colored hair was thinning out and her body seemed rugged as she approached them. Kate thought about it maybe being his other wife, but took it as his mother.

"Mother.' Jack said as Sarah moved over towards Kate so Jack could see his mother.

She said nothing, as she looked her son over. Kate saw the insecurity Jack held as she came walking up to him. And he held it well. He and his mother hadn't gotten along too well after Jack ratted his father out. She of course blamed his for it and knew she would blame him for not brining him home. That was the kind of relationship he had with his parents. If he wasn't the best or doing what they said he was barely their son.

Sarah and Kate passed edgy stares between each other as Jack's mother continued to scrutinize her son with her eyes. Trying to find something to pick at. His face wasn't shaven, his clothes were dirty, and he had really showered in nine months. It was her pick of a candy store.

"That island didn't treat you well." She finally said summing it all up.

Jack looked away trying to compose himself to be respectful. It was hard to hold it back when he had learned to let it all go on that island. He didn't want to hold back, but he did.

"Well trying to survive for nine months really doesn't treat anyone well." Jack exclaimed saying what needed to be said without really saying it.

It was enough to push her back and take notice of Kate.

"And who this?" She asked looking to Jack for an answer.

"This is Kate." Jack said getting that look from her again as Sarah came close to his placing her arm around his back.

"I'm Barbara." Jack's mother introduced with as smile.

"An how do you know Jack?' She asked.

Here it was again, Kate thought. The same question Sarah had asked her.

"He saved my life." Kate answered not even bothering to look to Jack who had his hand forcibly laid on Sarah's waist.

"Oh really." Barbara questioned looking back to Jack who plaster fake smile across his face.

"At least he managed to save someone." She remarked giving her son the same plastered smile that had now dropped from his face.

He knew she would mention something about his father. He waited for it and there it was. She had to go and bring it up in such an underlined way that everyone knew she meant something, but only she and Jack knew what.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough family reunions for one night." Kate announced having had enough of family "Sheppard".

"Yeah I think it's time to turn in too." Jack agreed hoping that small agreement might ease Kate, but of course it didn't. He still got that lonesome stare.

Slowly and sullenly Kate began to lead the four of them unconsciously towards the front desk of the hotel.

"But what about your family Kate?" Sarah asked.

Kate turned around looking to her with a questioning face. Why was she concerned about her? She didn't even know her. But for Jack's sake she didn't make a scene.

"They'll be here tomorrow." She smiled looking awkwardly down to the floor then continued on towards the front desk.

She really wanted to believe what she had said. She wished her family were coming tomorrow, but no family was coming for Kate.

Going up to the desk Jack and Kate got the keys for their rooms. Turned out they were staying in rooms right next to each other. What were the odds? As they turned and headed for the elevator they looked over to see the crowd dying down as others began to turn in. Looking to each other they felt an instant rift between them as Sarah clung to Jack. It was going to be a long week.

Stepping off the elevator Kate fell to the back of the group as Barbara led the way down the hall. Kate walked in loss watching the married couple before her. Why didn't he tell her? She kept thinking. Why did he keep this from her? After all the secrets they shared this is what it had come to?

They came to Kate's room and she was the only one who stopped. Jack said something to Sarah as he pulled away looking back to Kate fumbling with they key. Barbara continued on to the next room not paying attention to her son and daughter in law falling behind.

Much to Sarah's obvious wining Jack walked over to Kate. She didn't even bother look up to him as he stood next to her. She couldn't look him in the eyes. Not like she had no more then an hour before. Not with his wife standing three feet away.

He knew why she was giving him the cold shoulder and he deserved it, but still he wanted a chance to explain. A chance to tell her why he never said anything. A chance to make it right again. That chance wasn't happening that night.

As Kate opened the door she threw her stuff to the floor never minding the elegance of the room. It didn't matter to her. A room was a room and a bed was a bed. Anything was better than airplane seats. In an instance turned back to face Jack.

"Well I guess this is goodnight Jack." She said with and aggravated sigh.

She was mad with him. Mad that when she looked over his shoulder there she stood, but when she looked back into his eyes she felt like falling into his arms. She wanted to him to hold her while cried, but she was behind him. And she was his wife.

"Goodnight Kate." He said in a throaty voice as tears pulled at his eyes.

He was suddenly emotionally exhausted as he looked at her. Her face stern, but her body shaky. He knew she was covering up. He knew she was venerable at that moment and couldn't be anything, but angry with him.

Both reached for the door. Jack taking the doorknob and her the back of the door. Slowly and painfully they both closed the door on what could've and had been.

As the door clicked shut she pressed her body to the door listening to what Sarah had to say. She couldn't make it out, but knew it was about her. Listening to their footsteps walking down the hall she paused waiting for the door to his room to shut. When it did all was lost.

Her legs let out from under her and she fell to the floor still clinging to the doorknob above her head. Letting go her hand slinked down to rest on her hand and she let go. Tears came on like a spring rain. Pouring down her face like a river let loose from a dam. She couldn't hold it in anymore. It just all came out. Pulling her legs to her chest she rested her head upon her knees as she cried. Looking out into the dark room she felt alone. More alone then she ever had been.

Walking into his room with Sarah behind him, Jack just wanted to fall to the floor and pass out. This was all too much for him. Coming back, trying to help Kate, Sarah being there, and then there was his mother. He just wanted to lie down and forget about all of it.

"Come on Jack let's go to bed." Sarah suggested as she rested her hand across his back.

Much to his own surprise he didn't want to fight her. He didn't care anymore he just wanted to lie down and sleep. So he went along with it. She took him by the hand and slowly led him off towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms. And he let her. He just went along thinking to himself how he screwed this all up, and then he saw his mother.

"Jack…" She began.

She had that same face she had when she told him to go find his father. He knew what she wanted and he didn't want to give it to her.

"Not now." He said stopping her.

"I just got back from being on an island for nine months I'm tired." He winded as he turned and started down the hall without Sarah.

"I'll take care of him." Sarah smiled telling Barbara not to worry.

Coming into the bedroom Jack didn't bother with the lights. He simply dropped his stuff to the floor next to the bed as the door closed behind him. Before he could fall to the bed she was in front of him. Slinking her arms around his neck. Pulling him in for a kiss. He would have pulled away and made up something so he could sleep, but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted to lie down.

As they kissed she began to unbutton his shirt and slide her hands around his neck. It had been so long since either had seen each other or touched each other that it felt new.

"It must have been a long nine months." Sarah chuckled looking down to Jack's pants, which were getting tighter without any of his knowledge at all.

He really didn't feel the sexual craving she felt. He just simply wanted to lie down. And if this was going to get him to that place he didn't care, but did he really want this. Was he going to really sleep with her? She was his wife, but things were different now. Much different. Was that going to stop them?

She got his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. Coming back she pulled her own over her head letting in fall atop his. Kissing him again he seemed to have more interest in what she was going. Wrapping his arms around her pulling her close. It didn't matter to her if he participated or not she had him back and that's all she cared about.

Finally he got to lie down. Only the one small detail was that he lay naked under her as they had sex. He stared up her half dazed about what was going on. He was in a mix of exhaustion and guilt that made him unbelievably drowsy. But the sudden mix of pleasure thrown in there kept him focused.

Leaning up he caught her in a kiss as she wrapped her sweaty arms around him. His lips fed her hunger as she grinded her hips against his lap. Her body begging his for that moment of unity that they had once shared. Her pace quickened as she clung to him and him to her. Holding on to what they once had.

As fast as it had begun it was at its end. Jack's tripped over that line of dazed thought as he felt her nails in his back and his body convulse. All he could hear was his name being called with heavy pants slowly being drowned out by his pounding head.

And then it was over.

He couldn't sleep. Now he was wide-awake with her lying curled up next to him. Scooting as carefully as he could away he came to the edge of the bed and hung there. Looking out the window to the city. It was different then looking out to the ocean like he had so many times. He remembered how calming it was. How had he ended up back here?

His eyes wondered down over the city to the floor of his room. Looking around to each thing between him and the window. He came to see his backpack lying on the floor. Stuff falling out of it. He had carried that backpack for nine months. Brining water bottles to the beach. Fish to the caves. Medical supplies when somebody was injured.

Then he spotted it. There sitting on the floor amongst his clothes that had fallen out was the toy airplane.

"Kate." He whispered.

Suddenly he felt sick. He remembered badgering her with it that day in the caves. Yelling at her to tell the truth. God he hated making her cry. Then seeing her sitting by the fire that night spinning it around in the air.

_"It belonged to the man I love, the man I killed!"_

Words that rang in his ears as he lay there staring at a toy airplane crying silently to himself. Suddenly he felt Sarah move closer to him and he almost jump out of the bed. Glancing over to her he felt worse. This wasn't whom he was supposed to be with.

_Looking back to the plane he began to think back to that night in the caves. Holding her lifeless body to his as he rocked back and forth crying. Pulling away he looked down to her face seeing no smile not even a tear. He couldn't take it he had to leave. He couldn't stay there knowing what he had done. Knowing he had killed her. He pulled away. Then that gasping breath and shaky hand upon his arm pulled him back. Looking down he saw life again. He saw the smile and a tear as it rolled down her cheek._

Jack brought his hand to his face as he saw that night play out before him as if he were watching TV. It was too much. Pulling his hand away he saw the airplane again. He had to talk to her.

As quietly as he could he slipped out of the bed. Grabbing his clothes off the floor he watched Sarah with unblinking eyes, as he got dressed. Wiping away his tears he bent down and picked up the toy plane. With no last look to Sarah he headed out the door.


	3. Back on Track

_Here it is. Sorry for the wait. I wanted to make this seven times better then the last chapter. I worked forever on this and think i beat out the last chapter. Hopefully you all enjoy it! Thanks as always to each and everyone of you for reviewing. You guys rock! Enjoy!_

**Back on Track**

Kate had lost time in the dark. It really didn't matter. She sat on the floor crying for what seemed like hours. Holding her knees to chest staring into the darkness of the room.

She wondered how Jack failed to mention his wife to her. All those months, all the flirting, everything and he said nothing. Never showed a sign. He basically lied to her for nine months and made her believe there could be something. Made her fall in love with him.

Did she love Jack?

This had been the second time she had questioned her feelings for him in the last week. First she was afraid she'd never see him again, now he was married and in the next room. So close yet so far away.

She did love Jack.

Not in the way she had loved Tom. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved him. Tom. Her one true love. The man she killed.

Tears again came to her eyes thinking of him and all she had destroyed. His poor wife and son. She caused them to suffer. Caused them pain. Now they had to face the world without him. Just like she had.

Again she thought to Jack and how she loved him. She loved him in a sense like she did Charlie and Claire. She loved them like family. But with Jack there seemed to be more. An underlined feeling that she could love him like she loved Tom.

There was the thought of Tom again. And again it brought on tears.

She turned her head as if trying to hide her tears from the nothingness that surrounded her. Why was she getting this worked up? Her mind was swirling with all that she cared for. All that had lost and gained. She had lost more than she had gained in last three years. She had lost her love and freedom. Now she was on the verge of loosing Jack.

Why was it every time she thought of Jack, Tom popped into her mind?

Turning back she rested her head on her knees. Her eyes scanned the darkness of the room. Looking to all the furniture and antiques that weren't hers. She looked up to the window. Seeing the city that wasn't hers. All the blinking lights and stars that were outcast by them.

This wasn't her world. Her world was a life of running. The life she made for herself long before the island or Jack. A life she made in order to save Tom. A life that had killed Tom. A life that suited her better then this. Sitting on the floor of a plush hotel crying her eyes out over and man she didn't even love. A life that she needed to get back to.

Glancing down to her feet she saw her backpack. Full of her clothes, an airplane blanket, and some food from the ship. Enough stuff to get her by for a while. She thought about it for a moment.

Why not go back out on the run?

No other thought could convince her more to get off the floor and to her feet. Bending over she picked up her backpack. Before sliding it over her shoulder she spotted the mini fridge and made a mad dash for it. She piled the food into every inch of the pack that was empty. There was now enough to get her by for at least a month. That was enough time to get away.

Zipping the pack up she slung it over her shoulder. Without hesitation she headed for the door. She tried her hardest to keep growing thoughts of Claire, Charlie, and Christopher out of her head. There was Hurley and poor Sayid. Then Jack came back into her head.

Coming to the door she put her hand to the knob and stopped. If was if she could see him in the door telling her to stop. Telling her to stay and be with him. Then she came into the picture. Still with her standing behind him with her arms wrapped around him, he begged her to stay. But she couldn't. Not anymore.

Lowering her head she thought about this decision before her. Stay and watch him and his wife lead a happy life. Or go and try to forget about it. So many images passed before her eyes in that moment and when they ended she made her choice.

"I'm leaving." She whispered to herself.

Sniffing back her tears she raised her head in fake pride. Taking a deep breath she gripped the knob tight. Exhaling she swung the door open to start her new life. Only to be hit by her old one she was trying to hide from.

"Kate?" He gasped standing there in front of her.

She looked up into those eyes of his and froze. She couldn't move. He on the other hand was oddly surprised to see her.

"What are you doing?" He asked looking her over.

He saw that she was still dressed like she had been. Her eyes were misty and her face was red. She had been crying. His heart ached knowing it was because of him. He couldn't think why at the moment, but he knew that look in her eyes.

Then he looked down to her hand to see the backpack she had dropped to her side in surprise. It was stuffed full. He could see the peanut bags poking out of odd corners. And he thought to himself again.

What are you doing?

Glancing back up to her face she still had that look in her eyes and that appearance of surprise. And it clicked. She was running.

"Are you running?" He asked.

She said nothing as she turned her back to him and headed into the room. He had caught her. Right in the moment when she had been questioning it he had to come in. It was if he knew. And somehow she knew he did.

What was she to do now?

"Yes Jack I am." She answered.

She couldn't look back to him. She couldn't face him. Still she felt him come into the room and walk up to her. Her eyes focused on the ground as she stood a still as she could. Her emotions were too strong at the moment and if she looked to him she knew she'd loose it.

"Why?"

That was a question she even asked herself. A question she knew the answer to. Because of his stupid wife. A woman she had only been around for ten minutes and maybe only spoken two words to. But if she knew this then why was she suddenly questioning herself? Was it because of him? Of course it was.

"Not like there's anything here for me anyway." She sniffed, as she suddenly felt alone again.

"What about your family? They're supposed to come to-"

"I don't have a family Jack!" She screamed turning around to finally face him.

Tears streaming down her face. She didn't care now. Let him see her broken down. There was nothing he could do to build her up. Nothing he could tell her to make her feel any better.

He stood for a second watching her try and hold herself together. He didn't know what to do. She looked so unhappy and helpless.

"I have no one." She whimpered.

"My mother died, my dad ran out… and the one man I loved I killed."

"I killed him Jack."

She could've collapsed right then. Just fallen to the floor, curled up into a ball, and cried. Cried until she couldn't cry any more. And she knew Jack would try to help. But he couldn't. No one could. She was alone.

He wanted to go to her, but feared the repercussions. Scared of what she would do. He never knew she felt this alone. He had always thought they were in this together. That was back on the island of course. Maybe here it was different.

Of course it was different.

Back on the island their lives were the same. No matter their past or the present. They faced each day together. That was how he thought they would face life back in the real world. Together. Though he never actually thought they'd make it back to the real world.

Yet here they were. Now there was no together. There was only apart. Him back to being a doctor and saving strangers lives. And her….

He really didn't know what life she had waiting for her. It was either behind bars or something she chose. He hoped a life with him was what she'd choose, but instead she rather run. Run away from her problems trying to seek self-happiness. He couldn't stop her. No matter what he wanted or thought, he promised to make her happy no matter what. And if this was it then so be it.

He had to let her go.

She turned away again not being able to look at him. And again she felt him walk up to her. Yet she didn't move as his shadow came over her.

"Here." He whispered extending his hand to her.

Intrigued she looked over to see what he was giving her. She half expected it to be money. Instead there was Tom's toy airplane. Without a second thought she took it from him.

"I thought you might want this."

Her eyes glistened again with tears as she held it. She thought had lost it. Left it on that hellhole for some weirdo to find. Little did she know he had it all along. Words couldn't express how she felt that moment. She really didn't even know how she felt.

She soon felt sadden as his lips came to her. Leaving a gentle kiss on her cheek. A kiss that nearly burned her skin.

"Good bye Kate."

His words played over her cheek and down her neck burning more then the kiss had. Words that nearly broke her heart. He was letting her go.

With that he turned and walked towards the door. Only stopping to look back to see her still standing where he left her. She didn't move or speak word. It hurt him to see her like this. To see her feel alone when she had someone right behind her.

Taking a breath he looked to her one last time before he turned and walked out the door. But before he made it to the hallway he bumped into a body.

"Whoa! Slow down there man." Charlie laughed trying to balnce himself.

Jack looked up to see Charlie and Claire with Christopher in her arms. Their face lit with smiles. Smile of happiness. When sadness and a feeling of guilt brought his down.

"Where are you off to?" Claire asked.

Jack stood for a moment trying to think of where he was going to go. When he had set out from his room he expected to go to Kate's room. He expected to hold her in his arms and never let go. Instead he was saying goodbye to her. With plan one shot down and no plan two it was time to give up that night.

"Back to my room." Jack sighed thinking of what awaited him there.

Charlie and Claire looked to each other and to Kate door that was slightly open.

"Thought you'd be with Kate in her room." Charlie grinned.

"Yeah me too."

Without a goodnight or another word Jack turned and headed down the hall. Leaving Claire and Charlie questioning.

Kate stood still, clutching the toy plane to her chest. Her tears were gone, but her emotions ran high. She didn't know what to do now. She suddenly felt guilty for wanting to leave. Shaking her head she threw the thought and feeling out. She wasn't going to feel guilty over Jack. None of this was her fault.

Or was it?

Maybe it was. If she wouldn't have fallen for him this wouldn't be so hard. If she wouldn't have….

No. How could she blame herself for something she couldn't control? It was easy. If she blamed herself she didn't have to blame anyone else and make them suffer the guilt.

Turning she tried to push the thought from her mind.

"I have to do this." She muttered heading back for the door.

Looking up she came to see Charlie and Claire standing in the doorway and immediately stopped.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Claire questioned.

"Uhh no." Kate replied setting her backpack on the ground.

She tried not to make it look like she was running. She didn't want to upset them. They hadn't done anything to her.

"Can we come in?" Charlie asked.

"Sure." Kate smiled pushing all the negativity from her mind as she tried to look happy for them.

They came in and Kate closed the door behind them. She stood by the door watching them look over the room. They seemed to be in aw with it when she was repulsed by it. It was too big for just one person. It should have been shared with another. Instead the other was with "her" in his room.

Kate looked away as Jack entered her mind again. She became sick thinking of how he left things that night. He just let her go like that. Why was she beating herself up over this? It wasn't like anything would've happened if Sarah wouldn't have shown up. It was a fool's dream.

"Nice place."

Charlie's words interrupted her mindset. She turned back and tried to plaster a smile upon her face, but couldn't. It was too hard to act happy.

"Ours is a bit smaller." He continued looking back to the room. Then he turned back to her with a cheesy smile.

"Wanna trade?"

"Sure." She replied walking up to them.

Suddenly being able to fake that smile. Maybe it was the sight of his. But he saw through it. He saw her unhappiness the way Jack had.

"Why isn't Jack sharing the room with you?" Claire butted in turning back to her.

Kate's smiled disappeared.

"I mean sense you two were so clo-"

"He's married."

She blurted it out not thinking twice about it. That was the reason and she wasn't going to lie about it. He was married and you can't share rooms with married men.

Immediately Claire and Charlie's face fell. Telling from their reactions they had no idea about it either. They are in the dark as much as she was.

"He's-"

"Married." Charlie stuttered.

Kate nodded her head as she looked away to the city then to the room. She was trying to find something to look at to take her mind of the thought. The thought that wouldn't stop haunting her. The thought that brought tears to her eyes.

"Oh I'm so sorry Kate…" Claire sighed coming up behind her.

"Sorry about what?" Kate questioned in a voice brought down by tears as she turned to face them.

They looked to her. Her face blotted with early tears. It upset her to think about Jack having a wife and they knew it. They could see it in the way she talked and acted. They also could see she was trying to act like it was ok.

"Sorry about Jack…." Claire began.

"I know how you two were-"

"How were we?' Kate questioned trying not to sound angered by the whole situation.

Claire backed down with Kate's attitude and Charlie stepped up.

"You know close." Charlie nearly whispered under her tear filled stare.

A smile tugged at the corners of Kate's lips and she had to let out a slight laugh. All the moments they had shared together came back flooding her senses.

"Yeah…close." She whispered with a smile as she concentrated on one moment in particular.

The moment she kissed him. That night when they sat in the cave as the rains pounded outside. Them sitting around the fire drinking. Telling their deepest darkest secrets. The night he failed to mention his wife. The night she didn't think to ask. It didn't matter that night was perfect. Too perfect. A night she thought they'd be together forever.

Soon she thought back to the day everything was almost lost. That fateful morning when Locke had led her back to the caves. He was so happy to see her when she walked in. The look on his face was concern as he treated her wound. Then he looked up into her eyes as uttered the five words she'll never forget.

"I can't loose you Kate."

That day he almost did. To no fault of his own, but he saw it that way. It wasn't his fault that Ethan moved out of his way. She didn't remember much after that.

Then she thought back to the times she had almost lost him. The day the caves caved in. That seemed so long ago. Only seven days into the nine months of them being there. She felt so vulnerable when she ran into the caves. She would have moved those rocks until she died to save Jack; she worked on nothing but fear.

But then all changed when he came walking out with Charlie. The hug she gave him was embedded in her memory. It was a hug of relief. She was so happy to see him alive. There was also the sling.

She had to laugh at the thought.

So many moments she shared with him. From the sling, to golf, and even guava seeds. Then there were the times she dreaded. Times that made her cringe and even cry. Him yelling at her about the toy airplane she still held in her hand. When he wouldn't talk to her for weeks after Michael's death. Her finding him in that ditch barely alive. She was so scared in that moment. She didn't know what to do. Just like now.

Turning from the memories she didn't even notice she was crying. Not in a sob, but gentle tears. Wiping them away she looked to Claire and Charlie who also had sorrow written on their faces.

"It's getting late. We should go." Claire announced handing Christopher off to Charlie.

Kate wanted to say something to stop them, but couldn't form the words. She knew it was late and she had probably made them a bit awkward with the whole Jack talk. So it was probably best if they left.

"If you need anything let me know." Claire told her as she came up.

She had to be referring to Jack.

"I will.' Kate assured her as Claire wrapped her arms around her.

Kate was the one to hold on and she held on tight. If was if she was clinging to Claire. Telling her in some way that she wasn't strong enough for her to leave. She wanted to hold her forever. Yet Claire pulled away and Charlie came over. Wrapping his one free hand around her. He said nothing to comfort her like Claire had, but Kate felt knew he would've if he had something to say.

Pulling apart Kate had to smile. She was among friends who cared for her and suddenly she didn't feel alone. She leaned down to Christopher in Charlie's arms and placed a gentle kiss a top his head.

"Thanks you guys."

"No need to thank us." Charlie finally spoke up.

With that they headed for the door. Claire came up and gave Kate another hug and turned towards Charlie. Who had stopped and turned to Kate.

"Don't forget about breakfast tomorrow."

"Breakfast?" Kate asked hearing about it for the first time.

"Yes it's the meal in the beginning of the day, before lunch. Hobbits usually have two." He explained.

Hobbits? Kate thought. What did that have to do with anything? It didn't matter. What matter was what she was going to tell them. Or what she was going to do for the matter. Minutes before she was going to leave and never come back, but after seeing them she didn't have the heart.

"I'll be there.' She assured them.

"Wonderful." Charlie smiled opening the door.

"Goodnight Kate." Claire said walking out before him.

"You too."

And then they shut the door and she was alone again. In presence not sprit.

Looking around the room she came to see her backpack laying on the floor again. Last time she had seen it she decided to leave. Now she decided to unpack and live it out. She was going to stay no matter if she had Jack or not. Cause she had Charlie and Claire. Then there was of course Hurley, Sayid, and all the others she had grown to love.

Walking over she picked up her backpack and headed down the hallway to the bedroom. The hallway was short, but elegant and almost made her forget her troubles. As she entered she was relieved to see the bed. Without a thought she dropped her pack to the floor and crawled up on the bed.

She quickly fell to her back and stared up to the ceiling. She was exhausted. The day had been so long for her. She doubted she'd get any sleep. Still there was no hurt in trying. Rolling over to her side she closed her eyes and was instantly hit with sleep.

The phone woke her the next morning.

Moaning in exhaustion she rolled over to look at the clock. It was 11:24. The phone stopped. Staring at it for a moment she waited for it to start ringing again. When it didn't she rolled back over and tried to sleep.

It started again.

With a groan she rolled over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Where the bloody hell are you?"

It was Charlie.

"Sleeping." She replied.

"Well get up and get down here."

She could hear the others in the background all trying to be quiet, but it proved too hard. They were all giggling and whispering.

"We're not eating without you."

Kate lay there trying to think of what he meant. Her mind searched the conversation the night before. Skipping over the talk of Jack being married she came to remember his reminder of breakfast.

"Kate?"

"I'm here."

"Well you're not here. Everyone is waiting for you-"

"Come down here." Claire interrupted.

She had to laugh at their attempt.

"I'll be down in five minutes."

"You better. Or we're coming up there." He warned.

Kate said nothing back. She listened for a moment until she heard them hang up. Putting the phone back on the receiver she dropped her hand to her stomach. She thought about it for a second. Did she have the energy to get up? Quickly the feeling of hunger came on and answered her question.

Walking down the hallway of the hotel she could already hear their chattering. She could barely make out their individual voice in her tiresome state. As she yawned she wondered why she had even gotten up. Hunger quickly struck again and she remembered.

Opening the door to the dining room she was hit with a burst of energy.

"Kate." The all called at once.

A smile came to her face as she stood looking to each one of them. Charlie and Claire sat together in the middle of the table. With Hurley and Sayid to the left of them. Locke sat at the head with Sun next to him. Some of the others she hadn't really spoke to sat at the other end across from Locke. Then there was Jack. Sitting across from Claire and Charlie. There was an empty seat next to him obviously for her.

"Sit down." Charlie demanded pointing to the empty chair next to Jack.

She felt awkward as she walked over. All eyes were on her as she made her way. Even Jack's. Coming next to him he instantly got up and pulled her chair out. She looked up to him surprised.

"Thank you.' She whispered sitting down.

He sat back down and looked away as conversation commenced. Quickly it turned to Kate.

"Looks like someone didn't change." Hurley pointed out.

Kate looked down and realized she was still in her clothes from the night before. She hadn't had the energy to change them or she forgot. She really didn't remember.

"I just fell asleep last night. And you guys rushed me this morning so…" She explained with a smile.

They erupted with silent laughter. It felt good to laugh and smile. After nine months of horror it was great to be together like they were and not have to worry about anything.

Within minutes the waiters came up and began taking orders. There were at least six of them. They started at each end of the table and worked their way to the middle. Everyone ordered big seeing how this was their first big meal in nine months. They had the right to pig out and get fat as Charlie put it.

"Where's Christopher?" Locke asked speaking up.

"Oh he's up in the room with Charlie's brother Liam and his wife and daughter." Claire replied.

Charlie added nothing and just simply wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer to him. Everyone seemed to smile at how happy they were. They were the true couple of the group of survivors.

As conversation began again Kate watched on silently. Sometimes looking to Jack. Wondering what was going on in his head. Wondering if he felt the way she did. Turning her thought from him he turned to her.

"See you stayed." He whispered trying his hardest not to look at her.

"Well Charlie and Claire convinced me to stay." She said trying her hardest not to look to him.

He had no comment as he glanced back to her for the first time since she sat down. And for the first time since the night before they looked into each other's eyes. He saw the anger in her eyes as she saw his apology. Still that wasn't going to change how she felt. She needed him to say it.

The food came. Surprisingly enough all the orders were right and they didn't need to call for a mistake. As their glasses were refilled Sayid taped his fork against his getting everyone's attention. They all turned as he stood up.

"I feel so blessed to be among you all here today…" He began.

He was obviously making a toast.

"When we crashed we were all strangers. Over nine months we grew close through fear, survival, love, life, and death. Now we are friends…" He continued looking to each person sitting before him.

"Many did not make it, but still they will not be forgotten. They will be with us always….we have conquered the elements to sit here today in hopes that hopefully we can get back to our lives. I toast to those not with us who will forever be in our memory and in happiness that we made it to this day. To survival." He finished raising his glass.

"To survival."

Everyone raised their glasses honoring every word he said. Taking each word to heart. Some more then others. Taking a drink they all sat in silence remembering what they had accomplished. As they began to eat Charlie stood up and did the same as Sayid calling everyone's attention again this time to him.

"I'd like to say thank you to Sayid for that touching speech. Had me in tears." He joked wiping his fingers down his cheek.

"But what I really want to do is thank each and everyone of you for everything you did over the nine months I came to love all of you…." He began starting his own toast.

"Hurley, thanks for always making it a laugh. We would all of died from boredom without you."

Hurley looked away blushing as Charlie turned to Sayid.

"Sayid, you were the go to guy for everything. Thanks for always being there."

Sayid had to smile at the gratitude as Charlie turned to Locke.

"Locke, you keep us guarded and safe. To you and your 400 knives."

He simply saluted with a smile.

"Sun, I am terribly sorry about Jin and wherever he is he's happy your safe. Now you have a little one to look after and I wish you the best of luck."

Tears welled up in Sun's eyes at his gracious words. He just gave her a wink that made her bust into laughter as he turned to Jack.

"Jack, what can I say about Jack…."

Jack began to blush. He knew Charlie had something up his sleeve.

"He's handsome and charming, but most of all he was our leader."

"You kept us all alive and without you we'd all be dead. Thank you."

Jack looked away with tears of his own starting up.

"Kate. Lovely beautiful Kate."

She did as the others and looked away.

"You are Jack's right hand and without you he wouldn't have made it through. None of us would. You fought more than all of combined. Thank you."

With his words she glanced over to catch Jack's stare. Any animosity between them disappeared for the moment. Charlie's words were the truth. They were a team and neither would have survived without the other. Nothing could change what they were to each other. Not even Sarah.

"To everyone else. You guys I didn't get to know as well as the others, but you were always there. As much as we all were. Thanks."

Then he turned to Claire who waited eagerly for her thanks. Her eyes were wide and waiting for his words.

"And Claire…."

He wiped his hand across his forehead setting his glass down. He looked to her as if there was no one else in the room. It was just them.

"Claire, I really don't know what to say. We've been through so much together. I mean we were stuck on an island for nine months. Running from people, being pregnant, and quitting drugs. Then you were kidnapped and I was nearly killed. I don't know what you went through being all alone and scared. I would've switched places with you in a heartbeat. You didn't deserve any of it…" He continued choking back tears.

Claire was soon wiping away her own. Along with most of the others.

"I felt alone for six months, but I still knew you were alive. I knew it. Then that day you came out of the trees with Christopher. Your beautiful son. A child I consider my own. That was the happiest day of my life. As I said the day we were rescued; I love you Claire. And I love Christopher and our child growing inside you. I will do anything to protect you and our children."

Tears came down all around the table. Even Locke was crying. Charlie was spilling his heart out in front of all of them. He truly loved Claire with all his heart.

"I was just wondering if…." He started again as he got on his knee.

Slowly he took her hand. Everyone knew at that instant was happening. Everyone had to cover their mouths to keep themselves quiet. They all sat watching Claire cover her own as she began to sob.

"Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

She sat in shock for a moment.

"Yes." She whispered nodding her head.

"Yes! Charlie!" She cried flinging her arms around his neck bringing him into a kiss.

Everyone stood and applauded. Hurley began to cheer as everyone watched the happy couple with smiles on their faces. There were no words to describe that moment. Charlie pulled away out of breath.

"Now I don't have a ring, but when we go to pick one out you get whatever you want."

"Oh Charlie…all I want is you." She smiled pulling him into another kiss.

It seemed as if everything was complete. They were all on their way to a normal life and Charlie and Claire were getting married. None of them had ever seen any couple as happy as them. They were too perfect together. They beat the odds and now were starting their own family.

As the love in the air died down everyone started eating. Still with food in front of them it didn't stop anyone form talking about what had just happened. There were questions about the date, the place, the decorations, and anything else that had to do with the wedding that wasn't even planned yet. Claire quickly reminded everyone that she didn't even have ring on her finger and she had just said yes no more then ten minutes before hand. So conversation turned to the baby, then Sun's baby, and finally ended with talk of what everyone else was going to do.

That was the longest breakfast any of them had ever been to. It went on into late afternoon. As 4:00 came rolling around people started leaving and heading up to their rooms to spend time with their family. Claire and Charlie quickly left to get Christopher and head out to the pool. Leaving Hurley and Sun to be the last ones to leave. He seemed to have taking a liking to her since Jin was dead, but she wasn't alone. She had her sister and brother in law who lived in LA. And of course she had the others who would always offer support.

Kate had gone back up to her room to take in the mornings events and to change. Walking back into her bedroom after a nice long shower she looked out the window to see the beach. It brought her back to living on the beach on the island. She missed it for some reason. After moving to the caves she hadn't spent much time there. And after Sawyer's death she never really wanted to go back. It had good memories and bad. Still it was home to her for a while before the caves took its spot.

Staring out over the beach an urge grew inside of her. Suddenly she wanted to be down there in the sand. Sinking again. She thought about it and realized it wouldn't hurt. Maybe it would calm her down.

The sand was hot against her bare feet as she dug them into the sand of the surf. It didn't bother her. Every few seconds the water came up and cooled them off.

Looking out over the water she quickly came to peace with herself. Her place wasn't running. Her place was there in the surf watching the waves come in. It was the most settling thing she had ever experienced. The last few days had been miserable for her and this was pure release.

She was so content she didn't see him walk up.

"This is oddly familiar." He said with a laugh.

She saw him out of the corner of her eye. He had taken his shoes off and dug himself into the sand next to her. Looking back up the beach she search for Sarah wondering why she hadn't popped out and come to maul him. Maybe he was alone. If he was it was too good to be true.

Turning back she saw him give her a smile as he looked out to the water. He was trying his best to mend things between them, but he needed to say something. If he didn't she would.

"Why didn't you tell me you were married?" She finally asked.

He turned to her as she did to him. His eyes tried to apologize for him, but they couldn't and he looked away.

"I wasn't when I got on the plane."

"At least I thought I wasn't."

"We separated before I went to Sydney to get my dad." He explained.

He glanced over catching her eyes again. They had turned from anger to understanding for a moment and then to questioning. He couldn't take her eyes stabbing at his heart like they were. They said more then her lips did.

"She wants to work it out." He announced in a soft tone.

"Is that what you want Jack?" She asked staring at the side of his face.

He thought for a minute. What did he want? Kate. The first thing that popped into his mind was her. That was what he wanted. He wanted to hold her and never let go, but he knew that was a highly unlikely possibility. He had broken their trust and it would be hard to get back.

He then came to Sarah. His wife. She had stayed there waiting for him for nine months or so he thought. Could they work it out? Could they get over their past?

"I don't know what I want Kate." He whispered looking into her eyes.

She turned from him. She had given him the moment to bare his soul and he said he didn't know. She really couldn't be mad at him. All of this had just been sprung on him it seemed. It was sprung on her too. And looking at Charlie and Claire who were both so happy she wanted that. She envied what they had. She just wanted to be happy. She just wanted Jack.

Knowing she should speak up she realized she couldn't. It was too hard to come out and say it. She felt the way he must have been feeling. Or at least the way she hoped he did.

Looking over she saw his intense stare with the water. It was like on the boat when had promised to have her back. And she still believed him. Even though she didn't know Sarah she knew she couldn't stop Jack from being there for her.

Standing there in silence watching him her emotions ran too high. She had to pull away before she began to cry. And she knew she would. Slowly she turned and tried to walk away unnoticed, but he saw her.

"Where are you goi-"

"I have to go." Kate whimpered turning away to hide her tears.

And he let her go like he did the night before. He wasn't going to stop her. Quickly she headed up the beach and out of his sight. Leaving him stand there in the same question he had been asking himself the whole time. What did he want? When he couldn't see her anymore he turned back to the water. Looking out to the ocean he searched for his answer.

Kate looked out over the city from her bedroom window. The city looked so peaceful at night. It looked peaceful in the morning too. Still it was nothing like being on the island, standing in the sand and looking out over the water. She had almost had that serenity that afternoon, but Jack walked up.

It would have been just fine if they hadn't gotten into the talk of him having a wife. She really enjoyed standing there with him for those six seconds before she opened her mouth. But it was something she had to do. She needed to know why.

And sadly her serenity ended. She had to walk away. Her reveres were too much for her. They weren't going to let her stand there next to him and not cry. So she did. She turned and walked away. And he let her. That's what really got to her.

The Jack she knew on the island wouldn't have just let her walk away. He would have gone after her if he knew there was a way to make it right. And there was and he knew it. He let her go the way he had the night before when she said she was leaving. It was if he wasn't willing to fight. She wasn't worth it anymore obviously.

Now she stood in front of a window again letting him consume her thoughts. Letting the fact that he lied about his marriage overwhelm her. She was trying her best to get it out of her system before she had to face anyone. And she knew she had to face Charlie and Claire. They had invited her to dinner with them and their family. She tried to make up and excuse, but they wouldn't hear it. They wanted her to be there for their engagement dinner.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Turning from the window she looked to the door as a knock came again. She knew it was them.

Coming to the door she fixed her shirt and wiped her tears away her tears. Looking into the mirror next to the door she tried to see if she was convincible. Hopefully she was cause once she put her hand to that doorknob all would come out if not.

"Hey!" Claire called hugging Kate the instant she saw her.

"Hey…" Kate said back pulling away as Charlie wrapped his free around her.

Pulling away from his she took Christopher from Charlie's arms.

"Hello." Kate cooed setting the child to her hip.

"Ready for dinner?" Charlie asked.

The three walked down to the dinning room where Liam, his wife, and daughter were waiting. Kate was introduced as she sat down. They began a discussion of life on the island and what they faced. They left out major parts of the conversation. Such as parts about the murders and Claire's two kidnappings. Things that looked and sounded too suspicious. Things that people wouldn't believe.

Kate sat silent for most of the dinner. Only speaking when she was asked a question. She just sat there silently nibbling on her food. She didn't want to talk. She really didn't want to be there, but it would have been selfish for her to turn down the happy couple on their happy day. Even if she was down in the dumps.

They knew she was thinking about Jack. That was all she did. She didn't have to say a word to let them know it was his face she saw when she looked to them. It was his voice and his laughter she heard as they talked. She was lovesick and there was nothing any of them could do. They never realized before that how much she wanted to be with him. She had never realized it till then either.

Suddenly she perked up when she heard his voice for real. It was coming behind her, but was joined by a more feminine one. Looking over her shoulder she saw him walking over to a table. He looked great dressed in a white dress shirt that was familiar to the one he wore on the island and some black dress slacks. She smiled as butterflies grew in her stomach just at the sight of him.

Then she turned sour as Sarah came into her view. Smile from ear to ear as she gripped his hand. Kate watched them without a blink as they sat down. Sarah ordered for the both of them as Jack sat with a smile plastered over his face. Kate knew he wasn't happy. She could tell when his smiles were fake.

His eyes quickly shot up and caught hers. Kate's heart began to race and she couldn't pull away. Sarah began to notice his distance and looked over to see Kate. Jack still didn't see his wife giving looks between the two.

Kate felt nervous staring at him with his wife sitting next to him. She gave him a smile and looked away. As she did she heard Sarah's voice rise as she scolded him. Kate couldn't make out the words, but knew it was about the staring.

Looking back over her shoulder she watched as he tried to calm her down with that gentle tone he always used. He never rose his voice to a lady it seemed. Calming her down he looked away and caught her stare again. This time he gave back the smile she gave him earlier. Her heart melted seeing him smile. She hadn't seen it since they got off the helicopter. It made her feel that things could work out. Just maybe.

"Kate?"

She didn't hear them. Her mind was in a world with Jack again. This time it was a good place to be.

"Kate?"

Finally she heard them as Jack pulled away when Sarah caught him looking again. Kate couldn't watch.

Turning back to the table all looked to her with furrowed brows. Claire looked past her to see Jack sitting with his wife. This had been the first time she saw her. She didn't seem like Jack's type, she thought to herself. Kate was Jack's type.

"So ummm…Kate where is your family?" Charlie asked trying his hardest to get her mind away from Jack and Sarah's conversation that was becoming louder every minute.

"I really don't have-"

She stopped hearing Jack raise his voice in the slightest. It nearly made her hair stand up. She had never heard him use that tone. Taking a deep breath she tried to push their voice out of her head and turn back to the question.

"I don't have any family." She repeated.

The table became silent as they stared at her in disbelief. They all wanted to know why, but they knew they shouldn't push it. All except Charlie.

"What about your mum or dad?" He questioned.

Kate didn't hear him. All she heard was the two fighting behind her. She felt terrible thinking she was the cause of it.

"I mean you have to have a mu-"

Charlie flinched back with a wince as Claire elbowed him in the side trying to get him to shut up.

"What?' He asked in a whisper.

"Leave it Charlie." She warned him.

Kate closed her eyes trying to hold back her tears once again.

"I'm going to head back to my room…' Kate announced standing up.

"Are you alright?" Claire questioned looking up to her.

"I suddenly don't feel so well."

"Ok…." Claire sighed knowing she was leaving cause of Jack.

Kate pushed her chair in and readied to leave.

"I'm so happy for you guys.' She smiled.

"Thank you." Both smiled back.

"And it was nice meeting you." She said turning to Liam, his wife, and daughter.

With that she began out of the room, but not before glancing over to see Jack and Sarah.

"Hope you feel better." Claire called after her.

They all watched her leave and waited till to speak any words. As soon as she was gone Claire smacked Charlie in the back of the head causing laughter from Liam.

"What they bloody hell was that for?" Charlie asked rubbing the back of his head.

"That. For upsetting her." Claire winded.

"She didn't leave cause I upset her…"

"She left cause that upset her." He finished pointing to Sarah and Jack across the way.

They sat silent and ate as they watched the couple became more heated. Something must have really pissed one of them off. Nobody really knew what it was.

Soon the fight was so out of hand that Jack got up and began to head out. Not before Sarah got up and headed after him. She began pleading with him and then yelling at him to come back to her. They all looked away as they flew past them. As they past they watched them walk out the same way Kate did. Charlie and Claire knew he deserved better.

Walking down the hallway Kate came to her room. Stopping at her door she rested her forehead up against it. She felt almost as bad as she had the night before. She began to question if she really had the strength to stay and watch this.

Letting it go for a moment she pulled out her key and went to unlock her door.

"Kate."

She stopped as soon as she heard that voice. Closing her eyes she fought her self not to turn around, but she had to. Turning she saw him coming down the hallway with her of course right behind him.

Dropping her hand from the doorknob she waited as he walked up to her. Still she looked back and forth seeing the disgusted look upon Sarah's face.

"Jack we need to get back to our room sweetheart." She smiled trying to come off nice to Kate.

"Go a head. I need to talk to Kate." Jack told her as he turned, giving her the cold shoulder.

It was hard for her to take the hint. Kate watched as Sarah glared at Jack then her as she walked down the hall. She made it to her and Jack's room and stopped. Stopped to watch him. To watch what they might do.

"Jack…" Kate said looking back up to him.

"I just wanted to say you looked nice tonight."

Kate looked away blushing.

"You do too.' Kate said looking him up and down quickly.

No words came from either of them for a moment. Jack stood smiling and honest smile as Kate smiled nervously back. This was suddenly awkward for her.

"Goodnight Kate." He whispered taking her in his arms.

Kate didn't know what to do. She almost melt from just his touch. So she did only what she could. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him close. They way he smelled almost made her collapsed. And his breath upon her neck made her weak in the knees. There was no way he felt the same way she thought.

But he did. He felt like crying. And he was about to. The feel of her body against his made him feel somehow complete. Like nothing could ruin that moment. It was theirs. But in reality it wasn't.

Both felt Sarah's eyes digging into their bodies. Trying to pull them apart. Cursing them without breath. Opening her eyes, Kate saw her standing there. With her hands on her hips, in aggravation. It was time to break away.

"Goodnight Jack." Kate whispered unwilling pulling back.

She could look up to him as she rested her hands to her side. Not until his lips came to her cheek. Gracing her skin with a goodnight kiss. A kiss that left her breath less without touching her lips. With a gentle laugh he gave her a wink as turned to face his wife.

Kate brought her hand to her cheek protecting it like she had that time on the island. She couldn't move. She was too afraid to. So she stood and watched him walk carefree down the hallway to meet his wife.

As he did Sarah simply opened the door and let him in. When he walked past her Sarah's stare turned to Kate. Kate dropped her hand to her side feeling edgy with her sudden stare. Glaring at her as long as possible, Sarah left her with a shake of her head as she followed Jack into their room.

Kate jumped as the door slammed. For a minute she stood there staring in a daze down the hallway. Swallowing hard she slowly turned to unlock her door. Opening it she quickly headed in closing the door behind her. Waiting what was going to come that night.

Jack walked into his room without a thought or remorse for Sarah behind him. He came in and immediately getting the eye from his mother. He shook his head and looked away telling her to leave it alone. She kept her mouth shut and looked past him to Sarah. Seeing what was about to happen she simply glanced up to Jack and then back to the TV.

Hearing the door slam behind him, Jack turned around to see Sarah standing there. She lowered her hand to her side taking a deep breath to calm her self. Her jaw clenched as she glared at him giving him the hint.

"What in the hell was that?" She questioned.

"What was what?"

Barbara picked up the remote and turned off the TV. Turning she looked to both of them not wanting to miss a moment of this.

"Everything. You staring at her at dinner and then that little incident at her door. Come on Jack! You know what" Sarah yelled.

Jack rolled his eyes not believing Sarah was taking him hanging around with Kate so seriously.

"I can't believe this Sarah. You are getting all hot an bothered over me talking to Kat-"

"No Jack! I am hot and bother over you kissing her-"

"On the cheek. Is that so harmful?" Jack asked.

"Yes it is when you're married!" She yelled.

"Married huh?"

"Yes Jack we're married. Or have you forgot?" She questioned.

"I did after we separated two weeks before I went to Australia to pick up my father. And I almost forgot that I got on a plane, which crashed and stranded me on and island for nine months." Jack explained.

Sarah said nothing as she walked up to Jack. Looking up to him tears welled up into eyes. He didn't know if they were real or fake. Was she trying to put on an act? He really began to think so as she rested her hands against his chest.

"I thought time alone on that island would help you change your mind." Sarah whimpered.

Jack took her hands in his. A smile came over her face, but soon disappeared as he dropped them in front of her.

"But I wasn't alone and I never had time to think."

"Not since I was the one person that was their chance between life and death." Jack said.

"They actually trusted you as a doctor?" Barbara asked.

Jack looked back to her with fire in his eyes. Sarah already fueled him and now his mother was on his case again about his medial skills. He knew the comment was another underlined comment about his father.

"You can't tell me there wasn't one time you didn't think about me." Sarah challenged.

Jack turned back to her lowering the rage in his eyes to pity. Pity that this woman was so desperate to get him back that she was throwing up anything to get back with him. Suddenly he realized this wasn't what he wanted.

"Never." He whispered in her face.

"Not once."

"Not when I was reviving them, not when I was trapped in some cave gasping for my last breath of air, not when I was burying those of us who died out there simply walking out in the jungle…"

"Not even when I held her while she died in my arms taking what was supposed to be last breath. Not even as I cried when she let go of my hand and I thought she was dead. Not once in those nine months." He finished looking away from her.

"So you admit you do love her?" Sarah asked.

Jack turned and outstretched his arms.

"When was this ever about me loving her?"

"Oh it's so clear to see Jack! The way you look at her. The way you talk to her. The way you left me in the middle of the night after we had sex to go give her that stupid toy airplane. It's all about that!" She screamed.

Jack stood silent for a minute staring at her. Just taking in all she was trying to throw up at him. She really didn't know what she wanted, he thought. But this fight brought to mind what he wanted. Finally he knew.

"I want a divorce."

Sarah's eyes became wide.

"Wh-what?" She questioned choking back tears that were apparent in her eyes.

"I said I want a divorce Sarah. Something I should have gotten nine months ago."

She quickly became strong with his words as she approached him.

"You only want one so you can go and be with her." Sarah shot back hoping to break his thought.

"She has nothing to do with this and you know it. So stop bringing her into this." Jack warned.

"Oh, but she has everything to do with it. If you had realized that you were still married when you were stuck there you would have had the guts to tell her to back off. And we wouldn't be here right now talking about it. We'd be lying in bed together and she'd be another blur in your memory like the rest of those losers you supposablly saved!" She screamed in his face.

Jack didn't yell back. He didn't roll his eyes. He just slowly walked up to her and took a deep breath.

"It's over."

With that he walked past heading towards the door. She knew where he was going.

"Jack!" She called.

He continued to the door. Turning the knob he looked back to her without remorse once again. She stood there crying begging him to come back, but he wasn't. Not this time. Lowering his head he opened the door and walked out.

There was no feeling of anything in his body as he walked down the hallway. He didn't even flinch when he heard the door to his room open.

"Jack get back here!" His mother's demanded.

Slowly he turned around rolling his eyes.

"No mother. Not this time."

She closed the door behind her and walked up to him.

"You go in there now and apologi-"

"What part of no don't you two get? I don't want to be married to her anymore." Jack explained.

"Do you think you can anyone better then her? After what you did to your father?" Barbara questioned.

"She'll never be as good as Sarah is. Sarah is perfect for you and you love her."

Now she was bringing Kate into this and his father. He was tired of this being about Kate and his father. She had nothing to do with it and neither did Christian. This was his decision.

"I don't love her. And I never did."

He left her with those words and turned away. Heading down the hall.

"You are just like your father!" Barbara screamed before going back into the room and slamming the door behind her.

Kate's feet scuffled across the concrete as she walked between the lounge chairs place around the pool area. She felt suddenly free from everything and now she truly was. Her daze was with ground as she wondered aimlessly. Looking up to the pool she gazed at water lit up by the blue lights on the bottom.

As her eyes wondered around the edge she spotted him sitting there. Alone. Over the edge with his feet kicking back and forth in the water. For a moment she thought not to interrupt him, but thoughts soon change as he set down a bottle of alcohol next to him. Something was wrong.

"There you are." She spoke announcing herself.

He sat up perfectly strait before looking over his shoulder to her. A sloppy smile placed itself across his lips.

"Could say the same thing about you."

"What?" She questioned coming next to him.

"I came to your room looking for you." He explained as he watched her sit down next to him.

She took off her shoes and joined him by sticking her feet in the water.

"Well there was a little ordeal…." She began looking away with an uneasy smile.

"Oh yeah?" He asked wanting her to continue putting the bottle to his mouth.

Kate stalled watching oddly as he took a drink.

"The FBI came and arrested me." She announced.

Jack's eyes became wide. He wanted to say something, but she stopped him before he could.

"They knocked on my door and put up against the wall and cuffed me. As they led me out through the lobby Hurley came up."

"Hurley?" Jack asked.

"When he saw me he came up and said he'd pay my bail no matter what it was." She finished.

"And how much was it?"

"Half a million." Kate nearly whispered.

Jack was surprised by how high it was. He was also surprised when he found out she was with the marshal. He even had to admit he was taken back that had murdered someone. Still he knew he shouldn't say something to upset her.

"Hurley's good like that." Jack smiled handing Kate the bottle.

He kinda took that she might once some. And she did. She took it from him and put it to her mouth. Taking a huge gulp she let it settle in her mouth before she swallowed.

"Yeah." She smiled putting the bottle to her mouth again.

"So they let you off the hook like that?"

"Well they said I was dismissed from the charges that put me on the run, but I have to pay some fine for other things I did and go to some court hearings and things like that over what I did when I was on the run. But it doesn't matter I'm free." Kate explained looking out to the water as she kicked it with her feet.

Again Jack wanted to know what she did. So bad he almost opened his mouth to ask, but he told himself it was her choice to tell him if and when she wanted to. Instead of speaking he took the bottle from her and took a swig.

"So why were you looking for me?" Kate asked looking over to him.

"I ended it." He choked swallowing the alcohol.

"Ended what?"

He turned and looked her strait in the eyes. No tears no regret.

"My marriage."

Kate gasped slightly as the words hit her. He actually did it. He walked away. She couldn't believe it. She saw Jack as one of those men who stayed with a woman no matter what. She was wrong.

"I'm so sorry Jack." Was all she could say.

She was so happy, yet sad for Jack. He seemed to torn up about it. At least that was how she thought he felt until he looked to her with a huge smile.

"It's ok. I'm not."

"I'm free now too.' He whispered looking out over the water kicking it up like she had.

The two became silent. This time it was that silence that healed them. That comforted them. That let them know they weren't alone.

Kate didn't think as she rested her hand on his leg. Rubbing it back and forth. Telling him without words that she was there for him. He said nothing to her gesture. Just simply put his over her and stopped it in place.

Scooting over, Kate came close to him. Without looking or speaking Jack picked up the bottle that separated them and sat it to his side. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her closer to him. Feeling comfortable she rested her head on his shoulder and with a deep breath she was at peace again. No beach needed.

They both truly felt at peace for once. No family or past problems to ruin it. Just them. Still with the questions of his marriage and her freedom out of the way, they still had to question of them. Of what was next. It wasn't a worry at that moment. They were back on track. And with a sigh from both they pushed it all out of their minds.

"Hell of a way to spend our first days back." He sighed.


	4. Trying to Improve

_This chapter isn't as long or dramatic as my previous chapters, but it's got it's elements. Hope of of you enjoy as you have been. Thanks for all your gracious reviews. You all are too kind : ) _**  
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Trying to Improve**

The day after a press conference was held to discuss things about the survivors and the island. Everyone showed up, but not all of them stayed that long. Sayid left after the introductions. He really wasn't interested in talking about Shannon or any other questions. Sun left when her sister and her family announced they were heading back to their house.

The rest of them stayed and answered questions to best of their knowledge. A lot of questions were about how they survived. Each of them answered their own questions, but most were directed to Claire and Charlie about having to deal with raising Christopher and their sudden engagement that they chose to announce on national television.

All the others pertained to Jack and how he dealt with the pressures of being the only doctor and leader. He expressed his downfalls and high points, but most of his willingness to do it all again if he had to. Then he turned to Kate and expressed how without her he wouldn't have made it. Quickly questions came up about a relationship and both passed it off blushing. Kate thought Jack might use his marriage as an excuse seeing Sarah's angry face in the crowd, but to her dismay he kept it quiet.

After all the prodding questions a representative from Oceanic stepped up and tried to answer questions to the reasons the crash the best he could. Nobody seemed to really know what happened. Things got even more odd when questions on the whereabouts of the island and why it took so long came up. It was odd in the fact that they refused to answer the questions. Even the ones the survivors asked. It seemed almost like a cover up.

Life tried to go back to normal after that. If there was a normal compared to life on a creepy island. Most of the survivors stayed close together feeling too weird to be too far apart. All of them were in driving distance of each other except Sayid and Locke.

The day they all said goodbye Sayid tried to stay out of the way. He simply packed up his things and left. Only leaving them with a number where they could reach them with details about the wedding. After that no one heard from him for days. They had no idea what he was up to.

Locke went out into the great southwest. He bought a ranch out in Kingman, Arizona. He had put some money away in a savings account before he went off to Australia to do the walkabout. When he got back it was all still waiting for him. So he decided to take a crazy opportunity and go and buy a ranch.

Hurley started all the other survivors off by giving each of them a share of his lottery winnings. A 2.2 million dollar share. Something to help each of them get their lives started again. Seeing how besides Locke, he was the only one that had money waiting for him to do so.

He of course moved into a house with his mother and brother high in the Hollywood hills down the street from all the celebrities. He quickly got a job working with an Internet company putting out warnings about airplane safety.

Claire and Charlie with the help of Hurley moved into a beautiful two-story house in Pasadena. They were going to live in LA, but decided they wanted to bring Christopher and their new baby up in the suburbs like every normal family.

Liam promised Charlie from the moment they saw each other again that he would get back with Driveshaft. After the plane went down albums skyrocketed through the roof and fans demanded a reunion tour when Charlie was found out to be alive. Charlie and Liam agreed to the tour along with the other members only on one condition. That it was in the states and that they started and ended on the west coast so he could be closer to Claire and Christopher.

Claire followed Charlie around as a typical rock star wife. Taking over as a decorator and mother of the band. She was they every step of the way as they planned the tour. Morning sickness or not. She wanted to be there for Charlie. But there were also the plans of their wedding. Which they wanted to be as soon as possible for two reasons. The tour was in three months and she wanted their baby to have a legitimate family.

Sun went to live with her family. She was going through an emotional issue with the loss of her husband and the baby on the way. She didn't know how to feel. But she kept her sprits up by helping Claire with the wedding and anything else she could come up with. They became the expectant mothers club.

Jack laid low for a week or two and slowly got back into the routine of being a doctor. Quickly he began to feel the differences of saving lives in the real world and on island. It was harder on the island. It was harder saving the lives of people you knew and grew to love then saving the lives of complete strangers. While he was trying to make a new life for himself he bought a beautiful beach house in Long beach. He was part of a secluded community where all the pristine doctors of the region lived. He really didn't pay attention to them and they didn't to him. He was happy to alone for once.

Then there was the divorce. It was so hard on him. Sarah was trying to drag him through the mud by saying he was unsafe to be by himself after being on that island. She tried declaring that he was insane, but it was too clear to the court and everyone around him her supported him that he was saner then she was. Still he held his head high and tried his best to get through it all the time in the back of his mind he questioned his reasoning and Sarah's. He began to wonder if his mother had anything to do with her insanity plea.

Kate was the one out of all of them that had the most trouble. Well beside Jack. She had the problem of clearing her name. It began with court hearings and fines. She spent most of her time in courtrooms. So much time that she had to stay with Charlie and Claire. She didn't have time to get a job or find a home. She had the money from Hurley, but no time.

In the time that she did have she was tagging along with the expectant mothers and consoling Jack, who she bumped into a lot when she was in court. It was quiet odd how their hearings were where in the same buildings on the same days. When he was in she sat behind him and when it was her turn he was there like he said he would be.

She spent a week and a half in and out of court. She was finally order to 90 hours of community service, which she got rid of in a week's time. After that she found her self and apartment on the outskirts of LA. She was ten miles from Jack in Long Beach and not even five from Charlie, Claire, Hurley and Sun. Seeing how she was Christopher's godmother and practically Charlie and Claire's sister she wanted to be close.

She finally got a job after her week of community service. She ended up picking a Barns and Noble. She stacked books for a living. How interesting, she thought. Well it was better then being in bars. And like everyone she loved around her promised her, things were working out.

Still everyone had their suspicions. Nothing was being answered about the island. No whereabouts. There was a statement released about how they crashed. It was said that it was simply an engine failure. Everyone on the plane knew there was no way an engine failure cause the plane to fall apart like it did. Some were even convinced there was no explanation and that there would never be one.

Everyone was beginning to wonder if this was all a conspiracy with Oceanic. No one seemed to know anything. Soon questions weren't being answered. It all began to die down within a month. After that the survivors were all left wondering. Wondering why the plane crashed, where they were, why it took so long, and most of all why them.

Nearly two months after coming back to LA…

"You too look so cute with all your baby stuff." Kate cooed walking up to Claire and Sun as she walked into the bookstore.

"You like?" Claire asked modeling her latest maternity outfit.

"Yeah." Kate smiled.

'And who is this handsome little man?" Kate asked taking Christopher from Claire.

Putting him on her hip she began to play with his hands as he laughed playfully.

"Charlie put his in that horrible get up." Claire wined pulling at the blue and white baseball uniform Christopher wore.

"No it's cute." Kate assured her joining her in messing with the fabric.

Kate adjusted him on her hip as she walked up to another employee. A woman named Nancy who could've been Shannon's twin. She was the same height with the same chin length blonde hair. And the same attitude.

"Nancy I'm going on my break." Kate announced.

The woman turned around with a snotty look on her face, but it soon turned as she saw Christopher.

"Oh is this your son?" She asked tickling Christopher on the nose.

Christopher quickly began fussy with this new person. It was usual for him to do so. His pediatrician expressed that since his first months of development were on island he lacks the skills of getting used too different faces. It wasn't anything to worry about and he was supposed to grow out of it.

"No he's my friend's." Kate said pointing to Claire as she waved from behind Kate.

"Ohh…." Nancy sighed as he face dropped.

"Well don't be long on your break. Wednesdays are our busiest days." She warned taking as look to each of them and then turning back to walk away.

Kate rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath as she turned to Sun and Claire.

"She's a bit of a bitch…" Claire whispered looking over Kate's shoulder.

"I have to agree Kate, she's got an attitude problem." Sun chimed in.

"Well she reminds me a lot of Shannon in an odd way." Kate exclaimed joining them in watching Nancy set books at the right degree on their display stands.

The tree watched her for a second thinking about Kate's comparison

"Shannon was no where near that anal or bitchy." Claire giggled.

Kate and Sun turned to her. The three busted into laughter as they walked over to the couch area next to the coffee shop. The minute Kate sat down with Christopher in her lap Claire handed her a piece of paper.

"What's this?' She questioned looking it over.

"Directions to the wedding boutique the fittings are Saturday." Claire explained.

"Saturday. When's the wedding?"

"Next Saturday and the baby shower is Friday night." Claire explained.

"Thanks for telling me. I'll have to clear it with miss snooty pants over there when you guys leave."

"What if she won't let you?' Sun asked.

"Yeah what if they won't let you?" Claire wined.

"I mean you're my maid of honor and my baby's godmother. What in the hell am I going to do if you're not the-"

"Don't worry." Kate said resting her hand Claire's leg.

"I'll be there."

Claire felt pressure come off her shoulders. She had been so carefree about planning all of the parties and the wedding she forgot to make sure it was ok with everyone.

"Now I want to see what adorable baby stuff you two must have spent hours shopping for." Kate ordered with a huge smile.

Both girls seemed to jump at the order. Picking up their bags they began to pull out beautiful clothes and everything else baby wise. They were both seemed to be happy with their pregnancies.

Jack walked down the hallway towards his office. Well it wasn't exactly his office it was his fathers old office. The one he had had before he was expelled from the hospital. The beautifully huge office with window views of the whole city. When Christian died they didn't have any idea what to do with it. Then when Jack went down in the plane crash they were lost. But when Jack came back they decided it best he have it.

It had been a long day for him as he walked through those hallow hallways. That morning he had signed his divorce papers then he sent them on to be signed by Sarah. Hopefully she got the idea and wouldn't drag it out anymore.

He still had three hours a head of him. Three hours for anything to happen. A car accident or and fire. Anything. This wasn't how he remembered it. It was different. It was different without his dad by his side. Now he had the whole load on his shoulders. He didn't even have Kate by his side helping him save people. This was more alone then he wanted to be.

"Dr. Sheppard."

He looked up from his daze he was walking in. Glancing over he saw a nurse in front of him.

"These are Billy Matson's x-rays. Radiology wants your opinion on them." She said handing him a folder.

"Thanks Marsha." He smiled heading towards the door of his father's office.

Opening the door he began to look into the folder. Marsha began down the hallway, but turned around.

"Oh and Dr. Sheppard someone called for you while you were downstairs." Marsha announced.

"Who called?" Jack questioned.

"Greg didn't say. They left a message on your machine."

"Thanks." Jack said as he turned and walked into the office.

Closing the door behind him he slowly made his way over to the desk. Looking around the room he tired to get the constant thought of his father out of his head. It was hard. Everything around him reminded him of what happened.

Turning the chair around he fell back into it. Sinking into his leather surroundings he felt rested. Turning he looked over the desk to the phone. It was blinking red telling him there was a message waiting. He was reluctant to check it. A part of him was afraid that it was Sarah trying to get her way out of the divorce again. Then again it could be something important.

Letting his hand drop to the desk he rested it there for a second. Still questioning it. The more he stared at it the more he wanted to push that button. So he did. A he let his finger off the button Charlie's voice relieved him.

"Hey where the bloody hell of you been?"

"You're going to work yourself to death man."

"Still going through that divorce thing? Kate told us how it's been going. Hope it works out."

"Anyways the tux fittings are Saturday at some boutique on Sunset. It's called "The Happy Day." So just be there at two. See ya."

Pushing the button again Jack at back in his seat. A smile came to his face just hearing someone else's voice besides a Judge, Sarah's, the hospital staff, and the one of his dad's yelling in his head. He was also flattered that Charlie had asked him to be his best man. It was something he had never done.

Still that wasn't enough to take away his depression of that day. After looking over the divorce papers for hours that morning he was in a slump. Nothing could have cheered him up until he looked over his desk. Over the pictures atop it.

The pictures of all of them the day they split up. There was one with all of them crowed around each other, one of Sayid, Locke, and Hurley. One of Charlie and Claire holding Christopher between them. Then there was the one that made his day. The one of him and Kate. He stood with her in his arms as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. They all pushed him to do it and he thought what the hell.

A smile came over his face thinking about how happy she was when she was done with her community service, but she didn't gloat. Instead she sat behind him with Claire in that courtroom. She stayed with him even know Sarah was trying her hardest to make her feel uncomfortable with those glares. He'd never forget her support.

He hadn't seen her in two weeks. Every since she got the job at the bookstore she never had any time. Truth was he never had anytime to go and see her. He suddenly felt like he had to. He missed her smile. Plus he wanted to tell her about the divorce. Put her at ease.

Maybe going to see her at seven o'clock at night wasn't the best thing. Maybe a phone call. Again he hesitated with the thought.

What if she wasn't home?

What if she didn't want to talk?

Why was he having this much self-doubt?

Was it because it was Kate?

Of course it was. He felt different about her now. He had felt different every since he found her in that ditch four months before. Then when he nearly killed her he realized he didn't know what to do without her. When she got so broken up over Sarah he didn't know how to react.

Did she feel the same way?

He had no idea. She seemed like something was there and he thought once he it called it off with his wife there would be something, but nothing happen. Well nothing had happened yet. Maybe he could start something. Maybe all call could do that.

Glancing over to their picture he felt nervous. For some odd reason he did. Taking a deep breath he pushed all that out and picked up the phone. Dialing her number he realized he didn't know what to say.

Kate sighed as she closed her apartment door behind her. Rolling her neck she slid her purse down her shoulder. Walking Through the dinning room she threw her purse along with her keys to the table. As they landed with a bang she turned and headed down the hallway to her bedroom.

Coming into the room she switched on her light. Immediately she saw a message on her machine that sat atop her dresser. Hitting the button Claire voice filled her room.

"Just wanted to make sure you got home safe. Call me."

Kate had to laugh. This was an every night thing. Claire was always worried about her. But she rolled it off as she pulled her hair down and walked into her closet. As she picked out her nightwear another voice on the machine caught her attention.

"Hi Kate it's Jack."

Peeking her head out of the closet she listened to the message.

"Just wanted to call and see how you're doing. Hope the job is going well cause mine sucks. Just isn't fun if your not being chased by some monster or stitching someone up."

She had to laugh at his comment.

"Anyways hope you doing well. I guess call me whenever. Bye."

She stood for a second. He sounded depressed to her. Not himself. The divorce was her first guess. It was really getting to him. She never remembered her divorce going like this. Maybe that was because both parties wanted out.

Lowering her head she turned back and continued getting dressed. Coming out dressed in flannel sweat pants and a wife beater she turned off her light. Walking over to her bed she collapsed onto it's black surface. It had been long day.

Lying there she stared up to the ceiling wondering why he had called. He had every right to, but the tone in his voice seemed desperate and lonely. She hoped he was ok, but didn't know for sure. The thought nearly kept her from sleeping. Maybe a phone call would change it. Looking to the clock on her wall she realized a call wouldn't be right. Not at 11 o'clock at night. Maybe she'd go see him tomorrow. Turning over she made her decision. She was going to see him tomorrow.

The next day was a longer one for Kate. There were two book signings within two hours of each other. It was a mad house. All the little kids and teenagers running about and her having to clean up after them. It was insane. Luckily by the end of the day it calmed down.

Now she only had four hours left. She hadn't taking a break all day, but she was going to take one right after she was done putting the new books on the selves.

"Do you know where I could find a book on how to survive on an island?"

That voice stopped her. A smile grew across her face as she turned around. There stood Jack.

"Jack!" She called wrapping her arms around him.

"Miss me?"

All she could do was smile as she pulled back. Standing there the two looked each other up and down. He looked good dressed in jeans and a vintage t-shirt. She looked beautiful in her uniform with her hair pulled back in a bun. A sense of rightness filled them. They were both so glad to see each other.

They quickly sparked up a conversation when they sat down at a table in the coffee shop.

"So did you get my message?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you call me?" He fake wined

"Well though you'd be in bed by midnight when I got home."

"Midnight?" He questioned.

"Yeah they work me to death here…" She began as she looked around them.

Turning to him she leaned over the table and he took the cue to do the same.

"I think they're being told to by my parole officer. He really doesn't like me." She joked.

"Thought you were done with that whole paying for what you did thing."

"Well I still have to be a good little girl."

"That shouldn't be hard to pull off." He smiled.

She had to blush as she looked away.

"I'm glad to see everything is working out."

"Enough about me." Kate exclaimed.

"What has to good doctor been up too?"

"Just signed my divorce papers yesterday. Got news she signed hers today." He announced.

"Really?"

He nodded his head slowly looking away like she had.

"I'm happy it's done."

He said nothing to her kind words. He didn't really know what to say. She saw this and thought that maybe he was having doubts about it.

"Are you ok Jack?" She questioned.

Turning back to her he saw that worry in her eyes. It was a different kind of worry then he had seen back on the island. This wasn't scared worried. This was emotional worry.

"Yeah. I really feel free now." He smiled.

She felt free with his words. Hopefully he wasn't covering something up, but he was. He was covering up the fact that it was getting harder and harder for him to sit there and not leaned over the table to kiss her. He was trying to get up the guts to try and ask her out, but how do you ask someone whose life you saved more then once out? He had no clue.

Yes he had saved Sarah's life and gotten married to her. This was different. This was Kate. The woman he knew so much internally about, but knew nothing externally about her. He had no idea about her favorite food or her first love. He had no idea about her childhood or why she was on the run. How do you spend none months with a person and not know this? It's simple. When you spend all that time trying to survive you really don't have time to talk.

The one thing he did know is she was coy about love. He remembered that night in the cave when they were drinking. He had asked her if she had ever been in love and she didn't want to answer. They ended up kissing. That was the best kiss he had ever had and it was because he knew he had broken down a wall with her. He helped her let him in. Into a part of herself that maybe no one had ever seen.

What about his own walls? His was rejection. He was afraid to be let down like he had his whole life. By his father, the man who was supposed to guide him, but instead pushed him to the breaking point. By his mother, the woman who was supposed to nurture him, but instead blamed him for everything. Then there of course Sarah. His wife. She was supposed to love him not use him.

He had been let down and rejected by everyone who was supposed to love him. He was afraid of this with Kate. He was afraid if he asked her she'd reject him. But she was different then the other people in his life. He didn't expect her to love him and he didn't need her to. He just needed her to let him love her.

All these thoughts going through his mind seemed to take hours up, but it was a mere forty seconds that they consumed.

"I'm glad this hasn't torn you down." Kate sighed.

As his eyes floated back to her from the clock he got the urge to open his mouth and actually go for it. Instead he was interrupted. Kate's awaiting face turned and looked up to a woman as she came up.

"Kate you need to get back to work." Nancy warned walking away from the table.

"Ok." Kate sighed rolling her eyes.

"What were you going to say?" She asked looking back to Jack.

What was he going to say? He couldn't remember. The thought was so spontaneous that it slipped his mind.

"It's time for me to go. Got an early shift tomorrow." He lied with smile to cover it up.

"Yeah I better get back to work before she goes off."

The two got up and stood looking around awkwardly.

"I'll walk you out." Kate announced heading after Jack.

The LA night was cool. The stars were out, but it was hard to see them under the blinding parking lot lights. With the night calming the energy between the two was nervous. They both had something on their minds.

Jack still pushed himself to say something to her, but he couldn't. He had been to that moment once and didn't know how to bring himself back to it.

Kate followed behind him wondering what was up with him. Back in the store he was so distant yet so close. It was odd.

"It was nice seeing you." He smiled awkwardly.

She came up to him under his terrified stare and wrapped her arms around his neck. Pulling him close to her she took him in. It seemed to be what both of them needed. A gesture to break the odd tension between them.

With her arms around him he really began to push himself more. Still he couldn't utter the words. So instead he wrapped his arms around her and held her.

"I'm glad your happy Jack.' She whispered pulling back.

"Thank you."

"Well goodnight." She smiled touching his arm.

"You too."

With that he turned and headed towards his SUV.

"See you Saturday." She yelled after him.

He turned and waved back to her as he got to his SUV. As he drove off she watched after him. When she couldn't see him anymore she let out a breath she had been holding sense she wrapped her arms around him.

She felt relived that he had come and seen her cause she would have never been able to go and see him. She would have worked herself up with expectations and feelings. Feelings she still had even know she shouldn't.

Why shouldn't she have them, she thought.

He's not married anymore. It is perfectly fine for her to feel that way. Or was it. It was more hope then feelings, but still they were there. It was hope that something might happen between them. Something might spark.

She knew it wasn't going to happen. He was going through a hard time with the divorce and she could see he still had something for Sarah. Otherwise he wouldn't be so down.

Still if it was all over and he was really happy she couldn't do it. She couldn't let someone in again. Let someone love her the way Tom did. She didn't have the strength or willpower. It was just something that seemed too much for her.

Taking a deep breath to clear her head she turned around and walked back into the store. The rest of the night she worked in a daze. A daze of what has been and what might be.

Saturday came quicker than anyone expected.

"Oh Claire you are so beautiful!" Sun cooed.

Claire came out in a beautiful white strapless gown. It was stiff around the chest with a floral bead design. It puffed out under the chest and flowed down into the skirt that just touched the floor.

"I picked this out cause it hides my stomach." Claire explained messing with the material.

"What stomach?" Kate asked shaking her head.

"Come on I'm almost four months pregnant…"

"It doesn't matter. Your getting married and your having a baby. You can't be anymore beautiful." Kate tried to cheer her up.

"She's right." Sun assured her.

"Thanks you guys." Claire smiled wrapping her arms around both of them.

"Now it's your turns." Claire announced pulling away.

She walked over and picked up two pale yellow silk dressed. Turning around she got a huge smile on her face as she handed the two their dresses.

"Go and try them on."

On the other side of the wall the boys were trying on their tuxes. His best man Jack, Hurley his groomsman, Locke who was going to walk Claire down the isle, and little Christopher who was just there, joined Charlie.

"We all look smashing." Charlie laughed looking to all of them.

"Smashing?' Hurley questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah it's like handsome, but British."

"Dude you guys have some weird words."

"Well I'm so sorry I'm not American." Charlie growled as he headed towards Hurley.

"Hey." Jack exclaimed walking between them.

They both looked to Jack and then to each other.

"Sorry." Charlie sighed.

"It's ok dude. I'm sorry too." Hurley smiled.

"Friends?" Charlie questioned putting his arms out for a hug.

"Friends." Hurley replied picking him up.

As he sat Charlie back on the floor he realized something was missing.

"Where's Christopher?"

"Right here." Locke exclaimed walking in.

He had Christopher in his arms all dressed up in a suit and tie. Seeing him Charlie was at a loss for words.

"He's so…."

"Handsome." Hurley inputted finishing his sentence.

"Yeah." Charlie said taking the boy in his arms.

"Look at his little suit. I didn't know they made suits this small."

Their moment was broken when they heard the girls having a moment of their own. Their squeals and giggles could be heard through the wall.

"Sounds like they're having fun." Jack laughed.

"Too much fun." Charlie remarked heading for the door.

He wanted to see what was going on. As soon as he opened the door Jack caught it. Preventing him from seeing anything.

"What the hell are you doing?" Charlie questioned.

"If Claire's in her wedding dress you're not allowed to see her."

"Fine." Charlie huffed.

Charlie turned away and Jack opened the door. He stuck his head out and looked down the hall. Before he could see anything Charlie was pulling him back in.

"Kate could be wearing her bridesmaid dress and you're not allowed to see." He snickered.

"Who the hell made up that rule?" Jack questioned.

"I don't know about you two, but I ain't ever heard any rule about the groomsmen taking a peak." Hurley announced racing for the door.

As soon as he opened it the other two were right behind them rules or not. Peaking their heads out the door they came to see a sight they had never seen.

The three girls all dressed up and twirling around the room. The three men stood silent watching them.

Claire in her wedding dress amazed Charlie. His eyes went wide and followed her every move as she danced around. The sunlight coming from the window hit her body in all three right places. Accenting her best features and truly highlighting her growing stomach.

Jack saw Claire, but instantly turned to Kate. He was in aw of how beautiful she was in her pale yellow dress. She didn't dance like Claire, but her face was lit up as she giggled at the other's antics. He had never seen her in a dress before and was glad this was his first time.

Hurley didn't focus on one of them. He watched all three. Smiling to himself. Still he didn't have the thoughts of love in his head like the other two. He saw more of the beauty of course. They were like sisters to him and he wasn't going to think about them in a different way.

"Well…." Charlie sighed pulling away from the sight.

"I think I have had enough for one day." He said turning back into the room completely in a daze

"Yeah lets go pay for these." Hurley suggested pulling away next.

Jack stayed for a moment watching Kate. She looked so beautiful in that moment. But the moment was broken as Claire saw him and quickly closed the door. Snapping from his daze he heard Charlie calling him back into the room.

All were ready to go. The guys walked out of their room the moment the girls did. Claire went after Charlie as they headed to the clerk to pay for the dresses and tuxes. Sun followed Locke and Hurley down the hall. Hurley commenting her and making her blush the whole way.

When Jack came out he stopped. Glancing down towards the girl's fitting room he saw Kate. Alone. She was gathering her things. Maybe this was a time to go and talk to her. Get the guts up to ask her out. He had been practicing what to say the whole week knowing they'd see each other that day.

Following her with his eyes he questioned himself again.

Was it the right thing to do?

He didn't have an answer for that question. But what better way to find out then to try. With a deep breath he began down the hall.

Kate gathered her things reading to leave. She didn't have to go into work that day so she was going to go home and sleep the rest of the day away. Cleaning up everything she didn't notice she was being watched until she walked past the mirror and saw him. Surprised for a moment she turned around to see him standing in the doorway.

"Jack?" She questioned.

He simply smiled.

"You looked beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you.' She blushed turning away.

Coming into the room he walked over and began to help her. She glanced up and caught his eyes. The look between the two was electric. So intense that they had to look away.

"So…."

Kate was trying to make conversation, but it appeared to be too hard. She couldn't think of anything to say to him. The silence after her words began awkward.

"Did you guys umm…have fun playing dress up?' She asked trying to think of something to say.

Jack knew that wasn't what she wanted to say.

"Yeah." He replied going along with her attempt.

"That's good."

It became silent. This time it wasn't one of those enjoyed silences between the two of them. It was odd. They both wanted to say something, but couldn't find the courage or words. It had never been this hard to talk to one another.

Kate walked away from him and hung a hanger up in the small closet. Walking back past him his hand came up to her arm to stop her.

"Kate…" He called.

She slowly turned around hearing the odd tone of his voice. She had never heard it before.

"Yeah?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Ok." She said urging him to continue.

Swallowing hard he prepared to spill his guts. He started off looking towards the ground.

"I was wondering if…there could be something between us?" He asked in a soft tone as his eyes came up to meet her in a timid stare.

Her eyes became wide with his question. What did he mean? She knew what he meant she just needed to know if he was serious. Is she wasn't just hearing these words for her own good.

"Between us how?"

Jack never thought it would be this hard. He had so many thoughts going through his head. All telling him to say those or that, but he could only listen to one of them.

"Like a relationship."

She had no idea what to say. This is was she wanted wasn't it? She wanted to be with Jack. All these times she had questioned if he felt the same and now she knew. But oddly enough she couldn't make up her mind.

"Jack…I don't-"

He wasn't going to take no for an answer. Actually he just didn't want to. He had built up this strength to ask her and he didn't want it to be for nothing. He didn't want to be rejected.

"Kate I'm just saying we could tr-"

"No Jack." She whispered closing her eyes.

She couldn't do it. No matter how much she tried to tear down every wall she built they weren't all going to come down in that instant. She couldn't let him in right then.

He froze. Her words fell upon him like a ton of bricks. He didn't know what to do or say.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't let you in."

"I've tried Jack, but I'm just not ready." She began to explain.

She had no idea why she was saying this. Why she was telling him this. It was breaking his heart. Why couldn't she have just turned away? Cause that would have hurt him more then a lame explanation.

"I've been hurt too many time-"

"I won't hurt you." He exclaimed as he held back oncoming tears.

"You don't know that Jack. None of them did. They all said the same thing."

"Do you think I haven't been hurt too? I just got divorced from my wife." He said trying to justify with her.

"I know that Jack, but that's not the same kind of hurt. You felt free after that." She said sniffing back tears as she turned away from him.

"Kate…" He said trying to turn her back to him.

"I have to go." She whispered pulling away from him.

He let go of her and stood still as he watched her. Watched her pick up her things and head out the door. He could hear her hears she tired to hide as she walked out of the room leaving him there in confusion.

That wasn't how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to say yes. Or at least that was what he wanted her to say. Instead he was again rejected like he had feared.

"Dammit!" He yelled slamming his fist into the wall.


	5. Fighting for Happy Moments

_I'm back! WOOHOOOOO! ...anyways, I spent the last few days working on this chapter. I'm really worried about how i wrote and came across it. I really hope you guys like it! Enjoy!_

**Fights for Happy Moments**

Kate ditched the ride with Claire and Charlie. Since she didn't have a car she took the bus. She wanted to be alone and away from the others. This was none of their business and she didn't want them having any part of it.

She sat in the back of the bus in the last seat. Her head turned from the other people as she sobbed thinking of Jack's words.

"I was wondering if there could be something between us?"

"I won't hurt you."

It wasn't fact of him hurting her. It was her hurting him. She had never had luck with men. She had always screwed something up. She ran from Ryan. Too scared of her own feelings. With Jason there was no love only deception. She just wanted to use him. Then there was Tom. The only man she loved unconditionally with nothing in return. She ruined that by running and then his murder.

Thoughts of Tom brought on more tears. This was the first time in a long while she had thought about him. Her mind was so preoccupied with the hearings, finding a job, and supporting Jack that she never had time to let her self fall again. And that was just what she was doing. She was falling.

Thinking more about it she really didn't know why she was crying. Of course she was upset, but why? Jack asked her out and she turned him down. It wasn't hurting her. It was more hurting him, which is the whole reason why she denied him. She had done what she swore not to do.

That thought and feeling sent her into uncontrollable sobs. She tried her best to stop or cover it up but she couldn't. Soon looks were passed her way causing her to hide her face. A slight tap on her shoulder sent her upright in an instant. She looked over through her tears to see a small woman sitting beside her. Worry written all over her wrinkled face.

"Are you ok sweetheart?"

Kate froze wondering why this woman even cared. She was some crazy girl in the back of the bus crying.

"Yeah." Kate assured her sniffing back her tears.

"Are you sure?"

Kate nodded her head wiping her hand across her face.

"Well whatever he did he's not worth it." The woman smiled.

Not even the woman's lighthearted smile could convince her. It wasn't what he had done. It was what she had done. The things in her past that haunted her ever step and waking breath. The things that brought them together and drew them apart on the island. And now she was breaking his heart.

Jack was worth it. He was worth everything and she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve to be happy with him. If they could ever be happy. That was an emotion she'd never truly feel again.

Making it home, Kate was completely exhausted. She wondered into her room and instantly collapsed on her bed. Rolling over atop her pillow she fell drowsiness come over her. She wondered if she would get sleep that night. All that had happened clouded her judgment and thought.

She lay perfectly still staring at the wall wondering where'd she be if she had said yes. Would she be out at to dinner at some fancy restaurant or lying in his arms? She missed the comfort of his arms. She missed his presence when it was no farther then an arm away. This is what she had chosen. To not let herself get involved. But was it really what she wanted?

Before she could clear her mind of any thought to answer her own questions her eyes drifted close sending her into an instant sleep.

Her eyes shot open with a sound. She jumped up at the sound of pounding. She sat against her bed for a moment wondering what it was. Was it her head or the door? It came again and she realized it was the door. Throwing her covers off her body she slid over the side of the bed. As her feet came to the floor she jumped back hearing her named shouted as the pounding came again.

Someone was at the door and seriously wanted her attention. They had gotten it. As she wondered down the hall closer to her door she was slow and cautious. She didn't know the voice. It didn't sound familiar at all.

"KATE OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Hearing the violent command she became scared. Stopping at the edge of the hallway she searched around for some sort of protection. Looking behind the door she saw the fire extinguisher. Tiptoeing across the room she slowly pulled it off the wall.

The minute it was in her hand the person pounded again screaming for her to open the door. With a deep breath she clutched the doorknob and prepared to open it. As the latch clicked back the person on the other side came rushing through sending Kate back against the wall.

She looked up bewildered to see a cop standing in front of her with a gun pointed at her. Suddenly she became confused. She had no idea what was going on.

"Kate your under arrest."

"Wh…what? I was cleared." Kate stuttered as tears came to her eyes.

"Thought you could get away so easy? Crashing a plane so you could start a new life and make new friends. Running ain't going to help you now Katie."

"I didn't crash the plane. What are you talking about?" Kate questioned.

"Get up!" He ordered pointing the gun inches from her face.

Kate was hesitant. She had no idea why this man was saying she crashed the plane. She was cuffed to the seat during the flight. How could she have crashed a huge jet plane? It was ludicrous to think she did it. She had no idea how it crashed and neither did anyone else.

"Now!" He ordered grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to her feet.

She stumbled with the weight of the extinguisher in her hand. Then she realized she had a weapon. She had a chance to get away. Where would she go though? It didn't matter. All that mattered was she wasn't going to go back to jail. Not this time.

With the flex of her arm she put all her weight into hitting him hard in the nose. The man flew back in pain sending him to the floor. As he covered his face with his hands Kate was free and she took the opportunity.

Fleeing out the door she ran as fast as she could down the hallway. Looking over her shoulder she saw no one behind her. She was in the clear till she bumped into another body. Both nearly fell down the stair till the man caught her in his arms. She was done for.

"Kate?"

Her heart stopped at the voice. Slowly she turned her head and looked up to see Jack.

"Jack!" She exclaimed in a shocked whisper.

He said nothing as he helped her to her feet. His eyes wondered down the hall toward her apartment.

"Why are you running?"

That was the dumbest question he could have asked her. Why was she always running? Since Ethan was dead and there were no polar bears in LA the only obvious answer was her past.

"I need your car."

"What? Why?" He questioned.

"No time to explain." She told him glancing back down the hallway.

When her eyes turned back to his she saw the intense question in his eyes. A question she didn't even know if she had the answer to.

"Now!' She yelled grabbing his arm and leading him down the stairs.

He led her out the parking garage where his car was parked. He walked up to a silver BMW and stopped at the driver door. She went for the handle, but was stopped by his hand. Her eyes slowly wondered up to him.

"Tell me why you're running."

"I can't." She whispered standing up strait.

"Let me help you." He begged.

"No." She replied struggling with him.

He took control and stood in front of the door. Kate seemed to give up as she stood back.

"Let me in the car Jack!" She breathed.

"No! Not till you tell me…." He began to plead.

"Don't make me hurt you Jack."

"You can't hurt me." He challenged.

She was taken back by this.

"You don't know what I'm capable of." She warned.

"Yes I do."

She took a deep breath realized this was going to go nowhere without force. She didn't want it to come to that, but if she had to she would.

"Jack please."

"No."

With his answer she clenched up her fist and readied herself. Without a second thought she swung at Jack hitting his hard it the jaw. He lost his stance and stumbled to the ground. With a free shot Kate lunged for the door. Opening it she got in and slammed the door before Jack could recover.

Franticly looking around for the keys she realized he had them and probably wouldn't give them to her. She'd have to go the hard way and hot wire. Taking a pocketknife Jack had oddly laying in plain sight she stabbed it into the dashboard. Pulling back she cracked the frame and began to pull it apart.

As soon as she got it all uncovered the passenger door opened. Looking over she felt somewhat relieved that it was Jack. She stopped and watched him as he slid in, sat down, and closed the door. Glancing away she pulled out the necessary wired and went to work.

"What are you doing?' He asked in an odd calming voice.

"Hotwiring."

"Where did you learn to hotwire cars?"

"When you're on the run you pick up a couple things. Now be quiet so I can remember how to do this." She barked.

A jingling sound caught her attention. Turning her head she looked over to see him dangling his keys in front of her. He was taunting her. Looking up to him she saw no trickery in his eyes. He seemed to be offering them to her freely. But she wasn't sure. Maybe she should have tested the waters. She didn't have time for that. She plunged in headfirst.

Grabbing for the keys he let then slip through his fingers and land in hers. With no second thought she put them in and started it up. Pulling out she looked behind and around her for any followers of office gun happy.

She slowly made her way down the levels. As she came to the exit she stopped the car. Eyeing the outside world she took a deep breath.

"Kate please don't run." He begged again.

She didn't look to him.

"Get out of the car Jack."

"No." He refused.

Gripping the steering wheel she revved the engine. She was ready to make her escape with Jack or not.

Before she could take off two police cars came racing to the entrance blocking her way out. Loosening her grip she watched in fear as they got out and drew their guns. This was how it happened before. This was how Tom died. Now Jack was in the passenger seat. She wasn't going to let it happen to Jack.

"Jack get out now!" She ordered staring down the cops as they yelled for her to step out.

"No." He said again.

Slowly looking away from the cops she saw Tom's murder flash before her eyes. In an instant she passed the cops as they shot at her killing Tom. Looking over Jack reappeared. She wasn't going to let it happen again. And Jack obvious wasn't going to get out of the car.

"Then duck!" She yelled as she slammed her foot on the gas, heading strait for the cops.

As the guns fired Kate pushed Jack down in his seat as she tried to maneuver the car and protect herself. Jumping the car over and past the cops she was on open road again. Speeding up as fast as she can she thought that maybe she had made it. Then she remembered how this had happened last time.

Taking a deep breath she looked over to Jack seeing him huddled in the seat not moving. Her heart stopped. Looking between the road and Jack she reached her hand out.

"Jack?" She questioned in worry.

He slowly sat up with his eyes looking around for safety. Seeing him sit up sent joy through her.

"Thank god your all right." She laughed looking back to the road.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked with obvious fear.

Kate didn't answer. She was quickly caught by a figure slowly walking along the street it was so oddly familiar. He was tall and lean wearing a dirty button up black shirt. His hair was an unrecognizable color. Oddly to her own power she slowed down to see who it was. As he passed the car he smiled the widest grin. Kate's eyes went wide as her heart sank to her stomach. There was no way.

"Sawyer." She whispered.

In the instant she realized who it was gunshots riddled through the windshield. Turning her attention back she saw a huge blockade in front of her. Her eyes glanced from side to side looking for another way out. A small opening to her left screamed for her.

Building up all her guts once again she pressed on the gas going up to full speed. As she neared the blockade more gunshots were fired. Lowering her head enough to maybe get grazed she steered her way around them.

Slamming in between two cars she quickly took down three men. Rushing past she looked back to see what attempts they were making to follow her. That was an instant mistake. She was jerked back and forth as the car came to a quick stop.

Opening her eyes she felt pain across her head. Looking through the window all she saw was gray concrete. She had hit the wall. It was only going to be a matter of seconds before they came rushing up with guns.

Sitting up she tried to gather herself. What had she done the last time? Her breath was caught in an instant thinking about the last time. Suddenly she remembered Jack. Closing her eyes she dwelled into deep prayer. Begging God to let him be ok.

Opening her eyes God had let her down once again.

Jack was hunched over the dashboard with his head inches from the glass. His face wasn't visible, but she didn't need to see it for her to know it wasn't good.

Scooting over she grabbed his shoulders. Slowly and gently she pulled him back so he was sitting in the seat. Seeing his face she quickly let go of him as her hands came to her mouth. He was almost unrecognizable. His face covered in blood from wounds on his head, lips, and chin. Seeing him she didn't know what to do. All she could do was hope he was alive.

Leaning in to look him over all she pushed herself to believe he was just knocked out. That he was ok. That hope was quickly shredded when she didn't hear or feel his warm breath on her skin. Tears welled up in her eyes trying to think of what to do. The truth was she didn't know. She wasn't the doctor he was.

Lightly touching his face she examined his cuts. They weren't extremely bad, but they weren't good. Suddenly she heard the sirens of the police cars speeding up to the crash. Looking up from Jack she saw them stopping only feet away from the car.

"Jack." She called running her finger over his lips hoping her touch would give him breath.

There was no breath.

"Please wake up!" She demanded shaking his shoulder lightly.

He didn't wake.

"God dammit Jack you know I don't know CPR!" She screamed again touch his lips with vigor.

Again no breath and no movement. Still she wasn't going to give up hope. He had to be alive. She didn't care anymore about her freedom. He was her priority now.

"Please." She cried leaning her forehead into his lips.

She repeated her plea over and over again as her hands slinked down his face and neck to rest loosely upon his chest. When her fingertips came to the shirts material she pulled back in horror. Raising her hand she saw blood dripping down her fingers. She began to shake, as her eyes became unfocused and darted to Jack's chest.

She stared at a pool of blood his shirt that wasn't doing a good of job of soaking up. Quickly she grabbed hold of his collar and ripped the shirt in two. Seeing her demise she gripped the sides of his torn shirt tightly in her hands. He had been shot right above the heart. Just like Tom.

"No." She whispered.

"No."

"No."

"NO!" She yelled falling into his chest.

The tears she held back came out in an instant. She had killed him like she had killed Tom. She took his life into her sad piteous hands and did what she wanted. She had taken his life from him. Not just then, but from the moment she walked up to him that fateful day in the jungle. She shouldn't have sewed him up. She should have turned and left him there. Left him to survive on his own the way she always did. She shouldn't have let him in.

Soon their yells and commands surrounded the car as she wept into Jack's chest. She didn't listen. She just sat there crying and pleading to Jack that she was sorry. But he couldn't answer her. He couldn't forgive her. He was gone and she knew that. Deep down in her pity and sorrow she knew she had lost Jack.

As the door opened behind her their yells came louder and more forceful. They could have beaten her, but she wouldn't let go of him. She wasn't going to give up as easily as she did with Tom. She wasn't going to run from his death. She was trying to confront it the best she could. But now all she could was cry.

They gripped her leg and tried to pull her free from Jack. She wouldn't budge. She hung onto him the best she could. But her best wasn't good enough. They turned her around. As her face was turned upright it was turned with a quick painful thrust upon her cheek as they hit her. Grabbing her cheek with her free hand she tired to look back, but was stuck again with such force as she saw was a white light.

Her eyes shot open to darkness. Her breath was short and panicked.

Where was she?

Her eyes focused in the darkness. Slowly she made out the ceiling above her. Still she was scared and had no idea where she was.

Was this jail?

Or could it be hell?

Questioning her own existence she slowly sat up. Expecting pain, she felt relieved that there was none. She remembered being hit in the face and seeing the white light, but there was no pain.

Had she been out that long?

The moment she glanced around the room it all became clear. This was her room not a jail cell. It made no since. Looking down she saw she wore the same clothes she had when fell asleep. Dwelling upon it she didn't really remember falling asleep. The more and more it all came together she realized it had all been a dream. A dream that was too realistic for her to pass off as nothing.

It seemed so real. The fear of being arrested again. Right down to Jack dying. Focusing on that instance she put herself back in that position. Jack lying there in front of her. Breathless. Not moving. It was the most scared she had ever felt. And it was dream.

Taking a deep breath she calmed herself as she still thought about it. Slowly she slinked back down in her bed under the covers. Rolling onto her side she stared at the wall picturing him dying in her arms. In that moment she realized without him she felt alone.

Kate tried her best to move past her dream and regretful feelings of turning Jack down. She didn't like the way she was making herself feel. Most of all she hated thinking about how she was making Jack feel. Still with that looming in the back of her mind she pressed on. She had a wedding in a week and she was going to do her best to life her life.

It wasn't as easy for Jack. He couldn't look past it. Her words plagued him. He thought almost every moment about what it would have been like if she had said yes. But that wasn't the case. She said no. No to the hope that maybe they could be happy for once. Together. Obviously it wasn't meant to happen. He wasn't meant for that happiness.

Still he tried his best to move past it and let bygones be bygones. This was how it was supposed to be. Once they were off the island they were supposed to go their separate ways. Some moments he questioned why he was letting himself think this way. He had never believed in fate before. Why was he now? He had no answer to that question or any he was asking himself. All he knew was that he wished she had said yes.

Kate walked through the chapel with Christopher in her arms. She was rushing around trying to get everything together in time. It soon came to the boiling point. She was stressing out. Not necessarily over the wedding. More so over a possible run in with Jack.

When she woke up that morning she promised herself she'd put her game face on and head out with her head held high. But the day was getting the best off her. Her head couldn't take it anymore.

"You have the flowers all set up right?" She questioned adjusting Christopher on her hip.

"Well they are coming I shortly. You see….." The man began to explained.

Kate's attention suddenly became caught seeing Jack walk down the hall. Coming to a mirror he stopped and adjusted his tie. Just the mere sight of him caught up her breath and thought. She hoped he wouldn't have seen her that day. Trying to avoid him all day wasn't going to work and she knew that. They had to walk down the isle together. What was going to do? Run away?

It was a thought that passed across her mind. It sank in even more as he turned and spotted her. With no words or break of the glance he headed towards her.

"They'll be here in the hou-"

"Thank you. Just make sure they're here." Kate demanded the man as she glanced over his shoulder watching Jack.

The man gave her a disgusted look realizing she heard not a word her said. As he walked away she became in full view to Jack. A thousand choices ran through her mind, but only one stuck out.

Quickly she turned and began for the dressing room. The instant she thought maybe she was in the clear she felt his arm upon her's. He had her.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?" She asked slowly turning around.

"Can we talk?" He asked.

She didn't want to talk and he knew it.

"I can't I have to go take Christopher and then get the flow-"

"Please." He begged.

She couldn't say no. The word wouldn't form on her lips and she couldn't moved her head in the direction she wanted. She gave in.

"Sure." She whispered nodding her head.

Letting go of her arm he placed it lightly on her back as he led her down the hallway to a quiet place. The whole time he walked behind her he played her rejection over and over in his mind. He swore he wouldn't let it end like that again. He hated how they were avoiding each other. Still he knew it was enviable, but he had to try his best to make things right.

"Kate I am so sorry about the other day."

"It's ok." She smiled weakly swallowing her tears.

"No it's not. The way I came on and left things was wrong. I don't know what I was thinking." He continued.

She began to get sick to her stomach knowing he was blaming himself for all of this. It wasn't his fault. She said no. She was the one with the problem. Not him.

"Jack-"

"No let me finish. I know what you've been through. Well not exactly. But I know you've been through a lot and a lot of people hurt you. And I am sorry and wish I could take back all the horrible things that happened to you, but I can't and I know that…"

"You can't let what they did ruin your life."

"It isn't that at all." She whispered looking up to him with tears rolling down her cheeks.

He looked to her for continuance. If he had it all wrong he wanted to know the real reason. The reason why she couldn't let him in.

"So much has happened to us. Together and apart. There is so much that we went though together. Trying to survive. Yet it doesn't even compare to the life we had before us trying to survive alone. That's what separates us Jack."

"But you can't let the people who hurt you before make you stop from trying no-"

"I'm not afraid of being hurt!' She cried.

He stepped back with her words. She had just changed her whole reasoning in a second without thought. It made him wonder.

"I am afraid of hurting you…" She began looking away trying to gather her thoughts.

"I'm not who you're supposed to be with Jack. I'm a criminal for Christ sake. Criminals aren't supposed to be with heroes or doctors."

He blinked away his own tears as he leaned in close to her. He couldn't believe she thought this way about herself. He almost couldn't take it. He wanted to make her forget about all of it, but he knew he couldn't. She had to do it on her own.

"You can't hurt me." He whispered.

She closed her eyes with his words. Images of her dream flashed before her. He sounded just as he had in her dream. For a minute she believed him. Then she remembered how the dream ended. Her laying in his chest sobbing over his death. She couldn't bear the thought. She couldn't bear to think these were the same words Tom had said to her. She ended up hurting him. Taking his life. That wasn't a dream. It was the reality she saw every day.

"You don't know that Jack." She said looking up to him.

He took as deep breath looking away. In a sense he felt she was selfish. He realized and understood she wanted to get over things in her past, but she wasn't even trying. She wouldn't even let him try and help her. And he couldn't wait around forever for her to decide when she wanted to move on. He had no other choice in that moment. He had to walk away.

"If this is how you want it to be Kate…." His eyes danced with fury as he looked down to her.

"Then I'm just going to let you be."

As his last word left his mouth he turned and walked away. Leaving her sand in the shadows of the hallway holding Christopher. She said nothing as she watched him walk down the hallway. Out of her sight and maybe out of her life.

She had no emotion. She stood against the wall in silence as she looked into the space in front of her in a daze.

Did he mean it?

She didn't know anymore. There was finally no answer in her head. Only questions. Sniffing back her tears she gripped Christopher as she pushed off the wall. Holding him close as he became fussy she walked in a daze like state. Past everyone and everything in the world around. She had no feeling in that moment. No more tears to shed. It was if she had no remorse for his words.

Walking into the dressing room she snapped out of it for an instant as she walked up to Claire. Standing the mirror in her beautiful dress. It almost made her cry to see at least one person happy. Handing Christopher to her she flashed her a weak smile as she headed on. Turning from her she slipped back into her emotionless daze.

Sun looked to Claire and Claire to her. They had seen the drying tears upon her face. Something was wrong. Both turned to Kate watching her head into the backroom and close the door silently behind. No explanation.

"Was she crying?" Claire asked.

"I don't know."

Both looked back to the closed door waiting fro Kate reappear and explain everything. That was a highly unlikely possibility and they knew that. Kate never spilled her guts to them. She only talked to Jack.

"I'll go talk to he-"

"You know she won't tell us anything. Go get Jack." Sun suggested.

Walking over Claire handed the baby to Sun.

"No. I have a feeling it's about Jack…" Claire sighed as she turned and headed for the back room.

Kate lay huddled on the plush red couch sitting in the corner of the room. She didn't cry. She only sulked. Thanking about what she had done. If she ever doubted it being her fault at first she was totally reassured now.

There was a knock at the door that sent Kate up strait.

"Kate?" Claire's voice called.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Kate replied fixing her self up to try and pass off as "ok".

Opening the door Claire gave her a warm hearted smile as she walked in. Closing it behind her she walked over and sat across from Kate in silence hoping she would start first.

Kate didn't want to talk. She never liked telling other people her problems. If it wasn't their business they shouldn't care. She could always deal with it.

"You look beautiful." Kate smiled breaking the tension.

"Thanks."

Kate fell silent again as she played with her dress. She began to feel awkward under Claire's stare.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" Claire asked tucking a piece of hair behind Kate's ear.

"Yeah fine." She lied.

"Why?"

Claire could see the unwillingness in her eyes. Anyone could. She didn't want to let someone know she was vulnerable. The only one who had ever got her to open up or even get close was Jack.

"Well you looked like you were crying when you came in." Claire pointed out.

"Oh I was?" Kate asked wiping away her missed tears.

Claire's face fell seeing how she attempted to pass it off. She really didn't want to talk about it and she was fighting hard to keep it that way.

"You know if you have anything you want to talk ab-"

"Claire I'm fine. Please don't worry about me on your big day." Kate tried to assured her.

"You're fine? Honestly?" Claire asked hoping if she pushed one last time she'd give in.

It wasn't that easy.

"Yes. Honestly." Kate assured her once more with a fake smile upon her lips.

As Claire stood up she stared at her in an odd way. Looking her over. Making sure of something in her head.

"Well ok then…"

"Just don't be in here too long. I need you to lead me down the isle in about an hour." Claire joked as she turned.

"I won't."

Claire opened the door and headed out. As the door closed in front of her, Kate slowly fell back to couch to sulk again. As her head hit the velvet material all her hidden tears came out.

Everyone entered the chapel and the wedding party lined up in front of the sanctuary. Claire fiddled with her wedding dress nervously. Sun helped with some kind words before Hurley led her up to the front behind Liam's daughter Megan who was the flower girl.

Claire was more nervous then she thought she'd be. Kate was nowhere to be seen. She had less then two minuets before the doors opened and she walked down the isle. She wasn't about to do it without Kate.

Claire quickly felt better as Liam's wife came walking up. She had been sent to go find Kate.

"You find her?" Claire asked.

"No." She answered.

"No one has seen her." She continued.

"I just saw her." Claire sighed.

"Who?" Jack asked as he walked up.

Claire nearly jumped hearing his voice. Slowly she turned to him.

"Kate."

"Kate? She's missing?" Jack questioned.

He had worry running through his mind.

"Not missing. We just can't find her."

With Claire's words he knew he had to be the cause of this. If he wouldn't had been so harsh with her she'd probably be standing there with them. Instead of running off to hide.

"I'll go and find he-"

"Find who?" Kate's voice questioned behind them.

All of them turned to see her walking up with blank curiosity on her face. It worried Jack, but relieved the others. It relieved Claire more to see she had her bouquet in her hands.

"Where have you been?" Claire questioned instantly taking the flowers from her.

"I had to freshen up. What were you worried I wouldn't show?"

'Yes." Claire breathed.

"I told you I'd be here." Kate smiled reassuring her.

That smile soon disappeared as Kate walked up to Jack. She felt instantly weak under his intense gazer. It pierced her through the heart with a million questions.

"You ready?" Jack asked extending his arm out.

Kate was hesitant. She didn't know how to react around him now.

"I can get some one else to do it if you don't want me to."

His words hurt her deeply. Just because she didn't want to let him in didn't mean she didn't want him around.

"I want you to." She whispered slipping her arm through his.

A smile grew over his face as he patted her hand. Maybe it was all going to be ok. Then again something always happened. But for that moment he wasn't going to let it happen. That moment they were happy with each other and he wasn't going to ruin it.

Looking away from each other they both took deep breaths. Quickly turning around Kate gave Claire a wink and a smile before turning back. As the doors opened they began their walk down the isle.

That seemed to be the longest walk of their lives. At least it was for Kate. After what had happened that moment and what Claire had said, Jack walking her down the isle got to her. She really didn't know why, but it was.

Looking up as she held back her tears. The altar seemed so far way. Charlie and the minister looked so small to her, yet they were so close. Coming up to him she was caught by his eager smile. It caused her to burst out into laughter filled coated with tears.

Her breath again was caught as Jack took her hand out from under his arm. Holding onto it he brought her in front of him so he could walk her over to Sun. He stopped seeing her tears.

"Are you ok?"

"It's just the overwhelming since of the wedding." She smiled wiping her tears.

He gave her a smile as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Before he turned and joined Charlie he gave her a reassuring wink. Watching him she saw his own tears rolling down his cheek. She had to smile at his sad attempt to hide it as she turned from her and came to Charlie's side.

All attention was caught as the music began and the doors opened again. All eyes quickly lit up as Claire began down the isle. There were breathless aw-s as everyone watched her walk. Kate thought she had been crying before hand. Seeing her best friend as beautiful as she could be on probably her happiest day sent her into uncontrollable sobs.

Wiping her tears away she remembered Jack and looked over to see if he too was crying. When she looked over she caught his glance before he quickly turned it back to Claire. There were obvious tears rolling down his cheeks. She had to smile again at his attempt. His attempt to pretend he wasn't looking.

Looking away Kate saw Charlie. She saw him in a way she had never seen before. He couldn't stop his tears as he wiped them away. With his tears his face was lit up with a smile from ear to ear. This was the happiest she had ever seen him. Besides the time Claire wondered back into their lives. She felt right knowing everyone in that room was happy.

When Claire approached them it took every fiber in Charlie's being to not take him in his arms. She flashed him a pleasing smile as she turned to hand Kate her flowers. As Kate took them she encouraged her with a smile before she turned back and faced Charlie.

"We are gathered her today to join these two souls."

"The souls that have faced so much to be together today."

The minister turned to Charlie.

"Charlie you have chosen to convert to be with this woman you love."

Charlie turned and started at Claire as he smiled.

"I have."

Jack stepped up with his words as Charlie prepared to speak his vows. Handing Charlie the ring he patted him on the back before he stepped back. As he did he looked up to see Kate staring at him long and hard. Studying him rather.

Holding the ring in his hand Charlie took Claire's. It shook within his as she began to cry over her smile.

"I Charlie take thee Claire to love and honor for the rest of eternity…" He began sniffing back tears.

"Through no matter what life or fate hurls at us. You are my light. My love. And the mother of my children and I can't live without you."

Holding himself back from a breakdown he took the ring. Slowly with a smile he slid it onto her finger.

"And Claire…" The minister began turning now to her.

"You have chosen to honor Charlie with your life."

"I have." Claire whimpered with a laugh.

As did Jack, Kate took her cue and handed Claire a ring. With a smile and a thank you Claire turned back to Charlie. Taking her place again Kate felt Sun's hand on her shoulder causing her to look back. She stood with a smile that warmed Kate's heart to the soul. Raising her hand she rested it upon Sun's as she looked back to the happy couple.

"I Claire take thee Charlie to love and live with until forever is over. You saved me in every way a person can be saved. You have given me hope, serenity, and a life that we shall share."

"I love you more then you will every know. You are my life." With her last words Charlie was lost. He couldn't even hold his hand in hers he was such a mess.

Taking his hand again with a smile and laughter she slid the ring upon his finger. With the union all turned to the minister for the final words. With huge smiles upon their faces, Claire and Charlie waited for their first kiss.

"And now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

With no hesitation they took each other in their arms and met at the lips. Joining in a loving and memorable kiss that sent chills through every person.

As they pulled apart everyone stood clapping.

"I loved you." Charlie smiled.

"I know." Claire laughed.

Grasping each other's hands they started down the isle. Kate walked over and picked Christopher up from Liam. Taking him in her arms she turned around to see Jack waiting for her with his arm extended. This time she took his arm without words. Pulling her close to him he looked down to her with a smile as they followed the newlyweds down the isle.

The reception was held out on the back patio of the chapel. It was beautifully decorated with lights strung the through the trees in the garden. Tables were scattered around the dance floor, which at the end of it had the long table where the wedding party sat.

Once the newlyweds entered the party started. People started dancing and letting themselves go. Some ate as they watched the others danced. Some wondered around talking. Others just sat and enjoyed the scenery.

Everyone expected Claire and Charlie to sit at their table and enjoy each other, but they were instantly thrown into the party. They ran around talking to everyone. Steeling kisses and glances across the room when they were separated. They truly were happy. Happier then anyone had seen a couple.

Kate had broken away from Jack. Still carrying Christopher she came to her seat at the head table. Looking around she seemed to be the only one sitting there. She really didn't mind. She had had all the excitement she could handle. Still being content, someone had to insist she have fun.

"Hello there Kate." Liam called walking up to Kate.

Kate looked up from Christopher bouncing on her knee to see Liam.

"Hey Liam." She smiled looking back to Christopher.

"You having fun being the only one sitting down?" He asked.

"Yeah looks that way doesn't it?" Kate sighed looking around seeing she was in fact the only one sitting down at the moment.

"I could take him if he's a bother."

"I'm good. Christopher's never a bother." Kate smiled.

"Come on I insist." Liam assured her.

"I'm good."

"Come on Kate you need to get up and have some fun." Liam tired to tell her.

She looked up to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Plus Megan is dying to play with her nephew."

Kate looked back to Christopher as if she was asking him what she should do. It wouldn't hurt, but then whom would she sit with?

"I guess." Kate said as she stood up.

"Lovely." Liam smiled taking the child from her arms.

"Now you need to go and have some fun." He said before walking away with Christopher.

"Fun…right?" Kate sighed in a low voice.

As if fate had heard her. She felt a tap on her shoulder. Swinging around she came to face Jack. He stood with a huge smile upon his face. A smile that confused her instantly.

"I was wondering if I could have this dance?"

Dance? She couldn't dance to save her life.

"I don't know how to." She smiled nervously.

He knew she was trying to cover up. He knew she didn't want to dance. But without a word he took her hand and began to pull her out onto the floor.

"Don't worry I don't either." He assured her.

She had no way out in that moment. The minute he took her hand and their feet hit the floor she was stuck.

Pulling her to him he placed his on his back and held her to him. She had no idea what to do. She didn't know how to stand. She felt uncomfortable for the first time in his arms. But he was of course there to the rescue. Taking her other hand he placed it on his shoulder as she stared up to him with trembling eyes. He knew question was swirling through her mind.

"You look beautiful Kate." He whispered as they began to move.

"You too. Especially when you're crying." She smiled.

"I wasn't crying."

"Yes you were. I saw you."

He looked away as he began to blush. She was right. She always caught him in a lie. It was easy for her. It was hard to do so to her. He didn't know the truth with her anymore.

It became silent between them as they danced. They didn't look to each other. Instead they looked away and around to the other people around them. They felt so awkward this close to each other. And they both knew it was because of the animosity between them.

"I'm sorry Kate."

Her eyes turned to him as he began his apology. She wanted to put in her own words, but thought it was best if she just listened.

"I am sorry what I said and how I acted. I just want to help you get ov-"

"Jack I don't need your help."

"I know that. But I hate to see that you punish yourself over what happened." He explained.

"I'm not punishing myself. I am trying to let it go. And it's harder then you think."

"I know it is Kate. I see how hard it is for you. I just wish you'd tell me so I'd know what you're going through so I don't make these mistakes."

She stared up at him with defiance. She didn't understand how he couldn't get over it all. It wasn't about him.

"This is how it always is Jack. Isn't it?" She began.

"First you don't want to know. Then you do. Then you don't. And now you do. Why can't you make up your mind?" She questioned.

"Kate…"

"I made up mine. I don't want to let you in. That is my decision and you can't change it." She breathed as she turned away.

Closing her eyes she tried again not to cry that day. But again it was too hard. He just didn't get it.

"Kate…"

She quickly turned to face him with tears and all.

"I can't do this." She cried as she pulled away.

He tried to pull her back, but she wanted away more. As their fingers left each other's touch she hurried off the floor and down the hall. He stood there for a moment wondering what to do. In a quick thought he headed after her.

Kate sat on a bench outside of the chapel. She felt good to be away from Jack, the wedding, and everything for that matter.

Opening her purse she pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Pulling one out she placed it in between her lips. With the flick of her thumb a flame from the lighter in her hand lit the cigarette. With a deep inhale she felt so much better.

This was her dirty little secret and she knew it. No one else knew. Maybe the people at her work, but none of the other survivors. They'd flip and she didn't really care. This was her small hit of freedom.

Taking another drag she lowered her hand to her side. Holding it in for the longest time she almost felt regret for letting the smoke escape her lips.

"Since when did you smoke?"

Without the cigarette that voice would have made her jump. Instead she really didn't care. Glancing over she looked up to Jack without care.

"Since I got off that hell hole and could get my hands on some." She snickered as she took another hit.

"It's not healthy." He said as he sat down next to her.

Turning she blew the smoke away from his face as she gave him a sinister smile.

"And I should care why?" She questioned.

"Kate don't do this to yourself." He begged her.

"Why do you care?"

"Cause I do." He said as he leaned closer to her.

"If you did. You wouldn't badger me every time you saw me."

He lowered her head with her hard blow. She was right. That was what he did every time he saw her.

"Kate I'm sorry."

"You've that so many times Jack. I don't know if I should believe it anymore."

"I know. This time I mean it. I hate seeing us like this." He tried to justify.

She looked over trying her best to listen to what he had to say.

"We used to be able to go to each other for anything. And now we can't look at each other without fighting."

"Can we put this all behind us?" He questioned.

He was being as honest as he could at that moment. He decided that if they couldn't be together he'd still like them to be at least friends again. It was too hard to have her angry with him.

"I can if you can let it go and quit trying to fix me."

"I will."

"You will?" She questioned.

"Only if you put that out and quit." He challenged.

Kate looked to the cigarette in her hand. She started at it for only a minute before she flicked it to the ground. If it was going to help her relationship with Jack she could do without it.

Looking back to him a smile was laid across his face. He was happy that she barely had to think about letting it go. Only he would have to the same with his questioning.

"Come here." He smiled taking her hand as he pulled her to him.

She immediately wrapped her arms around him and held him tight as he did the same. Again they felt right with each other and it had been along time since they felt that way.

"This is more like it.' Kate muffled into his neck.

All he could do was laugh as he held her in his arms.


	6. Back Together

_To answer your questions from the last chapter;_

_ - No they didn't get together as a couple. They just put everything behind thme ot be friends again._

_- No Jack isn't dead. The Wedding scene was a present event not a flashback. And sorry October Sky i'm not sending them to jail. Atleast not now:)_

_Anyways i speant alot of time on this chapter. I wanted it done on Saturday, but that proved impossible. This is also a long chapter. Alot of things happen and you might cry, so grab the tissues. Just a warning. I cried. :p As always I love your reviews and the fact the people actually read my nonsense! I hope you guys ENJOY!_  
**  
Back Together**

"Are you sure?" Jack questioned.

Kate nodded her head with a smile.

"Yes I'm sure. I don't need a ride home."

"You know it's right on the way."

"And you know it's only a block from here Jack." Kate pointed out.

With a sigh he backed down. He knew there was no winning with her.

"Ok." He smiled.

"Good." She whispered smiling at how easily he gave up.

"It's just hard to not worry after what you said Kate."

She knew it was too good to be true. He would do anything to change her mind.

"Well I haven't seen that guy in a while. Maybe he got the hint to stop following me when you started taking me home." Kate said shrugging her shoulders.

"Didn't you say he looked like some guy you met while you were on the run?"

"Kinda. I really didn't get a good look at him in the shadows he was hiding in." She smirked taking a sip of her juice.

She really didn't want to dwell on who she thought it was. She thought she'd never see that man again.

Jack's eyes wondered down to his watch as he did the same. Seeing the time he almost spit out the juice all over her.

"What?" She questioned seeing his shocked reaction.

"It's almost 7:30. I go on call soon."

"Oh…."

Clearing his mess he stood up as she came to her feet. Throwing away he cup she turned to him.

"Now are you sure about the ride home?' He asked one more time.

He had to smile as her hands came to her hips.

"Jack…."

"Ok. Ok." He gave up throwing his hands in the air.

"I'll be fine." She assured him.

"Plus you're on call. You can't exactly skip work to drive me a block to my apartment."

"I have my way around things." He joked.

"You're one of a kind Jack." She sighed shaking her head.

Taking her by the arm he wrapped his arm around her.

"A good kind?"

"No." She shot pushing him away playfully.

The two laughed at her cheap shot. Then again he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a hug. They held onto each other tight before pulling away.

"Be careful." He warned pointing his finger in his face.

Slapping his finger away she looked him close in the face.

"I will. Stop worrying."

He dropped his hand and gently touched her arm.

"I'll try." He sighed.

"Try harder." She exclaimed pushing his hand away playfully again.

"See ya."

"Bye Jack." She called as he turned and walked out the door of the bookstore.

Jogging out to his SUV he tried his best to cover himself from the rain. Getting in he started up and pulled out of the parking lot. Oddly he kept looking up into his rear view mirror to the bookstore. Thinking he could see her that far away. It came to the point that he didn't turn away till the lights of the sigh were a glow. He was worried about her. He didn't like her walking home at night in LA especially in the rain. There were things here that scared him more than the jungles of the island.

It was a long drive to the inner city. The whole way he battled himself over Kate's safety. He knew she was grown woman, but he couldn't help feeling worried. Then the anxiety of heading to work came into the picture. With both fighting for top billing in his mind he began to feel exhausted.

Pulling into his parking space at the hospital he turned off the engine. For the longest while he just sat there watching the rain trickle down the windshield. Staring up at the sign on the hospital gave him chills. For some reason it always did. Rubbing the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb he took a deep breath. With an exhale he got out of the car and headed in.

It was a long two hours before anything put Jack to work. He quickly rushed outside into the hallway towards the nurse's station. When they called him down he thought it was serious. It was paper work.

"This is it?" He questioned the nurse.

"Yes. Were you expecting something else?"

"Well it's been unusually slow tonight, so yeah."

"If anyone falls I'll call you first.' The nurse smiled sarcastically.

Jack didn't have the motivation to challenge her. He just picked up the papers and smiled the biggest smile he could. She stared at him with a raised brow confused by his smile. With a wink to top it off he turned away. Only to be quickly caught of guard by the emergency doors swinging open.

Walking over to the edge of the door to the waiting room he watched as a group of nurses and EMS techs came rushing in with someone on a stretcher. By the looks of it the person was a woman and she was beaten badly.

The nurses and techs rushed around looking for medicals supplies, a room, and a doctor. None of them had any qualifications to even be looking her over. Against the voice in his head he stepped up making himself known.

"Oh Dr. Sheppard." A nurse breathed seeing him.

"All the ER doctors are in surgery or they're off tonight. Could you take a look at this woman?" Cathy asked with frantic breath.

"Sure." Jack smiled as he watched them wheel the stretcher over to a corner examining area.

"She was found down on Sims knocked unconscious…" The woman began to explain quickly leading Jack over.

"There's obvious bruising to the head and face, her left leg is broken, along with her right hand. She's beaten pretty badly.

"I'll take a look." Jack assured her handing her the papers in hand.

"Thank you." Cathy said hurrying off.

Walking up to the supply area he cleaned off his hands and pulled out a pair of gloves.

"I'll take it from here guys."

The EMS techs backed off as Jack walked up to the woman. Before he even laid eyes upon her he took the chart hanging on the wall next to her. Silently he read it over to himself. As he lowered it his eyes wondered down to her. Immediately his breath escaped him as he dropped her chart to the floor.

It was Kate lying there in front of him. Her face was completely unrecognizable at first, but it was definitely her. She was drenched from the rain. Blood covered face from her forehead to her chin. Her lips were cut by what looked like teeth marks. Her neck was bruised along with her chest. There were outlines of fingers around her neck. Somebody did this to her.

Jack stood there frozen looking over her. Her body mangled and distorted. Tears welled up in his eyes as he began to blame himself.

Why didn't he take her home?

Why did he take no for an answer?

She had promised him she'd be fine. She lied to him. Why did she lie to him? Why didn't she let him take her home?

He tired his hardest to get the guilt out of his head. He couldn't blame her for this. He couldn't even blame himself. But he had no one to blame, so himself was the closet person.

"Doctor?"

Jack jumped hearing a voice behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw Cathy standing there. She had worry in her eyes. She probably thought he had gone crazy.

"Do you know her?"

Turning away he looked back down to Kate. Lying there so lifeless in front of him. It made him think of when he had shot her. All the thoughts and feelings of that horrible night shrouded him into darkness as he stood there.

"Doctor?"

Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Maybe she'd go away and back home if he closed his eyes. He knew she wouldn't. The world never worked in his favor. Opening his eyes sure enough she still lay there. He knew he had to face this.

Slowly Jack was pushed away and the doctor resurfaced. He had let the fear in longer than he wanted to. Now he had to act. He began to examine her. Checking her pulse and blood pressure. Her breathing wouldn't stabilize and he couldn't figure out if it was from the trauma to the head or something else blocking her air passage.

Hooking her up to a couple of different machines he checked for things he couldn't do by hand. Still with all the machines in the world he couldn't see what was wrong with her on the inside. Slowly pulling his eyes away from Kate he turned to Cathy.

"I want to stabilize her in here for right now, but I want radiology ready to take her in the next five minutes." Jack ordered letting the doctor push himself aside.

Cathy stood there for a moment stunned at his sudden attitude change.

"Now!" He shouted sending her off.

As she hurried off to radiology he hurried around the small space. He needed to quickly get Kate ready to be x-rayed. Still he wasn't done looking her over. Checking on all the machines she was hooked up to he wrote done what he needed to as his hand shook. The nurse stared at him shocked by his lack of patience.

"Doctor…" One of them began thinking she should step up.

"I could do th-"

"I can handle it ok?" Jack snapped laying down the chart.

The two nurses backed off seeing his seriousness about this patient. And he was. This was one of the most important persons in his life if not the most important. He wasn't going to let her go like he did the last time.

Again he went back to looking over Kate. He needed to prep her for the x-ray, but he couldn't fully gather himself to do so. Every time he glanced down and saw her he had to fight himself to let the doctor stay in control. Then he began to question why he was even prepping her at all. Was she even stable enough to go through with an x-ray? At that point it didn't even matter. And x-ray was the only way they were going to find out what was wrong with her.

Quickly Cathy came running down the hall towards Jack. Hearing the clicking of her shoes his heart jumped.

"They're ready for her." She announced.

"Ok."

Her words sent him again into doctor mode. With the help of the nurses he got her ready. In minutes they were wheeling her down the hall to Radiology. He wanted so badly to follow, but knew he couldn't. Instead he stood watching them. Waiting for them to bring her back.

After a half an hour she was back in the small space. It would take fifteen minutes to have the x-rays ready to look at. He needed to keep himself busy in those minutes. It was going to be hard with her lying there behind him.

Jack began to look her over and try and make any predictions to all of her injuries. He saw her leg and hand. There would obviously need to be surgery to fix them. Her lips would defiantly need stitching, but the rest of her face would heal. She was obviously knocked out from being hit in the head. All the bruises and cuts told him that. Hopefully it was only a minor concussion.

Staring down at her the doctor façade faded and he turned back into Jack. Without all the blood covering her face she almost looked like herself. A beaten torn down version of herself. It hurt him to see her like this. Seeing tubes stuck up her nose and wires hanging from her. It wasn't right.

That day after she came back to life he swore to her and himself not to let her end up like this again. He had broken his promise.

"Who is she?" Cathy asked walking over to the other side of Kate.

"Was she on the plane with you?"

Jack took a deep breath trying his hardest to push all those memories out of his mind.

"Yeah.' He whispered nodding his head.

"Are you going to be ok being her doctor?"

"Was for nine months. Wouldn't trust anyone else to do it."

Nine months struck Cathy. It was a significant time period. It was enough time to have a child and that was what she suspected.

"Was she pregnant?" Cathy questioned.

"No." Jack chuckled.

"Just always in trouble."

"She'll be alright." He heard her say as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

He looked back to her and was some how comforted by her smile. Leaving him with that smile, she turned away and left him alone with Kate.

When the x-rays came back he looked them over. Her leg wasn't broken like they had thought. It was just an irritation where Ethan had broken it before hand. It'd be easy to fix. But her hand was worse. Her middle finger and thumb were nearly shattered. Along with that her muscle tissues were slightly torn from the joints.

Her ribs were bruised, which gave him the answer to why her breathing was off. The pressure that her ribs sustained must have been pushed onto the lungs. Therefore her breathing was put off. It was beginning to worry him how she would make it through surgery. All the possible questions swirled in his head. He could only pray nothing would go wrong.

All in all it wasn't that bad. Only her hand needed immediate attention and her head needed to be examined to make sure there was no damage to her brain or anything else. She already had memory lost from being shot and blacking out. He hoped that wouldn't happen in this case. He just needed to be sure.

With a sigh he turned from it and looked back to Kate. All the different beeping and gargling sound were all he heard as he watched her artificially breathe. God how he hated seeing her hanging on by a thread. He thought it had been bad when he held her in his arms, but seeing her lay in a hospital and him unable to make his own decisions on how to help her tore him apart.

Looking back to the x-rays he realized she'd need an operation to fix her hand. There was no way it'd heal by itself. He also knew he was going to be the one to do whether they were going to let him or not. He didn't trust anyone else to what was his job from the start.

Against the medical staff and other doctors. Jack quickly had a room and team ready for her operation. He wasn't going to let her stay like that for long. If he had had it his way he would have fixed her right when he saw her. But he couldn't have it his way. This was the real world. And in the real world there were rules.

After they wheeled her away Jack headed off to get ready. It was the slowest he had ever taken to get ready. He wanted to make sure everything was right. He didn't want to screw anything up. He was messing with more than a life. He was messing with Kate.

Putting on new scrubs he walked over to a sink. Running his hands under the water he glanced up to see himself in the mirror. His own appearance scared him. Bags under his eyes and wrinkles around his lips. He looked horrible. Not himself.

Rubbing his wet hand over his face he thought the water would refresh him. It didn't. Nothing could make him feel better at that point. Nothing until he saw Kate better. Rubbing his face in frustration he pulled himself away and headed into the operation room.

The operation took two hours. Two hours of complete and utter nervousness for Jack. Her hand was fixed and he examined her head. There was nothing to cause any brain damage, but she did have a concussion that needed to be watched.

Once he had her sown up and she was stable they began to worry about where to put her. They hadn't exactly had anything set up seeing how Jack had her rushed into everything without looking over her medical coverage. But Jack quickly volunteered to have all her medical expenses paid for. He didn't care how much they were just as long as she was ok and comfortable.

As they took her to a room Jack cleaned himself up. After that he checked to make sure she was all right. She was still out and on assisted breathing for the time being. Feeling ok with how the nurses were handling it, he decided to back away from it all for a while. So he headed down to the nurse's station down the hall from the emergency room to get some paper work.

"Thanks." Jack breathed as he began to walk away with the papers.

The minute he turned around he heard an all too familiar voice.

"Well I bloody want to see him!"

"I'm sorry sir, but he's working with an out of surgery patient right now. You'll have to wait." The nurse tried to explain.

Jack looked over to see Charlie and Claire holding Christopher standing down at another nurse's station. Charlie was obliviously demanding to see him as Claire tried to calm him down.

"Charlie." Jack called closing the file he was reading.

Charlie looked over and quickly came rushing down the hall towards him. Claire instantly followed.

"Sir! Please come back here!' The nurse demanded.

Charlie continued walking towards Jack.

"Sir, if you don't stop-" The nurse continued as she got up and began to follow them.

"Don't worry he's ok." Jack assured her.

She stopped with Jack words. Charlie turned around and stuck as his tongue trying to show off as the nurse headed back to the station. He quickly turned back as Claire slapped him in the shoulder. Grabbing his shoulder he cowered from her.

Jack couldn't help but laugh. They were already an old married couple.

"What are you guys doing here?" He questioned.

"We heard about Kate." Charlie announced still rubbing his arm.

Jack lowered his head thinking about it.

"How is she?" Claire asked.

"She's stable right now. Just got out of surgery."

"Surgery that fast?" Claire questioned.

"Come on Claire, Kate comes into the hospital where Jack is a doctor. Do you really thing she waited?"

"Yeah we had her in and out in two hours." Jack exclaimed.

"You were her doctor?' Charlie asked.

"Wasn't about to let anyone else touch her." Jack said with a slight smile.

"Well then she was in great hands." Charlie tried to assure them all as he patted Jack on the back.

Jack tried to tell himself Charlie was right, but he felt as if he could have done more. He could have driven her home.

"So…can we see her?" Claire asked.

"You're really not supposed to this early after surgery, but it's you guys and since I'm her doctor I don't see why not." Jack said.

"What about Christopher?"

"Am I going have to hide him?" Claire asked moving the baby around in her arms.

"You got to keep him quiet."

Charlie turned around and bent down to Christopher's level.

"Shhhh. You have to be quiet so we can go see aunt Kate." He said brining his finger to his lips.

Christopher didn't take the warning to heart. He instead pulled on Charlie's hair and let out a giggle.

"You got to be quiet sweetie." Claire winded hoisting him up in her arms.

Charlie stood as Claire began getting frustrated as she tried to quiet the child. Of course she blamed Charlie.

"Don't worry about it." Jack assured them as he turned and began to lead them to the elevator.

As they walked Claire tried her best to look casual, but it was hard as she tried to hide Christopher with her purse. Which only sent him into a giggle fit. Charlie and Claire tried their best to keep him quiet as people started to look.

The elevator ride was a relief. Christopher got quiet. Too quiet. Quiet enough that they could hear themselves breathe. Claire thought that the sudden moving scared him a bit, but whatever it was he was quiet.

Getting off the elevator they began down the hallway. Kate's room was two doors down. Both Claire and Charlie saw Jack's immediate attitude change as they came to her door. His stride became slower and heavier. He seemed unwilling as he took her chart off the door.

Looking it over he sighed at the long list of medications she was on. Closing it and putting it under his arm he opened the door to her room.

All three were immediately put back to see her lying there hooked up to all the machines. Sadly Jack was put back the most, but held his own back. Claire gave Christopher to Charlie and rushed to Kate's side.

"Oh sweetheart…" Claire cried taking her hand.

"She looks horrible." Charlie whispered coming up behind Claire.

"Don't say that!" Claire barked shaking her head as tears fell down her face.

"It's ok." Charlie tried to assure her as he took her in his arms.

Still she stared at Kate. Holding her hand in hers. Begging her subconsciously to wake up.

"She's going to be ok Claire." Jack said sitting down next to her.

She glanced over at him. He was trying his hardest to keep himself together, but he wanted to make sure she believed him first. Obviously she didn't as she shook her head and looked back to Kate. It was hard to believe him seeing her hooked up to a heart monitor and breathing machine. It was hard for him to believe himself.

"Why does she have to be hooked up to all of these breathing machines?" Claire questioned.

"It's just for the first 24 hours to make sure she's breathing right. It's nothing to be worried about." Jack tried to assured her with a smile.

"Do they know who did this to her?" Charlie questioned.

"Don't know. Only two people saw it happen, but they didn't get a look at him." Jack sighed.

"Was she just walking out in the middle of the night?"

Jack lowered his head as his own blame came on.

"She was walking home."

"Wait haven't you been taking her home cause some guys was following her?"

Jack nodded his head knowing where this was going.

"Yes. But she wanted to walk home tonight." Jack replied in a low voice.

"And you let her?" Charlie shouted.

"I can't exactly stop her. Or tell her I have to take her home."

"Yes you could've! And if you would have she wouldn't be here right no-"

"Charlie quit it!" Claire cried.

Both of them stopped and looked to Claire. She was crying so hard she was shaking. She was truly upset.

"You guys did this the last time Kate got hurt."

"Stop blaming Jack. He couldn't have stopped this from happening." Claire exclaimed.

Folding his arms Charlie turned away and walked over to the window. Jack took a deep breath as he himself turned away. He could help but believe Charlie. It was his fault.

"No he's right Claire." Jack announced.

The two looked back to him. He stood in the doorway with tears in his eyes and on his voice.

"I should have taken her home."

"Jack…" Charlie began walking over to him.

"I didn't mean it. It's just that this shouldn't be happening." He continued trying his best to apologize.

"You're right it shouldn't be." Jack sighed.

"Well it did. And none of us can change that." Claire said looking over her shoulder to the two.

It had become silent between them. They all tried their hardest not to exchange looks, but there were all feeling the same thing at the same moment.

Suddenly there was and inaudible voice behind them. It was horse and almost deathly. Claire was the first to turn. What she saw sent joy through her. Kate was coming to.

"Kate!' Claire exclaimed calling the other two to her.

Jack came rushing to her side pushing Claire to the side. He watched her for a minute as she tried to adjust her eyes on him. Once she saw him she tried her hardest to keep her eyes open. The sudden pain she felt took control of her. Still she had question as to what was going on.

"Jack?" She questioned in a whisper.

"Yeah.' He smiled back taking her hand.

"I'm here."

"Where am I?'

"In the hospital."

"Why? What happened?" She asked.

Jack lowered his head as he looked to Claire and Charlie. Charlie avoided looking at him feeling bad about blaming him. Jack looked to Claire and then back to Kate knowing he couldn't hide it from her.

"You were attacked."

"Attacked."

"Yeah. You're pretty banged up. But the worst of your injuries is your hand."

Kate's eyes wondered down to her hand, which was now covered by a cast. She tried her best to lift it up, but it was too heavy and she was too brought down by the painkillers. Letting it go she began to cry.

"I hurt Jack.' She cried.

His heart broke right then along with Claire and Charlie's.

"I know. But you're going to get better ok?"

"Everything is going to be fine." He tried to assure her as he caressed her hand.

His words almost helped. She stopped crying, but couldn't help from whimpering from the intense pain. Still she was so out of it all she felt and saw was pain.

"Is there anything we can do Jack?" Charlie asked.

"I think she needs some rest now."

"But she's been out for fore-"

"Come on Charlie." Claire said stopping him from saying something else that would piss Jack off.

Charlie slung Christopher on his hip as he leaned over and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek. Leaving a friendly pat on Jack's back her headed past Claire as she walked over to Kate herself. Kissing her atop her forehead she wished her well. Giving Jack a comforting hug the three retreated into the waiting room.

Kate tried her best to keep her eyes open as she watched them walk out, but the pain in her head was too much. It was consuming her thought. The minute she looked back to Jack she felt her eyes droop again. The minute he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek she was asleep. Pulling back he had to smile as he watched her. She was going to be ok and he felt good to know that. Still he couldn't help but feel bad that this had happened. She didn't deserve it.

Her eyes flutter open. All she saw was white. Then they closed again. Taking a deep breath she pushed herself to open them again. This time she came to see more than white. She saw the sun coming into the room in which she lay. Sending heat across her body.

Adjusting her sight and hearing she realized she wasn't hooked up to any machines. Looking around the room she realized she wasn't even in the hospital. She had no idea where she was. For a minute she was put off by all the white and thought it was dead. Then she felt the pain in her hand. Looking down she saw it was still in it's cast.

She wasn't dead. The pain she was in was too great for her to be dead. She had no clue where she was. It was beginning to scare her. She didn't the only thing she knew to do at that moment.

"Jack.' She called.

No one answered.

"Jack.'

Again no one came. Her heart began to race when there was no answer. Taking all of it into her own hands she pushed the covers off of her. In all the agony she was in she sat up and over the bed. The moment her feet hit the floor she pushed all her weight off of the bad. It wasn't a smart idea.

All her pain came crashing back to her as she lost her balance and fell to the bed. She couldn't move.

"Jack!" She screamed.

In an instant he came rushing in. When he saw her crippled over on the floor he came rushing up to her.

"Kate what are you doing?" He questioned lifting her up off the floor.

Amazingly she struggled against him.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"My house."

Pushing against him the best as she could, she stumbled to the end of the bed before her legs gave out.

"I want to go home." She cried as she came crashing against the bed.

"Well too bad." Jack said picking her up once again.

Carrying her to the top of the bed he laid her down gently amongst the covers. Still she fought back as he tried to cover her up. She pushed them away and sat up against the bed. He let out a sigh as he stood back letting her be.

"Why can't I?"

"Cause it's not safe with the guy who attacked you still out there." He replied.

"Who attacked me?"

"We were hoping you could tell us."

Kate tried to think back to that night. Trying to focus on what she saw, but nothing came to her. All she saw were flashes between light and darkness.

"I didn't see him.' She whispered lowering her head.

She watched him as he wondered around the room adjusting things like the curtains. He walked over and arranged the flowers people had sent her. There were also balloons and baskets of things all over the room that he tried to arrange and adjust too. He was trying to avoid talk about what had happened.

"What day is it?"

"The 10th of September."

"How long was I in the hospital?" She asked.

"Two days. You weren't that bad off and you improved so quickly that I thought you'd be ok to go home or here rather."

"Oh…" Kate said lowering her head.

"You hungry?" he asked turning back to her.

"A little bit."

"What you in the mood for?"

"Whatever. As long as it isn't in a tube." She joked.

"Ok." He smiled.

He felt so much better that she was awake and talking. The days before then scared him. All the sleeping she did wasn't normal, but it seemed to be for the best. She was better now. But still she had a while till she was able to get back to her life.

The next three days she was asleep and awake off and on. She slept for long periods of a time once she took some medication. Jack often found himself watching her sleep wondering what was dreaming about. It scared him to think how alone she must have felt when she was beaten.

No one deserved to feel that alone. He just wished he had taken her home. It was a thought that plagued his mind whenever he saw her. It was a thought that would never leave his mind.

The Tuesday after it happened he had to go back to work. He didn't want to leave her alone, and he didn't have to. Claire instantly volunteered. She came over early with Christopher before Jack was even ready for work. Jack left her with some instructions and headed out for the day with worry hanging over his head.

He got through the day the best he could. Thanking God he didn't have any major surgeries he had to go through. He sat in his office for the longest time debating whether or not to call and make sure she was ok. Knowing he was over reacting he let it go and went about his paperwork.

Once he saw it was time for him to go he didn't hesitate to get in his SUV. Before he made his way home he decided to stop off at her apartment and get her some clothes. The whole time she had been staying there she had been wearing his shirts and boxers. Not that she didn't look good in them; he thought she'd be more comfortable in her own clothes.

Opening the door of his house he let out a sigh feeling good to be home. Dropping the bags of her stuff and some things he had picked up at the store he walked into his living room to see Claire and Charlie watching some kids show. Oddly he didn't see Kate.

"You're home." Claire smiled.

"Yeah. She still asleep?" He questioned.

Claire motioned out the back window to the patio outside. There stood Kate out on the patio close to the steps leading down to the empty pool. She was leant over the railing. A cigarette in her good hand as she let the smoke blow out between her lips.

"She's been out there every since she got up."

Jack said nothing as he reached down into one of the bags and pulled out a box. Without even acknowledging Claire he headed over to the back door, which led to the patio. He never broke his stare on Kate. He watched her take every drag and let out every exhale. He did hate to see her smoke, but she deserved a little peace after the week she had bee through. It didn't bother him at that moment.

Opening the door he walked out. She obliviously heard him and looked back to him. She had that smile on her face that had been absent that whole week. Turning back she lowered her cigarette and put it out on the railing of the patio.

"You're up."

"Yeah.' She whispered turning back to the sunset over the water.

"How are you feeling?" He asked looking over her injuries.

Shrugging her shoulders she turned back to him. She noticed the box in his hand.

Slowly he extended the box out to her. She eyed the box and then looked back up to Jack.

"Nicotine patches?' She questioned.

"Thought they might help." He smiled.

She stared at him for the longest time trying to get over the smile spread over his face. He seemed to be so happy that he bought her these friendly patches, but she knew he was happy she was up instead of sleeping.

"Turn around." He said opening the box.

Reluctantly she turned around. She felt oddly nervous standing in front of him. Chills ran up and down her back as he pushed the shirt she wore over her shoulder. His breath beat down on her neck as he became frustrated with the wrapper of the patch.

After he cursed it's way open he placed it on her skin. She almost jumped at the cool material touching her skin. She took a deep breath as he pressed his fingers to her skin as he pressed the patch to her skin. She half expected it to work instantly, but knew it would take time.

"You know I'm not that addicted." Kate smiled as Jack came in front of her.

"Yeah…ok.' Jack laughed sarcastically.

Kate had to laugh too, but they both knew she wasn't that addicted. The patches were just to help her through all of this. She really didn't like smoking the cigarettes, but they did ease back the pain.

Sadly they didn't help the guilt she felt. She didn't feel right having Jack do all this for her. She was able to walk and would've been fine to go to work, but Jack wouldn't let her set foot out of the house. Not that she wasn't grateful; she just hated having him take time out of his life to make sure she was all right.

"Thanks Jack, but you don't have to do all this." She whispered looking up to him.

"Kate…" Jack began.

"I don't have to do this you're right. But I want to."

"I want to make sure you get well and you feel as comfortable as possible while you are doing so." He finished with a smile.

Kate shook her head as she looked away with blushing. She couldn't fight against that.

"Well you're doing a great job.' She said.

"I guess I am." He smirked.

"Don't get a swelled head about it." She said narrowing her eyes as she turned away from him.

The two busted out in laughed as they headed towards the house. Coming up behind her he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

"I just might have to watch that.' He sighed.

"I'll make sure of that."

"Oh by the way I stopped by your apartment and picked up some of your clothes." He announced.

"Jack.' She winded struggling against him with a laugh.

"Hey I just thought you'd rather wear your clothes than my clothes? So I took it upon myself to go get you them."

Kate had too look away again as she began to laugh. Coming to the door she looked back up to him trying her best not to laugh at him.

"You're starting to slip Jack. You're letting you head swell." She pointed out pointing to the back of his head.

"Really?" Jack asked touching the back of his head.

Jack shut the door behind them as they walked into the house. Claire was readying herself and Christopher to go home, but instantly turned away seeing Kate.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Better." Kate sighed.

"Well you look better. Can barely tell anything happened." Claire said with a smile.

"She's right." Jack butted in shaking his head.

"Like I need your opinion Mr. Big Head." Kate joked looking over to Jack.

He just laughed as he rustled the bag of her clothes. She just shook her head as she looked away blushing.

Claire looked back and forth between the two confused as the giggled exchanging looks.

"What?" She questioned.

"Nothing." Kate breathed.

"Just Jack being Jack.' She said as she watched him walk down the hall with her bags.

Claire saw her intense stare with Jack's shadow. Looking back to her, she could see a glisten in her eyes that she hadn't seen in Kate's eyes at all. It was infatuation.

"So...' Claire began getting Kate to quickly turn back to her.

"How long until you're all healed up and stuff?"

"Who knows?" Kate said.

"I get my stitches out next week and I have therapy from then on. So I guess how ever long it takes me to feel ok."

"That good." Claire said.

"Well I have to go and Christopher home." She announced as Christopher began to get fussy.

"Oh. So soon?" Kate wined trying her best along with Claire to calm him down.

"I was here all day Kate." Claire pointed out with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah. Sorry I was out all day.'

"Don't worry." Claire assured her.

Leaning in she wrapped her arm around her giving her a hug.

"As long as you get better. Alright?"

"Alright.' Kate smiled.

"And you get some sleep." Kate warned Christopher pushing on his nose.

Smiling, she placed a small kiss on the top his head. Hugging again they said their goodbyes. Claire picked up her stiff and headed for the door.

"Good night Jack.' She yelled down the hall.

"Night Claire. Thanks again."

The door shut as Jack came walking back into the room. He looked around for Claire then realized she was gone. Heading into the living room he saw Kate standing there with a displeased look all over her face.

"What?"

"Why did you have her come over to baby-sit me?"

"It wasn't baby sitting. I just didn't want to leave you alone." He tried to explain as he began for the kitchen.

"Jack I'm grown up. I can handle myself." She said following him.

"You weren't up walking yesterday and I didn't know you were going to today, so I just wanted to make sure."

"I wanted to feel better about going to work." He sighed going through the cabinets.

Kate sighed as she stood in the doorway. She didn't mind his worrying. That was something she couldn't do anything about. But she knew he thought he was going to take care of her forever. Like he did back on the island. But he couldn't do that here. She wasn't trying to run anymore. She had to face up to everything and he couldn't stand in front of her and try to block it.

"This isn't going to go on forever Jack."

He looked over to her with question. He knew she was she was talking about, but pretended not to.

"You taking care of me. I'm going to get better sooner or later." She smiled pushing herself into the kitchen.

Still he looked at her. Watched her as she spoke. Thinking to himself about how badly he never wanted her to go back to her apartment. Back out into that world in which behind every corner lurked someone that wanted to hurt her.

"You're going to have to let go." She sighed.

He turned away looking through the cabinets again. He was buying himself time so he could think of what to say. Once he did he closed the cabinet door and turned to her.

"Well you're not better yet. So I don't have to let go yet.' He pointed out.

She looked away laughing at his words. He attempted to point out something wrong with her statement and he won. She wasn't better and didn't know when she was going to be. It was probably going to be a long while before he would let go. And even after she went back to her real life he still wouldn't let go.

Turning away when the silence became too awkward, Jack went through another one of the cabinets.

"Dammit.' He cursed closing the door.

"We have nothing to eat in this one either."

"Maybe you should go to the grocery store and by some food." She suggested.

"Too lazy." He said almost to serious.

"How about takeout?"

Kate shook her head as she walked up to him.

"Tried of it huh?" He asked.

"Pretty much."

He moved away and looked into the last cabinet. His face lit up as he turned to her.

"We have some hamburger helper." He suggested.

"Do you have hamburger?"

He thought about it for a minute.

"Probably not."

"Looks like pizza is our only option.' He sighed.

Dinner was as it usually was with them. They sat in front of the TV eating their delivered dinner. This time Kate was fully awake. Every night before then she had been hopped up on something and just sat mumbling to herself. And this night they actually ate out in the living room instead of the bedroom.

After, the weight of the day came over Kate. She tried her hardest to push through it, but it all came down on her. To Jack's wishes she took her medication and headed off to bed. He took his own advice and realized an early night might be good for the both of them.

While he was in the shower she sat up in bed watching TV and waiting for her medication to kick in. Usually it only took a few minutes, but that night it wasn't working as fast. She wasn't in an extreme amount of pain like she had been the nights before, but still she was praying for sleep to get through it.

Once Jack came out and ready for bed she was slumped over in the bed staring at the ceiling.

"Still awake?" He questioned.

"Uh huh." She muttered.

He walked over, pulled the covers back, and got into bed next to her. It seemed weird to the others that the two had no problem sleeping so close together and they weren't together. It was even weirder that one of them pushed for that kind of relationship and it still didn't affect them. It just wasn't something they thought about. This was the same way they were on the island. It was a security factor.

Looking over to her spaced out and staring at the ceiling worried him.

"Do you want something else?"

"No."

"Don't wanna become dependant on medication."

'Ok.' He sighed looking away from her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah.' She said looking over to him for the first time since he got into the bed.

"Well if you do…" eh began turning over to his nightstand.

"I have this-"

He stopped when he saw her eyes closed. Smiling he put what he had in his hand back. Turning back he kissed her on the cheek and whispered "goodnight." Laying back he closed his eyes. Within seconds he drifted of himself.

The days following came easier for Jack. He felt better going to work knowing she was up and about. Knowing she was capable to look after herself and do things made his days go by that much easier.

Sometimes when he was alone in his office he would think. Of why she never talked about what happened. How she didn't even get a glimpse of the guy. It was possible that she didn't see his face, but still there had to have been something she saw. It just bothered him that she never said anything. She just went along as if she were healing from a fall or something. She acted as if nothing had happened.

He wanted to ask her about it, but then again didn't want to push her. He had pushed her too many times already. And he wasn't willing to put more strain on them. He would juts have to push himself to let it go.

Kate on the other hand had her moments. Her days went along ok, but being alone in his house made her feel just that. Not that there wasn't anything to do. There was just no one to do it with. She ended up spending her days with Claire, Christopher, and sometimes Charlie. With them her healing process went by that much quicker.

By the end of the week Kate was almost completely healed. She was walking around fine, her stitches in hand came out and she was going to therapy to help get her muscles back in order. Her lip stitches also came out, but she had a nasty scar that she couldn't hide. All in all her recovery process was going as expected.

Coming out of Jack's bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, Kate tried to get used to the feeling of her bare hand as she dried her hair. It felt come much better to be able to feel things outside a cast.

She also quickly got used to that feeling of just stepping out of the shower felt. She hadn't had one in days. Since before what happened. While she was healing Jack had to help her wash up. Something she still felt embarrassed about.

Walking quickly across the room she closed the door and locked it. She knew Jack wasn't home, but still felt uneasy. After the accident she felt herself looking around corners and locking more doors.

Going through her bag on the floor she found a pair of sweats she knew she'd feel comfortable in. Dropping her towel to the floor she did her best balancing as she pulled her clothes on. Pulling a t-shirt over her head she glanced into the mirror and focused on her lip. The stitches did leave a scar, but she couldn't help but smile at the feeling of having them out.

Walking out into the living room she was quickly caught off by seeing Jack walking around in the kitchen. Only dressed in the lower part of his scrubs. She wanted to say something, but stood and watched him silently. He walked around getting putting groceries away unaware that she was watching him.

Oddly she began to smile without realizing it. Her eyes followed his every movement stuck to the muscles moving under his skin. She had never looked at him this way before and she began to feel weird doing it.

"So…' She finally said walking into the kitchen.

He was so startled by her intrusion that bags fell to the floor and he jumped back into the counter.

"Kate.' He gasped bending over to catch his breath.

"Do you always put groceries away without a shirt or is this a special occasion?" She giggled as he tried to bring his breath back to normal.

"Do you…always sneak up on people?' He questioned back.

"I've been known to.' She smiled walking up to him.

He shook his head as he stood back up. Turning around he continued putting things away. Kate walked over and sat up on the counter. Going through a bag sitting next to her she had to laugh.

"What?"

"I can't believe you actually went grocery shopping.' She chuckled.

"It's not brain surgery. I think I could handle it."

"Well we know you're kinda good a brain surgery, so it must have not been too difficult."

"Funny." He winced trying to hide his smile.

"How'd Doctor Morrison treat you?" He asked.

"Well he wasn't you." She groaned rolling her eyes.

He turned back and stared at her with a confused look.

"Oh yeah? What wasn't me bout him?"

"He was just too antsy. He had an issue with touching things."

"With touching things?"

"Yeah. He wouldn't touch my lip at all."

"Didn't know he took the stitches out unless I looked in the mirror. I still don't know."

"Here." Jack said putting what he had in his hands down.

"Let a real doctor take a look."

She stared at him with a raised brow with his words. Their eyes never parted as he walked over to the counter. She was hesitant at first as he came close to her, but she eased as he balanced himself against her knees. Shifting her own weight, she slowly leaned in towards him.

Chills ran down her spine when his breath beat down on her hands that lay between them. Closing her eyes she took as deep breath. The moment his fingertips brushed across her lips she became lost. She looked up into his eyes as he stared down to her healing scar. It was a hard fight to keep her hands in submission. And with all this she had no lip to bite to keep herself from saying something she knew she'd regret.

Why was she feeling this way?

And over Jack?

She knew she had feelings for Jack. That was the whole reason why she couldn't be with him. After all that had been done with and they got past it she thought those feelings would leave her. Thought they would bury themselves and never resurface.

But sadly they would always be there. And now they were resurfacing. Sitting there and trying to be in control of her body while Jack was this close to her was proving to be hard. As soon as his fingers left their last burning imprint on her lip she sucked it in between her teeth. Closing her eyes against she tried to imagine anything to get all the feeling out of her head.

"Well it looks pretty good." She heard him say.

Still she sat and said nothing back. And he stepped back and looked at her for a brief second. Something was bothering her, but he didn't know what exactly.

"Are you ok?" He questioned as he placed his hands on either side of her and leaned in.

Opening her eyes with his words she almost cried out in surprise at seeing him so close to her. They were only inches away from each other. It was hard not to stare into each other's eyes. It was almost hard to speak a word to each other.

"Are you ok?" He asked again.

She thought for a moment about the real answer to that question. In reality she wasn't. She was crumbling under his stare and a few minutes ago it was his touch. But she couldn't exactly tell him that.

Sucking in her breath as she nodded her head and fluttered her eyes away from him. Still she felt his breath and eyes on her next as she focused on the floor with her eyes. He was pushing her as he rocked himself closer to her and then away again. And he knew it. He was trying to antagonize her.

Feeling his hand creep up closer to her eyes shot up to his. She saw an odd mischief dancing around in the dark pools of his eyes. Both seemed to be waiting for that moment they knew would break them apart before they could let anything go farther. If that was what they wanted. To go farther.

The phone rang. Kate jumped, but Jack didn't move. He pulled away, but lingered. Their eyes only broke when he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Kate eased back with a slow exhale. She only looked up as the phone was extended to her.

"It's for you."

She looked to the phone and then up to Jack.

"Who is it?" She questioned as an odd fear came over her.

"Nancy from your work."

Kate took the phone from him and hopped down off the counter. Looking over her shoulder to Jack, she wondered out into the living room.

While she was on the phone Jack continued to put the groceries. All the while thinking to himself about what had just went on between them. She was obviously put off by his closeness, but why. Was she uncomfortable? Of course she was either way. But was it in a good way or a bad way?

He almost drowned in his thought until Kate came back in. Turning around he saw she was teary eyed. Something had gone wrong on the phone.

"What's wrong?" He question wondering if she'd actually tell him.

To his surprise she did.

"They fired me." She whispered.

"What?"

Closing the refrigerator he slowly came to her side.

"They said they couldn't keep an opening for me any longer."

"Kate they can't do that. You can sue the-"

"Don't bother with it Jack. I hate it there any way." She said trying to laugh it off.

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't know. Unless you have some bright idea?' She asked as she began to walk out of the room.

Jack thought for a minute. Quickly going through his mind remembering open jobs at the hospital. All of them needed some sort of training except one.

"Actually I do." He announced.

She stopped mid stride and turned around.

"What?"

"They're looking for assistances down at the nursery at the hospital."

"Don't you need some sort of training or something?" She questioned.

"No. And I think you'd be perfect for it seeing how great you are with Christopher." He smiled.

"Jack I don't know…" She winded trudging across the floor to him.

He lowered his eyes as he took her by the shoulders.

"Kate you'd be perfect. You shouldn't worry about anything."

"How do I go about even trying to get this job?"

"I'll set up something for you." He volunteered.

"Jack..."

"I know the girls down there. I can get you an interview and everything. I can practically guarantee you the job."

"Thank you." She cooed pulling him into a hug.

"You don't have to thank me." He assured her as he rubbed her back.

"I know, but you're doing too much for me."

Slowly she turned away with a smile. Heading out of the room she looked over her shoulder.

"I might become dependant on you." She joked with a wink as she continued down the hall.

Jack slowly let her words sink in. "dependant on you." Was that something he was trying to do? Did he want that? All he knew is that he didn't want her to leave.

After he was done he got on the phone with the hospital. Calling the woman who headed up the nursery. Only two minutes and Kate had an interview. Hanging up the phone Kate's words soon entered Jack's mind again.

Dependant.

Was he trying to make her dependant on him?

He thought about it. All he had been doing for her. It was for her well being and to help her get better. Wasn't it? But then again she had gotten along fine before they met. Before the plane crash. Or had she? Seeing how she didn't want to talk about anything before the crash he had no idea. He didn't know if what he was doing was affecting her and if it was how.

He had to admit he did like the way things were going. Him taking care of her. With her being the way she was he was amazed how she was letting her independence and stubbornness still be a factor. Yet she was giving in and he was enjoying it. He liked that she was letting him help her.

She wasn't becoming dependant. He was.

Rubbing the side of his face he sighed. Pushing himself away from the kitchen, he slowly made his way down the hall. Coming to the door he noticed it was cracked open. Of course he had to lean in and see what she was doing.

She sat there going through her things. Folding them and separating them into piles. It was almost a relief to see her sitting there. For some reason he felt better seeing her sitting there.

Slowly pushing the door open he caught her attention. Her head jolted up as she saw him. Taking in his appearance she looked back down to what she was doing. He wanted to say something to her, but kept his mouth shut as he walked over and sat at the edge of the bed.

The quiet between them was usual, but odd. He was more content with it than her. She kept glancing over her shoulder as he sat there watching her. His stare felt unnerving. Like it had been when he was staring at her as she sat on the counter.

What was he thinking?

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked breaking her thought and their silence.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just wanted to make sure. You seemed upset when you got off the phone."

"Trust me. I am glad I got fired." She smiled looking back to him over her shoulder.

"I got you an interview." He announced.

She stopped folding her shirt and slowly sat it down. Taking a deep breath she couldn't help but smile as she turned around to face him. They locked eyes as she stood up and walked over to him.

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

He chuckled, still never breaking their stare. Laughing, she gently poked him in the head and pushed it back.

"What was that for?" He questioned grasping his head.

"You're head was swelling. Had to pop it." She smiled.

She didn't drop the smile or the stare as she walked into the bathroom. Turning around she stuck out her tongue and closed the door.

He couldn't help but smile. He really didn't even realize it till he saw himself in the mirror on the wall. It didn't matter that the door was closed and she couldn't see him smile. He was doing because of his own satisfaction.

Her smile and odd touch sent a feeling through out his body. He hadn't felt that way with Kate since they were in the caves that night. Then they were drunk. Now he was widely aware and able to realize. He was falling for her.

Closing the door behind her, Kate let out the deep breath she had been holding. Glancing over her shoulder she was unconsciously checking to see if Jack was looking at her, but he wasn't. There was only a wall.

Slowly she walked over to the toilet. Her steps were shaky. Putting down the lid she sat down. Immediately her hands caught her face. Tears welled up in her eyes. Stinging her heated skin as she blushed. But these weren't tears of sadness or guilt. They were of question.

After what happened in the kitchen she thought she could slip away for a while. What had she been thinking? This was Jack. He always knew where to find her and at what time too. It was if he knew her internal clock.

He also seemed to know which buttons to push. The ones to make her aggravated, safe, flustered. He also knew how to make her feel a way she hadn't in years. She didn't know the inside of that feeling, but she knew the outside. Almost as well as he seemed to. The outside was a game. With plays of touches. Touches that were leaving her breathless.

She didn't know how this had happened so suddenly. She had pushed all the feelings she had for him besides friendship away after she found out about Sarah. Now they were making their own rules and playing for themselves. If she didn't do something they'd win.

Then there was Jack. She didn't know his motivation. He hadn't shown this kind of attitude before. Maybe a little on the island when they were both vulnerable, but nothing this serious. Not even when he asked her about them. This was a side she had never seen before in him. She didn't know how to feel about it and that's what was screwing with her.

Part of her didn't want anything to do with it. The part of her that was scared of hurting him, which in turn would hurt her. The same part that told him no. Then there was the part that wanted to say with the hell with it all. Let everything that happened go and try and be happy. But could she be happy? With Jack?

It was a possibility. But so was everything. This part of her was the part that questioned everything. It was also the part of her that thought if she slammed her hand in a door she could pass it off that she fell and Jack would be there at her side in a heart beat.

She didn't know which part was winning. At that moment it was the slamming hand part. But who knew how long that would last. This was a game in which no one played fair. She'd just have to wait for the right time to make a move. Whatever part of her was winning at that point would take the points. The next few days would bring out that winning side, till then she wouldn't know. She had to wait for an absolution that would never come.

The next day came slow and awaited for the two. After the ordeals in the kitchen and the bedroom they both tried to keep their distance. Sleep was a problem. The closeness wasn't an issue, it was the fact that sleep was a precious thing that was hard to grab a hold of.

Kate's interview was the next day. She was completely unprepared for it, but Jack insisted she'd do great. They were words that didn't sink well with her.

This was his day off. He spent it lounged out on the couch watching football. It was something he missed on the island and at work. He wasn't a fanatic, but it eased him up a bit.

He had completely lost track of time as he lay there with a bag of chips in one hand and a beer in the other. The front door nearly gave him a heart attack. Jumping up he was relieved to see Kate walk into the house.

"You're too jumpy for a doctor." She smiled.

"You just sneaky enough to be an ex criminal." He shot back as he caught his breath.

She simply rolled her eyes as she walked into the kitchen. Suddenly remembering where she had been he got up and followed her.

"So how'd it go?"

"Horrible." She sighed searching for something to eat.

"I doubt it was that bad."

"Really? Well what would you say to a woman who had an issue holding newborns?'

"I'd say it was an interview and you weren't used to it. And in time you would be." He said.

She stared at him unable to come back with something after that. She just shook her head and hoped up onto the counter. Grabbing a banana she turned back to him.

"Is that the only thing you think you screwed up on?"

"Yeah. It's not that I had a problem; I am just so scared I'd drop them. What with my hand and everything."

"Well they knew that so I wouldn't worry about it." He assured her.

"I can't help but."

"How about I call and ask what they thought?" He suggested picking up the phone.

"Jack. I don't know. What if they know I'm behind it?"

"How would they?"

"I'm just checking up to see how you did." He smiled dialing the number.

She could help but smile at his brilliant idea. Although it was brilliant it had its flaw. What if they didn't like her? What if the whole baby thin did put her off?

"Yes Julia, this it Jack Sheppard…" He began.

"I was just wondering how Kate did today."

He was silent beside the occasional nod and utter. She wanted badly to know what she was saying to him. It was too hard to read it from his face.

"Jack.' Kate whispered grabbing the sleeve of his shirt.

He batted her away as he turned away from her. That made her even more worried.

Finally he took the phone from his ear. She eyed his every movement as he hung up the phone. The minute he turned around her heart sank. He stared at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes as he bit his lip.

"Oh no…"

"You got the job!" He shouted extending his arms.

Instantly she felt delight and jumped into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck he spun her around the room. Then she put her feet on the room and stopped them.

"This isn't because of you is it?" She questioned.

"No. Of course not."

"They said you were one of the sweetest people they've ever met. And they way you talked to the babies was just amazing."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep." He declared nodding his head.

There were not words for her. Only excitement. She actually got this job on her own. No help, besides Jack setting up the interview. That didn't matter. She had a job that she might enjoy.

"I think we can celebrate over this." He said grabbing some wine coolers form the fridge.

Taking her by the arm he led her into the living room. Pushing all the snacks and junk aside they sat down. Taking off the tops they raised them in the air.

"To another beginning." Kate declared.

"To another beginning and hopefully a happy one." Jack smiled.

Taking a sip a memory came to mind.

"Remember the last time we drank together?" Kate asked.

"The caves. That rainy night right?"

"Yep." Kate said taking another sip.

Faded memories of that night keep them from taking for a moment. Both focusing on the kiss that led the night on in a haze. Neither remembered what happened after Kate dwelled upon her issues. Or rather they both dwelled.

"How about we go for another round." Jack suggested.

Kate's face twisted up at the thought of waking up not knowing where she was.

"But without the stakes of drinking."

Again she began to think. Whether or not this was a plan that had worked itself up in his mind. A plan to get her questioning side to come up to the front and break down the barriers she had.

How was this night going to end up?

Were they going to end up sharing all their most intimate secrets?

For once she pushed her inhibitions out of her head and went for it.

"Ok." She agreed.

"You first." She quickly said.

He groaned with a smile as he thought.

"Since you already know about me. Have you ever been married?"

"Once." She answered meekly.

He was oddly not surprised. With the track record she was putting out he expected it.

"His name was Michael."

"And yes it was while I was on the run." She quickly said beating him to the punch.

"What happened?"

"Just didn't work out. He wanted to be together forever and I just wasn't willing."

That first question of the game left them both in a weird spot. Kate felt somewhat torn that he had chosen to go to ask a question about her past. But still it wasn't something that gave away anything beside the fact that she had been married.

"Favorite food?"

"Favorite food?" He questioned.

"Yeah." She smiled trying to encourage him.

"Meat loaf."

"Really. I can't stand it."

"Well you haven't had the kind my nanny made."

"A nanny?" She questioned trying to comprehend him having a nanny.

"Yeah. I had a nanny growing up. With my dad being a doctor and my mother being well… my mother I had to have someone to watch me." He explained.

"Ok…" Kate said stretching out.

"How about you? Favorite food?"

"Umm…fruit."

"Fruit."

"That's a pretty gray area there Kate. There are many kinds of fruits."

"Well I like all kinds." She smiled.

"Childhood friend."

"His name was Richard." Jack replied taking another sip.

"Sounds like there's a story behind Richard." Kate smirked.

"No story. Just a little asshole." Jack smirked back.

"How about you?"

"I didn't have any friends." Kate said taking a sip.

"Come on you had to have had friends. Everyone had friends."

"Not me. I moved around so much I didn't have time. I spent most of my time sitting alone outside thinking to my self."

"That's why you were always sitting in the sand staring off in to space."

His words struck her. This was the first time she had ever heard him mention anything about the island. It wasn't exactly a direct reference, but it was something she did on the island. Something he remembered her for other than being sick.

These thoughts brought her to her next question.

"Do you miss the island?"

"The island?"

"Yeah. I mean we spent nine months in seclusion Jack. There has to be something you miss."

He thought for a second. The only thing he really loved on the island was sitting in front of him. He did enjoy the essence of it, but getting back to a normal life felt good.

"No." He whispered.

"Really?"

"What do you?"

"Yeah. I miss the beauty of it and the feeling of alone I got just walking five feet into the jungle…' She began.

"It was the good kind of alone."

He watched her eye dazzle as she talked about it. Watching her you might get the impression that she enjoyed it. If she did that was her. He hated it and didn't want to talk about it.

"Favorite band."

She was almost awed at how he pasted off the subject of the island. It was if he didn't want to talk about it. That was how every seemed to act. Anytime she had brought it up in the past they quickly changed the subject. But it was going to be different this time. She was going to get him to talk.

"New Kids on the Block." She replied with no emotion.

Before he could laugh or comeback she questioned him.

"Why don't we talk about what happened?"

He was put off by her question. He didn't know what she meant. Maybe this was her trying to open up about what happened to her. Still he didn't know for sure.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the island Jack."

"Every since we got off the island no one has said anything. Why?" She questioned.

"Maybe because it's something we all want to forget."

"How can you just forget?"

"We crashed on an island. And island in the middle of no where for nine months Jack."

"I know." He sighed taking a swig from the bottle in his hand.

"All we went through. Trying to survive. Living on the borders of a jungle that was inhabited by a monster none of us could see, but all of us heard. Then there were the people who lived among us that we didn't know about. That kidnapped us and hung us from trees. The people that killed and buried our own in some mass grave…'

"How could you forget what happened after that day. Finding me in that ditch barely alive. Claire coming back with Christopher. That illness that I contracted somehow and spread on to the others. Killing them one by one. I mean how can you forget Walt and Michael. Sawyer." She continued as tears welled up in her eyes from the thoughts.

"I nearly went crazy and tried to pull you down with me. We all went crazy running from that madman that we thought was dead. The man that almost killed me. How can you just forget?"

He stared at her thinking about everything moment as she mentioned it. The moment she mentioned dying his heart stopped. She didn't know what happened. She didn't know that he had shot her. Her memory was gone from the point she wondered into the woods that day until she woke up in his arms. There was no way could forget that even if he tried.

"You think about it don't you?"

"Don't you?" She countered.

It was. Something he thought about everyday of his life. It was constant reminder to not let life slip through your fingers.

"I guess it's something we all want to try and get past."

"It's hard to let the past go Jack."

"I should know. It's going to stick with you no matter what." She whispered putting the bottle to her lips.

He could hear the exhaustion on her breath. This was getting to her. What was supposed to be a celebration turned into a bring down. But he had to admit to himself that she was right. This was never going to go away. No matter how hard he tried.

Soon after the remorse of what happened lifted off their tongues Jack turned on the TV. Both knew it was best to end the questioning. It wasn't getting anywhere.

Soon the weakened sun gave up and let there be night. The glow of the TV cast shadows of their movements into the kitchen. Both had settled down quite a bit after their last drink and the silence between them was an eerie calmness.

As a commercial over took the screen Jack glanced down to Kate. He was put off at seeing her lie there asleep. He had wondered why she was being so still and quiet. Then again both of them were oddly quiet.

Looking up to the clock he saw that it was 9:00. It was early, but not early for her. For a moment he thought to pick her up and take her into the bedroom. She just looked so right lying there in front of the TV. The light bouncing of the groves in her face. Lighting up her curves as she lay scrunched up against herself.

He let her be. Sitting back he couldn't help but look away from the TV to her. Watching her sleep like he had many nights in the past weeks. Again he wondered what she was dreaming of. Seeing how their main conversation of the night was the island and its affects he saw her running down the beach trying to reach the end of an endless ocean.

After a while he had to pull himself away. He need to do something, because h couldn't imagine how awkward it would be if she opened her eyes, looked up and saw him. How would he explain it?

Getting up as slowly as she could, he tried not to disturb her. Going through his mind he tried to make a checklist of what he could or had to do. Walking around the couch he glanced down to get one last glimpse of her before he turned and walked down the hall. Leaving her lie in front of the TV.

The sound of someone yelling woke her.

Her eyes focused on the TV. Gradually they wondered over to where Jack had been sitting. It was an empty space now. She wondered where he was. Sitting up she surveyed the area around her. There was no sign of him. No note. No nothing.

Glancing up to the clock she was surprised that it midnight. Had she been out that long? She didn't even remember falling asleep. But the real question wasn't sleep. It was Jack's whereabouts.

Traveling down the hall she headed for the bedroom. She didn't really expect him to be in there. He would have never left her sitting on the couch if he were going to sleep.

Before she end reached the door she was caught by the faint light coming from Jack's office. Pushing the door open she found him. Lying across his desk knocked out. A smile played across her face as she tip toed into the room.

Coming up behind his chair she heard him breathing. His back rising and falling with each sound. Looking around she saw his computer, which had given up the faint light that led her into the room. The screensaver was on. It was some stupid thing that came installed with the computer.

Seeing him lie there asleep she almost didn't have the heart to wake him, but she couldn't leave him there.

"Jack." She whispered brushing her hand across his face.

He didn't move.

"Jack. Honey."

Again his eyes stayed shut and his body motionless.

Extending her hand she shook his shoulder this time. This caused his hand to jerk across the desk and hit the mouse. Brining the previous screen to life.

"Ja-"

She stopped and dropped her hand to her side. Her eyes widen as she stared at the screen. There spread across it was her mug shot. That gruesome picture of her that she had often seen Jack staring at on the island. Under it was listed the crimes she had been convicted of. All of them. Every last one.

She was speechless. She couldn't feel anything in her body for a long moment. Not until Jack stirred. Her eyes jolted down to him and then to the screen again. Soon she began to question.

"Kate?" He groaned rubbing his eyes.

There were defiant tears in hers as she looked back down to him.

"How could you?" She whimpered.

He didn't have any idea what she was talking about. Then he saw her eyes move to the computer screen. He didn't look over. He knew what was there and this time he couldn't work his way out of it.

"Kate, I'm so so-"

Before his final word her hand came quick across his face. Leaving a burning imprint across his cheek. Turning away he brought his hand up. As his fingers ran across his stubble he looked down to her with tears of his own. Her body was shaky as she stood her ground.

"Kate, I am so-"

"I don't want to hear it Jack. You promised."

"You promised!" She cried pointing at the screen.

"I know I did, but-"

"Why did you lie Jack? Why do you always lie to me?"

He didn't know what to say. He had lied to her. He had promised to not get involved in her past and now here he was looking at all the charges against her.

"If you can't be satisfied with me the way I am and are so bent on what did in the past than this can't work. It can't."

"I can't." She whispered bringing her hand to cover her mouth.

Standing there under his pathetic gaze was too much for her. She had to get out. And not just run to the bathroom. She needed out of the house.

In an instant she turned and raced out the door. Quickly he was after her.

"Where are you going?" He questioned standing at the end of the hall.

"I don't know Jack." She replied standing with her back to him.

"I just have to get away from you."

With that she grabbed the keys to his truck leaving the ones to his SUV and walked out of the door. Amazingly he let her go. But once the door slammed shut behind her his blame let loose.

"Dammit!' He yelled putting his arm up against that wall.

In that moment he realized he needed to let her go. Let her be with herself away from him. But not for that long. She couldn't stay out all night. Sooner or later he would go out that door and follow her.

Crying. That was all she did as she drove around. At first she had no idea where she was going to go, but then she remembered she did have an apartment. Although if he followed her that would be the first place he would look, it was the best place for her to be alone. If he did show up she didn't have to let him in.

Jogging up the stairs she felt somewhat glad she was hopefully going to have this night alone. Wiping away her tears she pulled out her keys and opened the door. Walking into the dark apartment she almost didn't recognize it, but it was her's.

Turning around she closed the door behind her. Once the lock was bolted she pressed her back up against the door. Taking in a deep breath she almost felt relief.

"Kate?"

Her breath stuck itself in her throat. She couldn't breath as she watched a figure in the darkness slowly walk up to her. Her mind raced with thoughts of who it could be. Then she realized it. This was how it had happened when she was attacked. A figure emerging from the darkness calling her name. With that reminder she began to tremble.

The sound of an approaching car came quickly form the distance. She begged God for it to be Jack. As the headlights rushed past her window the person before her could be seen. She almost choked on her breath as she saw who it was. Quickly she feared for her life.

"Jason."

Jason is the guy she robbed the bank with.

**Authors Note: **_I know this story is six times slower than the first story. I mean i was killing people left and right on that one. This one is going to be most likely the most thought worthy. There's going to be alot of thinking and life decision making in this one. But since i have decided to write four stories all together in this series you won't have to wait long for something to happen. All this slow emotional stuff is just what lead up to all the drama. I also realize i haven't been taking about anything to do with the island. I have mentioned it, but not explained it. I promise you guys all the questions from the last story will be answered in time. I mean all of them. From why Kate was being used by Ethan, why he's still alive, the mass grave, the illness, why Sawyer contracted the illness, and everything else. I will give you one hint to what will happen...so if you don't want to know this spoiler i'd turn your head..._

_They will we going back to the island. I hope that doesn't spoil anything, i just wanted to let you all know what way this story is going. I promise you the end of all of and the ride there will be worth it! I hope you all enjoy it as much as i have coming up with it and antisipating it!  
_


	7. Past Regression

_I stayed up all night to get this one done. It isn't as long as the last on (don't know if i'll ever have one that long again) Anways i am a little iffy about this chapter. I am always iffy. But as always i hope you guys enjoy it! I'll let you know that there all no dreams in this chapter. No flashbacks.So everything is real. I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing! Enjoy! As always reviews make me that much happier!  
_

**Past Regression **

The shadowy outline of his face burned into her mind as it disappeared back into the darkness of the room. She couldn't move in the moment after she saw it was him. Her mind raced with thoughts of what she had done to him and what he could do to her. It was going to be hard to get away from this unharmed. Or at all.

"You act surprised to see me there Kate." He said slowly walking out of the darkness towards her.

"Or should I call you Maggie?"

She wondered how he knew her real name. She knew she didn't tell him that was her name back then. She never used her real name when she was on the run. How had he found out her real name? Had he gone to the government or something to get it? Then she remembered how her and her real name were still probably being plaster all over the news on every channel. His search must have not been that hard.

He became visible as he came closer. Her eyes dreaded to look him over, but she couldn't help it. He looked no different than she had seen him last. His face rugged and beaten from years of the fast lane. She could still picture him lying on the floor in the vault of that bank. Clutching his leg after she had shot him. He had sworn revenge. She figured this was it.

"So…" He began as he leaned in closer to her. His eyes fixed loosely on hers.

Her attention was caught as she felt something brush up against her stomach. Looking down alarm came over her realizing it was a gun sticking out of the front of his pants. Her heart began to pound within her chest as she glanced back up to him. His eyes reflected anger and madness never breaking their stare with her.

"Which is it?" He questioned with a small smile snuck across his lips.

She didn't answer. She didn't want to. Didn't want to let him win. To give him the satisfaction.

His face fell from the conjuring smile when she didn't answer him.

"Which is it!" He screamed slamming his fist into the door behind her.

Her body jumped pressing herself up against him. The butt of the gun dug into her stomach. Quickly she flinched back and lowered herself back to the door. She began to shake as he slowly trailed his hand down the door just barely touching the outline of her body.

"K…Kate." She stammered.

"Kate?"

"You sure? Or is that just same name you're using to screw some pathetic idiot over?"

"No it's Kate." She whispered lowering her eyes to the floor.

They came back up as he gripped her face and pushed her head back to the door. Her eyes closed for a brief moment as she winced from the stinging pain in the back of her head. Opening them she came to stare forcibly into his eyes. She temped herself to look away, but realized this was serious. She didn't have the control. He did. Still she couldn't give in that easily.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned with a hiss.

"Finishing what I started last week." He breathed as his eyes wondered curiously down her body.

It clicked right then. It was if a bright light came over the room and opened her eyes. Letting her see everything that had been over shadowed in the last week. He was the one that had attacked her.

"It was you." Kate gasped.

"You were the one who attacked me?"

"Good guess." He snickered.

"But why?"

"In a word, revenge."

The world stopped in that moment. The darkness of the room shrouded her in her own little world of thought. His words sound so familiar to her. And it being said in this situation seemed so memorable yet so far off. She searched her mind pushing and prying through memories. Then it hit her.

Ethan.

He had said the same exact thing when he attacked her the second time. He had said he wanted revenge from Jack. Why she didn't know. He didn't do anything direct to him. It didn't make sense to her. It never had and never would. But this, this was making an odd bit of sense. These two incidences so similar, yet worlds apart.

Jason's revenge made sense. She had used him to get something she wanted and then screwed him over. She had to admit she deserved this. But then again she wasn't willing to give it to him.

"You won't get it." She spat.

His hand quickly came over her face. Smacking her hard. His fingertips left a stinging imprint across her cheek as she turned away. She didn't even look back to him when she felt his breath up against her ear. His nose pressed to her skin irritating it more.

"You thing so huh?" He questioned.

Her eyes moved from the wall back to him. He pulled away, but not far. Still he eyed her with his narrow eyes. She knew her next choice of word was going to push it. But she wasn't going to let this happen. Not again.

"I know so." She whispered.

In an instant she was struck with pain. The next thing she knew she was on the floor gasping for breath as she held her stomach. Taking deep breaths trying to recover from his blow she looked up to see him standing over her now. Gun drawn, pointing close to her head. She had pushed it.

"No more games." He growled.

"I am going to get what I want and you're not going to stop me."

Lowering her head she closed her eyes. She felt scared in that moment. Scared of how this night was going to end. Scared knowing she couldn't get herself out of this.

Was he going to kill her?

Rape her?

Suddenly she was pulled back from her questions as she felt the barrel of the gun press to her head. Her eyes shot open and her body froze. No movement, no thought, no breath.

"Get up."

She didn't hesitate. She knew when to pick which move at which moment. This wasn't a moment to push buttons. He had her under his control and all she could do was listen.

Once on her feet he took her arms and twisted them behind her back.

"Time to get what I want." He announced pressing himself up against her back.

Kate's eyes drifted shut as her head fell back against him. She was begging God in that moment to let Jack or somebody walk through the front door. But no matter how much she begged she knew deep down this was happening and more than likely it wasn't going to end on her side.

Her eyed opened and her head came up strait feeling the gun pressed to the back of her head. It was a feeling she couldn't get used to. A feeling no one should. She began taking deep labored breaths as his hand came up over her stomach and he pressed her back to him.

This was what was going to happen. This was what he wanted. Her. He wanted to take revenge out on her body and then leave her helpless and scared. And there wasn't anything she could really do at that moment. With the gun to her head she had to let this happen.

Relief came for a brief second when his hand dropped back to his side. Taking a hold of her hands again he pushed her in front of him.

"Move." He ordered pressing the gun harder to her skull.

Taking in her breath she held it as she began to walk with him closer than she wanted behind him. Her eyes were glued on what lie at the end of the dark hallway. Her bedroom.

Jack sat crouched down in the obscurity of his hallway. His head in his hands. His mind in pity. Pity of himself.

He had screwed up. Broken his promise. His curiosity got the best of him as it always did. But he couldn't help it with Kate. Badly did he want to know what troubled her. Wanted to know why she hid her feelings.

On the subjects of feelings he wasn't one to talk. He had problems beyond count with feelings. His parents made sure of that. With his mother's lack of approval and his father's lack of confidence in him, he had a hard time facing up to what he felt around woman. That was why he had his problems with Sarah. They had convinced him she was right. Didn't let him feel for himself.

Now he was. For the first time probably in his life he felt for himself. And was he felt was tearing him apart.

He loved Kate.

He had to admit it to himself before he ever could to her, if he ever would. After that night she'd probably never speak to him again and he would deserve it if she didn't. He had screwed up everything he had build up in the last weeks they let each other in again. He pushed her away again and it was going to be hard to pull her back.

Pushing himself to his feet he began to pace back and forth. Trying to figure out what he should do.

Should he go after her?

Should he stay and let everything cool off?

Staying was the logical reason. He knew she needed space and time to think. Not only about what happened, but also about everything.

He saw how she was around him. She acted the same way. The flirting. The blushing smiles. Touches here and there. There was some feeling deep down that he knew she had for him. The real problem was he didn't know how deep down she had pushed it. After what he did she had probably ripped it from her body and threw it out the car door as she drove away. He'd be lucky if he every saw the blushing smile again.

He couldn't think strait at that moment. So many thoughts clouded his mind, but all of them were about Kate. He couldn't pick just one to focus on.

Did he love her?

Of course he did. He always had a soft spot for her even back on the island, but it wasn't till he shot her that he realized it was more than just a spot. It was his whole body in which he loved her with. He cared for her deeply and never wanted to see her hurt like that again. But he knew hurt was something he couldn't stop. Especially when they made it back.

He had promised himself to do whatever to make her happy and feel safe. But so many things came into play. Sarah being the major thing that came between them.

If he had only told her about Sarah they'd probably be at a different place right now. Hell he had no idea he'd ever see Sarah again. How was he supposed to know they'd get rescued? He thought they'd be stuck there forever and live without the secrets of his past coming up. But as always things never went his way.

They didn't go his way when he got the guts to try and see if Kate wanted something more. He knew she did seeing the way her eyes changed when he asked her. But her past just kept enabling her from letting anyone in close to her. She's afraid.

Why couldn't he help her?

That was simple. She didn't want help. Her independence takes over too much. He knew she had spent most of her life by herself. She didn't like the idea of having to rely on someone. To scared they wouldn't come through for her. She was tired of being let down or the other way around. She was tired of letting people down.

It was so odd that she had let her guard down that whole week after she got hurt. She relied on him in the slightest, but still felt guilty about it. She was scared of looking weak in front of him. He didn't see her as weak. If anything she was stronger than he was. She was a fighter with her past being the ring she fought in. For most of it he was on her side, but every once in a while he switched sides and attacked her. And now he had her pinned in a corner.

Should he back down or continue to fight her till she gave up?

Going over everything in his head he pushed it all out and focused on one decision.

He needed to go after her.

He needed to apologize and try his hardest get back on her side. He hated when he tried to fight her. He knew it was wrong for him to even think of doing so.

Taking a deep breath he headed through the house. Grabbing his keys off the kitchen counter he raced through the living room to the front door. Walking down the driveway he got to his SUV and got in. Starting the car he pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street. Still questions loomed in his mind.

Where was she?

What was he going to say?

Most of all he asked himself;

Was she going to listen?

He drove past the first place that popped into his mind. Charlie and Claire's. Slowly driving by he saw his truck nowhere in sight. She wasn't there. Once he thought about it he realized she never talked about her problems. Why would she go the their house? She'd have to talk.

He stopped at the end of the their street. Going through his mind trying to think of all the places she could be. Then it hit him.

Her apartment.

The only place she could truly be alone. No people. Just herself. She didn't have to answer to anyone there. It made perfect sense.

Putting his SUV in gear he turned down the street. Heading down the black road with nervousness in his stomach, he hoped she was there. There was nowhere else he thought she could be. There was the possibility that she was in the hospital like she had been nearly two weeks before, but he didn't want to jump to that conclusion. He didn't want to think someone other than him hurt her again.

Kate sat on her bed with her hands bound together. She watched Jason hurry around her room throwing things to the floor and up against the wall. He was looking for something.

He came to her dresser and stopped to look at the few picture the adorned it. Pictures of her and the other survivors. Of her and Jack. He picked up the one with Jack. Staring at it for a moment he let out a chuckle.

"Some guy your screwing?" He asked showing her the picture.

Stealing a glance she saw it was the one of Jack kissing her cheek. She loved that picture. It was back when things weren't so complicated. It was the way she wished things could be.

"I guess so." He shrugged dropping it to the floor with the other pictures.

Pulling out her drawers he picked through her clothing. Throwing some of it to her, dropping the rest of it to the carpet. Then he stopped. Brining his hand up she locked her eyes upon what he had in it. Tom's airplane. He had found what he wanted.

Her lips parted with a gasp as he stared at it. Turning to her, his face lit up with a sinister smile.

"A toy airplane."

Slowly he began to walk towards her. Glancing from the airplane to her.

"You found me." He continued stopping in front of her.

"Seduced me, got me and my friends to hold up a bank…" He continued as he twirled the plane around in front of her.

With every movement of the toy her eyes followed. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes thinking back to what that toy represented. What it meant. What she went through to get it.

"All for a fucking toy airplane!" He yelled.

He quickly took the plane up in his hand causing Kate to look up to him. He stared down to her with that anger in his eyes. Kneeling between her legs he leaned in close to her. She was scared by his closeness, but more so of the gun still in his hand resting on her thigh.

"Was it worth it?"

"Every minute." She whispered never moving her stare from his eyes.

His hand quickly latched onto her neck cutting off her breathing. Pushing her back to the bed, he straddled her waist. Putting all his weight on her so she couldn't move, he let go of her neck and slowly traced his finger down her chest.

As breath hit her lungs she felt an awkwardly familiar feeling. A feeling she hadn't felt since the island. Since before she got shot. This made her panic more along with the horror that she was going to be raped.

Her eyes came wide as he raised the gun from her thigh. Brining it to the temple of her head her eyes flickered shut. Only for a brief minute as he slowly ran it down the side of her face. Resting it at the base of her neck his other hand came to grip her breast as he leaned in.

"I hope it was worth it, because it's going to be worth screwing you over it." He growled as he lowered his head to her neck.

His lips upon her bare skin as he pulled away her clothes was agony to Kate. She felt helpless under him. She couldn't move. Too scared he'd go farther and make it worse. But how could it possibly get any worse than this, she thought. It could only if he got his way.

Her breaths became short as the familiar feeling started to come on strong. It was forcing its way to win over her body the way he was. Sooner or later her body would give up to it like it would him.

Going to open her mouth the feeling pushed it's way out and she began to cough. Closing her lips she held it in feeling her throat closing in upon it's self. Taking in a deep breath she tried to remain calm. It was a hard thing to do as Jason began to unbutton her shirt.

"Jas-"

She stopped short of breath as she began to cough again with tears dripping on her forced breaths.

"Jason please." She cried.

He glanced up to her with a raised brow.

"Please what?"

Words couldn't make their way out of her mouth as she choked down her breath.

"Begging ain't gonna help you. It's just going to make it worse." He warned pointing the gun in her face.

Placing the gun back to her chest, he lowered his head again. She flinched back feeling his tongue across her skin. Moving his other hand across her breast, he went back to unbuttoning her shirt.

Kate turned her head to the bed. Tears streamed down her face as her weak breaths became wheezes. Her body shook under his touch. It was becoming more than a loosing battle of control with him It was a battle to keep herself conscious.

Seeing his truck parked in front of her building Jack felt relieved. Parking his SUV next to the truck he got out. He felt nervous as he entered the building. All the thoughts of what happened and what could happen ran through his mind. But there was on thought that he never would have thought about when he came to the door of her apartment.

Coming to see it was locked, he pulled out his keys. He had secretly had a copy of her's made just in case. He really didn't know if this was a just in case moment, but it didn't matter.

Closing the door behind him, he was thrown into darkness. He thought to call out her name, but decided against it thinking it might startle her. Stepping into the room alitttle more he was caught by an orange glow coming from down the hall. She was in her bedroom.

He could picture it now. Her lying on the bed curled up into a ball crying her eyes out. Things thrown across the room. Pictures of him broken. All the pictures in his mind couldn't have prepared him for what he saw as he approached the room.

His eyes became wide at the sight before him. Things were indeed thrown across the room. There were pictures of him broken on the floor. But she wasn't curled up on her bed crying. Instead she lay with her feet hung over the end of the bed. Some man on top of her leaving marks and kisses across her chest.

His heart sank. She was on the verge of having sex with some guy that she probably didn't know. Something she was doing just to get over what he had done. Something she'd regret in the morning.

Pulling back from the doorway he pressed his back up against the wall. Still he couldn't look away from it as he held back tears of anger and guilt at the same time.

What was he supposed to do?

Stop her? Let her do it?

Then his mind stopped. He looked down to the side of her body and spotted something that put his mind into a different order. This guy was holing a gun so close to her chest that if his finger slipped she'd be dead in an instant.

Was this part of their little game or was this guy holding her against her will?

He got his answer the minute he heard her almost inaudible cry as she tried to struggle underneath him. Quickly he forced her back down and continued pealing her clothes back.

Jack stood there and watched him slip her shirt off her arms and throw it to the top of the bed. When he moved Jack caught a glimpse of Kate. In that moment he felt as if he had been shot in the stomach. Her eyes were watery and pain stricken with her lips quivering as she pleaded with this man. This wasn't something she was apart of willingly. This man was forcing her to lie there underneath him as he ravaged her body.

Seeing her face was all Jack needed to push him to do what he had to do.

"Get your hands off of her."

Jason stopped and glanced up to Kate who had jumped at the voice behind him. With a groan he sat up and looked back to see Jack.

Kate gasped her tired breath back into her mouth and closed her lips around it. When she saw him her heart stopped beating. Immediately she began to subconsciously thank God.

"Who. The. Hell. Are. You?" Jason asked as he stood up.

Kate thought to sit up and try something, but figured it was best to stay lying down and keep her eyes on Jack.

He turned his eyes to Jason who was staring him down while he fiddled with the gun in his hand. Jack eyed for a moment thinking if this got out of hand that might be pointed at his head. He shrugged off the fear knowing it wouldn't matter if he got shot as long as Kate was ok. He wasn't afraid.

"I'm here to stop you from doing whatever you were planning on doing with her." He replied glancing over to Kate who was slowly getting her breath back.

Jason let out a chuckle as he looked back to Kate.

"Do you know this guy?"

Kate said nothing. To scared to. To scared if she said yes Jason would do something to Jack. Jack didn't deserve that. Jason didn't want Jack. He wanted Kate.

Jason shook his head as both him and Kate looked back to Jack. Both waiting for what he was going to do.

"So Mr. Hero think he can stop me from getting what I want?" He asked slowly walking up to Jack.

"Think again." He said raising gun in front of Jack's face.

Kate closed her eyes as tears came on again. She couldn't just sit there and do nothing, but there was nothing she could really do sitting there with her hands bound. Her eyes quickly looked down to her hands. She thought about it as she stared at the tape that bound them together.

Looking up to the two her heart sank as Jason slowly backed up towards the bed still pointing the gun to Jack. If she was going to do anything it was now or never. Brining her hands to her mouth she bit onto a loose end of the tape. Tugging with all her might she tore it down the middle. Ripping the last bit her hands were free.

Pulling the tape back of her wrists she looked up to the two making sure she could make her move. Cautiously she stood. Catching Jack's attention she wished he hadn't glanced over to her. It caused Jason to look back too. Quickly he turned around.

"He-"

Before he could get the gun pointed at her, her arms were around his neck. She reached out to his hand and tried to grab the gun. He struggled against her and ultimately turned her around. Pushing all of his weight on her, the two went tumbling to the bed behind them.

They began to fight and kick each other as Kate tried to grab for the gun. Gripping the barrel she felt him put his finger in front of the trigger. She became scared seeing he had it pointed right at her stomach. With all of her might she pushed in into the air before her fired it.

Dry wall from the ceiling came crashing down on top of them. Still they didn't break apart. Even when Jack came to the side of the bed and began grabbing for the gun himself they didn't pull back. Instead Jason's elbow flew up and side swiped Jack across the jaw sending his back against the wall.

Jason quickly came back and got a hold of the gun. Kate's eyes became wide as he forcefully drove it into her chest nearly knocking the wind from her. She froze as his hand latched around the handle and he pressed the gun harder to her skin.

"I've always wanted to watch you die." He growled spitting the blood that dripped from his lips across her face.

Her eyes never moved from the gun as she watched his slip his finger in front of the trigger. Quickly her mind raced with so many thoughts and memories. Her life flashed before her eyes, but all came into focus when she saw him squeeze his finger back. All she could do was react.

Her hands came up and she pushed herself away before the gunshot echoed through the apartment along with her screams.

"AHHH!"

Jack looked up with her scream and the gunshot to see her curled up into a ball. He thought she had been shot till he saw the hole in the bed next to her. Jason had barely missed her.

The world blacked out for a moment and she didn't feel or hear anything until she felt a body jump onto the bed. Her first thought was that she was alive. Opening her eyes she saw Jack jump over her and push Jason to the ground taking her with them.

Sliding down the edge of the bed the world came back into focus as she watched the two men in front of her fight and scramble for the gun lying on the floor. She thought to lunge for it and take her change, but before she could move a hand grabbed a hold of it.

She stopped and pressed her self up against the bed as she watched in horror. Jack was pressed up against the wall the gun pointed up into his neck with Jason holding the gun.

The feeling came back and quick. Her stomach turned as her lungs and throat closed. She began to take deep painful gasps as her body shook. Her eyes were fixed on Jack's as he stared Jason down. Oddly she saw no fear.

"See I told you your sad attempt to save her ass wouldn't work." Jason snickered.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" Jack groaned as Jason pressed the gun harder.

Jason shook his head as he slowly looked over his shoulder to Kate. She was now curled into a tight ball with knees pressed hard to her chest. Shaking back to forth as she fought for breath and control of her body. Her eyes still focused on Jack's who's suddenly filled with fear as he looked at her.

He knew what was happening. She was having a panic attack. It was a too familiar sight to him. All those times on the island. He thought what ever she had that caused this had gone away. He was wrong. He became scared. Scared for her. Scared knowing he couldn't stop it and calm her down. He knew she was panicked at the sight of him being held at gunpoint, which brought on the attack he guessed. But he knew the fact that she was panicking scared her more.

"Kate I want you to watch as I kill you're little boyfriend here." Jason announced with a grin.

Kate couldn't look away from Jack. Her eyes were telling him what her breathless voice could not. She was scared. And the more and more stronger the attack became the more she began to fear.

The world around her way vague and all she could focus on was the two men in front of her and the growing terror inside of her. She couldn't feel the tears roll down her cheeks as she watched Jack look away from her. Then she saw why he looked away. She saw him look down to the gun that was now pointed at his chest as Jason continued to rant.

He was thinking of going for the gun while Jason's attention was turned. He could do it. It was no doubt in either of their minds, but it was too risky.

Kate shook her head violently trying to tell Jack not to do it, but Jason took it as her motioning to him.

"What do you mean no?" He questioned catching Kate's attention.

"Who's going to st-"

Kate gasped in fright as Jack grabbed the gun. Jason turned back swung the gun up into Jack's face. Stunned by the blow he still held onto the gun trying his best to point it away from himself and back to Jason.

The two wrestled each other against the wall. Twisting their hands around slamming them into the wall. Kate tried to keep her eyes on the gun the whole time, but soon she pulled away when the gun came between them. Her heart began to beat faster when she couldn't see the gun. Then it stopped.

BANG

The gun went off. Both men froze and Kate tensed up with a scream as she looked to both their faces. Both held an expression of surprise with their eyes drawn wide and their mouths agape grasping for air. Their intense gazes never parted as both stood still.

Her heart began to pound in her chest as she took deep quick breaths. Her eyes were stapled to Jason as he slumped over onto Jack who was still motionless against the wall. Slowly Jason's body fell limp and slithered down Jack's. His body came to the floor with a loud thump.

Kate looked up to Jack who stared off into nowhere. Glancing down she saw blood splattered across his shirt with the gun held out in his shaking hand. He let go of it and let it fall to his feet next to Jason's body. Still his eyes didn't move and they didn't even blink till he slowly slid down the wall to the floor.

She thought she should go over to him. Sit with him, but she couldn't move. Every time she looked down and saw Jason's body her throat began to close causing her to hold her breath and her body to shake. Closing her eyes she tired to push it all out. But it all played before her as she lowed her head to her knees and tried to calm down.

Jack finally looked over to her. His heart began to pound faster as he saw her back heave up and down in quick labored movements. He could hear her faint breath as she struggled to breathe. He wanted to get up and comfort her. Tell her it was all right. But he couldn't. Not with this body that lay in front of him.

Looking away from her he looked down to Jason. He had no idea who this man was, but he knew he had hurt Kate somehow. He had seen him do it. Thinking about that alone justified him shooting this man. And with that thought his breath nearly escaped him. He had shot this man.

Pressing his head back up against the wall he looked back over to Kate who was now trembling. Still he couldn't push himself to get up and go over to her. No matter how hard it hurt him to see her that way he couldn't just walk over the fact that there was a man he shot laying in front of him.

Closing his eyes he listened to the sound of her troubled breathing. The more and more he did the more and more it tore him apart. Then he heard her faintly beginning to count. Letting all the fear in one second at a time. She went way past five seconds and with every additional second she sounded like she was calming down. It eased Jack, but not enough. Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and began to count himself.

The sounds of sirens filled the other wise quiet room as police cars pulled up in the parking lot outside the apartment building. Both heard them and knew this was the end for them. They were going to go to jail and never see the light of day. It was the place Kate hated the most.

They burst through the front door and ran down the hall to the bedroom. Jack jerked his head up as three cops stopped in the doorway and stared down to him and Jason.

"We need a medic!" One screamed down the hall.

Jack watched as he tiptoed around the room. Slowly approaching him. Immediately Jack looked over to Kate who was still hunched over. He could see she was beginning to panic again as she gripped her knees tighter and he heard her breath quickly become worse.

"Sir would you like to explain what happened here?"

Jack blinked slowly and glanced up to the officer standing above him. Licking his lips and taking a deep breath he preceded to tell him.

He started with him and Kate's fight. Telling him she ran out. He knew she'd come back to her apartment so that was where he headed. When he got there this guy was on top of Kate, had her bound by the hand and a gun to her chest while he was trying to forcibly undressing her. So he stepped in and tried to stop it. This guy ended up pointing the gun at him.

Kate got loose and jumped on him trying to get the gun away. They ended up wrestling and firing off two shots one in the ceiling the other in the bed. After getting hit by the man, Jack jumped on him and tried to get the gun back. He ended up against the wall with the gun in his face again. And again they fought for the gun. It got so heated trying to get the gun for one another, Jack ended up hitting the gun the wrong way and it fired shooting Jason.

He didn't miss a beat as he told his side of the story to the officer. Everyone once and awhile he'd look away as they put Jason on a stretcher and rushed him out. Then his eyes would turn back to the officer as he continued the story.

"It was self defense." Jack whispered.

"Self defense?"

"Yes sir."

Another officer walked up to them as he eyed the floor. Jack followed his eyes to see Kate still on the floor. She was getting worse and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Self defense? You sure?" The approaching officer asked the other.

"Why don't we ask her?" He continued calling the other officers attention over to Kate.

"She seems a little shaken. I'd like to hear her side of the story." The first officer said glancing back to Jack who had an uninterrupted gaze with Kate.

Turning back the officer slowly approached Kate.

"Mama' " He called crouching down in front of Kate.

Her head jerked up and the sight of her put the officers back. Her skin was pure white and eyes wide as she stared at them. Her breath was worse. She was tanking deep breaths trying to put herself at ease, but it wasn't working.

She went to swallow her breath and immediately she began to convulse. Her body started to shake as she looked up to Jack gasping for breath.

"What's wrong with her?" The officer asked looking back to Jack.

Jack didn't know what was wrong with her that was the problem. He was at a loss for words as he stared down at her as she begged him with her eyes. This mysterious illness she got for Ethan's knife was still foreign even to him, but he couldn't tell them that.

"She's having a panic attack.' Jack whispered slowly walking towards her.

"Step back sir." The officer warned walking up to him.

"She needs water." Jack said turning to him.

"We need water!" Another officer yelled down the hall.

A woman came in and handed the officer kneeling before Kate a water bottle. As she left her leaned in and tried to offer the water to Kate. She didn't see it. Her eyes were fixed on Jack who stood almost as helpless as her.

"Come on drink it." The officer said handing it to Kate again.

Again she didn't take it. She just stared up to Jack waiting for him to come help her and he knew she would let anyone but him do so. He tried for it again.

"I said step back sir!" The officer repeated looking to Jack.

"She needs me. She's scared and isn't going to let anyone else near her." Jack explained.

"And why how do you know that?'

"I'm her doctor."

The officer looked away with a sigh. Turning back to Jack he handed him the water bottle. Jack took it and quickly came to the floor in front of Kate.

"Kate…' Jack said unscrewing the lid.

"I need you to drink this."

Brining the bottle to her lips he waited for her to take a sip, but like always when this happened she had trouble. She put her lips around it as Jack tilted the bottle up. Taking in the cool liquid she tried to swallow it, but she did it too fast. Her throat quickly closed up and she began to choke. Taking her hand he tried to comfort her.

"Take it slow." He reminded her brining the bottle to her lips again.

He expected her to listen and take another sip. She didn't. She sat still staring into his eyes as she gripped his hand tight. Her eyes quickly became wide as her body flinched.

"Kate?" Jack questioned setting the bottle down.

He didn't know what was happening. She hadn't done this before. Before he could figure it out she took a short breath. Her eyes quavered as her lids struggled to stay open. It was a loosing battle. Quickly her eyes began to close as she went limp in his arms.

"No. No. No."

"Stay with me Kate!' He begged her as he lightly tapped the side of his face.

With a light exhale she was out. Her body motionless in his arms. This was all too familiar to Jack. It was the sight and feeling that haunted his dreams nearly every night. He wasn't going to let it get that far out of hand this time.

Sliding his hand out from under her he checked for her pulse. It was there and stable. He checked her breath seeing it had returned to normal. He felt a weight lift off of his shoulders realizing she had simply passed of from lack of oxygen.

"We need a medic!" One of the officers screamed.

Jack didn't pay attention. He simply held her in arms close to his blood-covered body as tears trickledown his face.

"Is she ok?" The officer asked fear hinted on his voice.

"Yeah. She just passed out." Jack smiled looking to him over his shoulder.

"What's with the tears then?"

"Just happy she's ok."

In an instant the officer body language changed. He quickly understood all of this. He believed Jack's claim. He believed it was self-defense. He believed that Jack just trying to save Kate.

When the medic came in, Jack helped her get Kate up onto the stretcher. He explained her condition to the best of his knowledge as they strapped her down. As they prepared to take her out Jack was by her side ready to follow.

"Wait sir!" The second officer called.

Jack and the medic both stopped.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to go with her. If not she's going to go into another pani-"

"Go ahead." The first officer interrupted.

The second officer looked over to the first in question along with Jack.

"Go with her, we'll continue our questioning at the hospital."

"Thank you." Jack said shaking his hand.

"Not a problem." The officer smiled.

Jack nodded his head as he turned back to Kate's side.

"I'm officer Mills by the way." Officer Mills said.

"I'll be sure to catch up at the hospital." Jack called back as he walked down the hall along side Kate's stretcher.

They ended up at Jack's hospital. Everyone began to gossip as Jack came in covered in blood with two unconscious bodies behind him. Jason quickly went into surgery. Kate was set up in the same side room she was last time.

Once Jack was assured by Cathy that she was ok and they'd keep a close eye on her, he was led off to a secluded hallway to further the questioning. Officer Mills seemed more at ease this time around. He and Jack went over what happened two more times and every time Jack came through with the same story. He began to ask who the man was. Jack said it was probably someone from Kate's past. He really had no idea.

Mills started on another list of questions as the second officer, now know as Officer Franz came walking up.

"We found this on the bed next to the bullet hole." Franz said extending his hand to Mills.

Mills took it and turned back to Jack.

"Look familiar?" Mills asked extending a toy airplane to Jack.

"It's Kate's." Jack whispered realizing what it was.

It was the toy plane that had been in the case with the guns. The one that belonged to the man she loved the man she had killed.

"Would this have anything to do with what happened tonight?" Mills asked.

"Don't know. Ask Kate." Jack suggested.

"I tried. She isn't talking." Franz said.

"She's up?" Jack questioned with a hint of joy.

"Yeah. Only been so for about five minutes."

Mills looked to Franz with idea sparked in his eyes.

"Maybe you should go talk to her Jack." Mills suggested.

"She'll probably talk to you."

"What do you want her to say?" Jack asked.

"We need her to tell you or us the same story you told, but it can't be influence in anyway." Mills explained.

"And how are you going to make sure that happens?" Jack asked.

"We'll be close and listening to what she says and you say.' Franz said.

Jack didn't agree with them using him to get Kate to talk and he didn't like forcing her to talk, but if it was going to clear them both her had to do it.

"Ok." Jack sighed.

Mills handed Jack the toy plane with a smile. With another sigh, Jack turned and headed down the hall towards where Kate was.

Walking around the separating curtain he saw her. Sitting Indian style on the bed dressed in her pans and a hospital gown with the hospital blanket wrapped around her legs. She was bent over playing with a loose piece of thread. Her softened curls falling in her beaten face. The look she had was lifeless.

"Hey there." He said breaking the silence.

She didn't say anything. She didn't even look up at him. She didn't move. She sat perfectly still in a daze with the thread wrapped around her finger.

With a deep breath he stepped closer to the bed seeing if she would do anything, still nothing. Looking away and down to his hand he saw the toy airplane. Looking back up to Kate he started to feel sick knowing what he had to do. Slowly he extended it out to her where she could see it. When she didn't take it or even acknowledge it he simply set it down on the bed in front of her and turned away.

Picking up and chair he turned back to put it closer to the bed. His eyes never moved from her as he came to sit down. When he finally did he felt better to see her pick the plane from the bed. She at least was showing some sign of life.

He sat there watching her clutch the toy plane in her hand. Still she said nothing. She didn't look at him either. Her attention was so caught up in that plane. It had to have some significance with what happened.

"Does that have something to do with what happened tonight?" He asked leaning in over the bed.

She didn't say anything. She just continued to sit the motionless and wordless. Then she took the plane and began to twirl it in the air. Following it closely with her eyes. He realized she wasn't going to tell him anything. Why had he even thought this would work? Maybe because he wanted it too.

Pulling himself away again he slumped back in chair. Eyes still focused on her as she played with the toy.

Watching herself weave the plane around in the air, thoughts quickly flooded her mind. Thoughts of Tom and of Jason. She had really screwed up both of their lives just for the sake of herself. She had used Jason to get into a safe deposit box to recover this toy plane. The toy plane that belonged to the man she loved. It was such a small thing, yet held such meaning. It was the only thing she had to remind her what was and what happened because of her selfishness.

Glancing over to Jack through her messy curls she began to feel the same way. Because of her she had probably gotten him convicted of manslaughter. His medical license was going to be taken from him and he was going to probably end up in jail. All because of her. Because of her stupid mistakes she made in her past and just happened to trail with her into the present.

He didn't deserve it.

Lowering her eyes back to the bed they fixed onto the toy plane.

"His name was Tom."

Jack looked up to her in surprise as she talked. For a minute he thought he was imagining it, but when she looked over to him he couldn't help but lean in.

"Who was Tom?" Jack questioned.

"The man I loved. The man I killed." She whispered looking back to the toy plane.

"He put this plane in a memory box we made when we were like ten. We thought we'd be together forever…" She began becoming once again entranced with the plane.

"Things changed and I went on the run. Soon after he fell in love again, married, and started a new life. I didn't forget him. No matter how many men I came across I always loved him. Then I got letter from him one day telling me my mother's cancer had gotten worse. That she was going have an operation…." She continued as tears dropped from her face to the bed.

"I went to go see him and we ended up digging up our memory box. The plane was still inside it. The next day….I went to see my mother. She got startled and I tried to flee before anyone came in and saw me. I got past a couple guards and out to Tom's car… he wouldn't let me leave, so he got into the car with me. The cops had a blockade at the end of the street. I didn't think and just went for it. I ended up crashing into a parked car which stopped me….."

She stopped for a second as the tears and the memories became too much.

"I looked over and I saw Tom bent over… blood all over his face and chest. When I leaned over to look at …him…. I realized he was….de-"

She stopped as she began to sob uncontrollably. Raising her shaky hand, she brought the plane to her trembling lips as she cried.

Jack's face was brought down in sorrow at hearing her words. After all this time of fighting and begging her to tell him, she did. He didn't push her. She just let it out. This wasn't what he had expected. It was far from what he had been thinking all these months.

His own tears came to his eyes as he watched her break down. Getting up he sat next to her on the bed. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her close him.

"It's ok Kate." He whimpered tucking a piece of her fallen hair behind her ear.

Putting his arm back around her he squeezed her gently up against him as he caressed her arm. Feeling her shake within his arms made him feel almost powerless, if he had any power to begin with. Seeing her like this over something he didn't even see as her fault tore him down. All he could do was hold her.

His arms comforted her as she tortured herself. She didn't know why she kept dwelling on things from her past. It was because they'd always come back to haunt her. They'd never leave her alone. Someone, something, or some place always came back to remind her of what she did.

After awhile she calmed down and was ready to talk. She explained everything about Jason while she fiddled with the plane. She told them he admitted to being the one who attacked her two weeks before. Also she dished out one of her darkest secrets just to keep Jack out of prison. She didn't really care about herself. As long as Jack walked away from this a clean man.

And he did. They ruled in self-defense. It made it an easier to claim that when test results came back saying Jason was on quiet a bit of hallucinogenic drugs. They were also informed that Jason didn't make it.

That hung heavy on both their consciences, but more so Kate. She quickly went silent again with the news. Jack felt bad, but still passed it off seeing Kate ok and standing next to him. Kate on the other hand felt horrible. She saw that after what she did to him she would have deserved what he would have done. But what happened, happened and no one could change that. They'd both have to live with that for the rest of their lives.

The car ride home from the hospital was silent. Jack didn't really mind it, but was worried about Kate. She was blaming herself for what happen and he knew it. He could see the guilt in her eyes. She was blaming herself the way she blamed herself for Tom all these years. It was going to be something that pulled at her forever.

"I want you to know something Kate…" Jack began looking back and forth between her and the road.

"What happened tonight wasn't your fault. He was sic-"

"He was trying to get revenge for what I did to him Jack." Kate cried looking over to him.

"I know that's what he said. And I have to admit what you did wasn't the best thing you should have done, but I'm not going to judge and punish you because of mistakes you've made. Just like he shouldn't have."

"But you do Jack. You punish me and judge me every time you want to know something about my past."

He became silent wit her words. She was right. He did, but his actions don't justify what Jason did and tried to do. He needed to get that through her head.

"I wasn't going to let him hurt you. No matter what you did in the past it should matter now. Not to him or me. What happened was an accident. It wasn't your fault." He finished looking over to her.

She turned away and looked out the window. She couldn't look him in the face without crying. This night was just too much for her and she didn't feel like talking about it.

Walking into the house they were quiet. Quiet like they had been the rest of the ride home. Scuffling her feet across the carpet, Kate walked into the kitchen with Jack following right behind her. She stopped and sat up against the counter. In the darkness she watched him walk around. Setting down both pair of keys, he walked over to the trashcan. Without a look or acknowledge he tossed the blood soaked shirt.

Turning back he caught Kate's gaze as she watched him. With a slight smile he walked up to her.

"You still hurting?" He asked.

She nodded her head as she looked away from him.

"Let me take a look." He said switching the lights on.

The light from the moon hanging in the night sky wasn't going to cut it. Neither did the horrible hospital lights. Once the lights came up both jumped to see each other's beaten and bloody faces. She could see the cuts on his nose where Jason had hit with the gun. Bruises outlined the lower part of his jaw where he had been elbowed.

She was no better. A cut soiled her newly healed lip. Bruises accented the deepness of her cheekbones. She bore a striking resemblance to herself two weeks ago.

"No different from any other day of the week." He said with a grin.

She couldn't help, but smile. No matter how bad she felt inside or out, his smile made her feel somewhat better.

"Turn around." He said pulling at her shirt.

Slowly she out her back to him. Her body shivered when his hands rubbed against her skin as he lifted up the hospital gown. She tried her hardest to look back and see what he was looking out, but she couldn't bend that far.

"Don't look that bad."

"What don't look that bad?" She questioned as she lowered her shirt.

"Where the bullet he shot into the mattress grazed your skin." He said looking back up into her eyes.

"Oh." She replied never breaking from his stare.

It became silent like it always did between them, but still their eyes were locked on each other. Trying to read each other's thoughts.

"How about a bath?" Jack suggested.

"Warm water would feel good on that." He smiled pointing to her back.

"Ok." Kate answered not even giving herself time to think about it.

He was taken back by her quick answer, but he wasn't going to complain. She was easing up.

The two followed each other closely into the bedroom. Jack headed for the bathroom as Kate gathered some clean clothes. She tried to comfort herself hearing the running water. With a deep breath she placed the clothes on the bed. She walked cautiously into the bathroom. Jack's eyes quickly shot up to her.

She stood meekly by the door watching him as he sat next to the filling tub. With a smile he raised a bottle of bubble bath in the air.

"Bubbles?"

A crooked smile came to her lips.

"Sure."

Pouring the red liquid into the water, he came to his feet. His eyes fixed back to her waiting for her next move.

"You want me to turn around?"

Kate became squirmy thinking about Jack seeing her naked. It wasn't a big deal to her to be naked, but this was Jack. She had to think about it. Then again he had seen her with most of her clothes off already.

"Actually could you untie me?" She asked turning around and motioning to her hospital gown.

His stomach dropped to his feet. Slowly he walked over to her. His hands trembling for some reason as he grasped the material. As the string became free he stepped back and let her drop the gown to the floor.

Her hands didn't come up to cover her breasts like he thought they would. Instead she openly began to undo and pull down her pants. When they came to growing pile of clothes at her feet Jack had to pull himself back from the sight. There before him Kate stood almost completely naked. Not trying to hide a thing from, him. He began to wonder.

Once her hands came to her underwear and she began to slide them down he turned. That was where he drew the line at that moment for himself. With all the feelings he had for her and with the ones that worked themselves up that night the last thing he needed was to see her naked.

Still that didn't stop him completely. The tub was full and he needed to turn off the water. Going to do so he bent down. Turning it off he came to stand back up; when he did he was faced with her again. Standing there now completely naked. It was taking him every ounce of strength not to look at her, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't have sworn the way she was looking at him she wanted him to.

His eyes wondered from her saddened face down her and over her skin. He felt sad seeing all the bruises, scars, and cuts. The one that got him the most was the one right above her right breast. It was from when he shot her.

"You want me to help you?" He almost stammered as he extended his hand.

She willingly took it. Coming up behind her he helped her step up into the foam filled water. In that moment his hand wondered up to her bare side helping her balance. They didn't let go of each other until she was completely submerged up to her neck. With that Jack could breathe.

Kate's body quickly took to the heat. It was soothing to the core. Almost good enough to wash away her sins. Looking up to Jack as he stood idling behind her, her heart began to beat fast again. She didn't know why she had let him see her naked. Why she had just walked up to him. She had to admit his face was priceless. Looking up to him she could still see the shock on his face.

"If you need any-"

"Actually I was wondering if you stay and keep me company?" She asked.

"After what happened I don't want to be alone."

"Sure." He smiled with heavy exhale.

Her eyes never left him as he came to the floor next to the bath. She just watched how he tried to hide what he wanted to say to her. And she knew there was something, because you don't see one of your best friends naked and stay quiet.

Silence provoked them. Guilt came with that silence, for Kate. She sat comfortably amongst the bubbles that felt almost like velvet over her battered skin. Running her hand over her skin she felt worse and worse with each cut or bruise she came across. For some they were badges of honor. For her they were reminders of dumb things she had done.

Her eyes wondered over the water to Jack who still sat on the floor next to her. His head hung with his eyes fixed on his fingers as he picked at them. His face was brought down telling her something was bothering him. She wanted to ask, but thought about what she would want him to do if they switched places.

She looked back to the bubbles as he looked up to her. Seeing her sit staring to the bubbles in a heavyhearted daze he knew she was again feeling the guilt of the nights events. But he really could blame her? He was doing the same.

His eyes wondering her body, stopping at every mark like her eyes had before him. Instead of banishing them as brands of past mistakes he studied them. Wanted to know their stories, which were most likely, her secrets. His eyes again came focused on the scar on her chest.

The guilt set in.

It lay there permanently in her skin to remind him of what happened. All that happened leading up to that dreadful showdown that ended so horribly. It reminded him of what he could and couldn't do. He could fix her physically, but not emotionally or spiritually. He could, but couldn't heal her in the same ways. No matter how hard he tried he would have to realize he could only save her from death, but not from life.

Taking a deep breath he shook it out of his head. He didn't like to dwell on the past, but sometimes he couldn't like she couldn't. He had to admit it took him a while to let things go; yet there were still things he held onto deep down.

Grabbing the sponge from the back of the bath, he dipped it into the water quickly catching her attention. She watched him carefully as he squeezed the sponge, letting all the water out.

"Lean forward." He whispered.

Hesitant, she leaned forward against her knees. A quickly shiver racked up her spine and surged through her body when she felt the damp sponge on her back. She had to admit it felt good. He moved it around ever so lightly making it feel as if feathers were waltzing across her back. Leaning her head forward to rest on her knees she let the sensation kick in as her eyes flutter shut.

He glanced up to her as she twitched ever so lightly. Her eyes were closed with her head rested on her knees. The dark curls dangling over and sticking to her body. Looking to her back he couldn't help, but smile. She looked so relaxed in that moment. Almost like an angel sleeping to him.

Sucking in his lips he fought against his smile. Running his tongue along his bottom lip he took in a breath. Dipping his hand along with the sponge into the lukewarm water, he held back from releasing his breath. He was trying to test himself in some way. But once he guided the sponge up over her shoulder and down her arm he could help but let it go. And with that he let everything that had plagued him in that moment go too.

Feeling the feathery like tickle move over her arm, Kate's heavy lids parted. Looking up through her steamy surroundings to see him running the sponge down her arm and back into the water. Her eyes stopped and didn't follow his hand. She was fixed on his other hand gripping the side of porcelain tub. It was cut and torn with bloody scabs across each knuckle. Dry blood splatters here and there.

She quickly lost the sense of tranquility seeing his hand. This was the hand in which he held the gun that shot Jason. Her face became pulled down as her eyes filled for tears for the countless time that day.

He saw her sullen stare and turned his. He had no idea what she was looking at if anything.

"What?" He asked.

Her eyes locked with his and then turned back to his hand.

"Your hand Jack." She winded reaching her bubble covered pruney hand.

The second the water dripped down over his skin he pulled his hand back wincing in obvious pain.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He assured her resting it back on the edge of the tub.

"A little pain is worth making sure you're ok." He smiled leisurely putting his unhurt hand back into the water.

Kate's eyes wondered from his hand up to him for a brief second and then settled back on his hand. His words struck her. He didn't care if he got hurt as long as she was ok. She didn't understand that. She had never known any man to feel that way towards her. To risk his own life just so she could be safe in hers.

It almost made her cry as an overwhelming feeling came over her. She didn't understand why this suddenly came at her hearing his words. Maybe it was the fact that he cared that much for her. The only other person that came close to that was Tom, but he more so wanted her to be safe than happy. Jack seemed to try and do anything to see that she had both happiness and safety.

He really honestly cared for her. All those times he went parading out into the jungle after her or when she got attacked and he stayed by her side nearly every minute of every day. And then there was tonight. He risked going to jail and even death to save her. He was willing to put everything aside for her.

All the feelings and thoughts in that moment were racking her brain. She didn't know how to feel. But when she looked up and caught his eyes she was quickly over come by emotion.

Lifting her hand out of the water again, she brought it to the side of his face. Slowly running her fingers down his jaw she traced over the bruises ever so gently. Resting it in the crook his neck she looked up into his eyes.

Her heart pounded as she leaned forward and placed her lips to his. Instantly they both let their hidden feelings take control. Jack was a bit taken back by her sudden displays of affection. He had to admit that this kiss startled him more than seeing her naked.

Slowly she pulled back and looked again up into his eyes.

"What was that for?" He questioned.

"Thank you." She whispered against his lips.

'For what?"

"Saving my life again."

"Well I can't help that you're life always needs saving." He said without laughter as he stared deep into her eyes.

Licking her lips she went to kiss him again, but was beat to the punch. Kissing her back his hand came up out of the water to the back of her string hair as he held her to him. Their kiss deepened as their lips parted and their tongues moved with one another. The same went for their hands as Kate wrapped her self around his neck pulling him closer to her.

As she pulled him towards the tub his hand slipped off the edge and he lost his balance. Quickly her came crashing down on top of her and into the water. Water was splashed ever where as the Jack struggled to pull out of the water.

Pulling away from the kiss he began to laugh as gaining his balance proved to difficult for him. She couldn't help but laugh at him as he slipped and slid all over the tub. Pressing her hands to his chest she helped him sit back.

Finally he got a hold of the edge of the tub. Putting all his weight on his hands he pushed himself up and out of the tub. Slowly her hands slithered down his now soaked chest as he stood over her. She looked up to him with a grin from ear to ear knowing she was the cause of this. Giving her a narrow stare he pulled his shirt over his head and rang it out over her.

Shaking the rest of it out over the bath, he gave up and threw it to his clothes hamper. Looking back to Kate his eyes were pulled away looking at the mess they had made. The bathroom floor was soaked with puddles reaching to the door ten feet away. Eyeing Kate in the tub he couldn't hold back his laughter as she covered her naked body. There was no more water in the tub to conceal her from him, not that he hadn't already seen her.

"I guess I'm done." She laughed staring down to the now puddle size water at her feet.

"I guess." Jack chuckled walking cautiously across the floor to the closet.

Coming back over he held out his nice dry robe out to her. Helping her out of the tub he stood behind her for balance and privacy as she slipped on the robe. Tying the sash loosely around her waist she flung her head back and tied it into a bun.

Looking back to Jack she couldn't help but laugh at his gawking stare with the wet floor.

"Where's the mop?" She asked.

"I'll clean it up."

"No I don't have a-"

"I'll do it." He insisted with a chuckle.

"O…k." She drew out in one long breath as she eyed him over her shoulder.

Going into the bedroom she dried herself off and put on her clean and dry clothes. Hanging up his robe on the back of the bathroom door she watched him clean up the mess. Her eyes glued onto his every movement as he bent over and stretched out. All she couldn't think about at that moment was what he had said. But before she could dwell any further on it his eyes caught her.

"You enjoying the show?" He grinned picking up the last towel form the floor.

"Maybe." She smirked walking away from the door.

He couldn't help himself, but watch her as she walked over to him. A smile was smug across his lips the entire time. He might have looked sure of himself on the outside, but inside he was confused. Just earlier that night she had slapped him and told him nothing could work between him. Now she was walking around naked and pulling him into bathtubs. Not that he didn't mind. He liked her being suddenly eased back, but he wanted to know why.

Taking the towel in his hand she threw it to the hamper. Taking his hand this time she led him over to the toilet.

"It time to clean up your hand." She announced.

"Kate…" He began to whine.

"No whining. It could get infected."

He shook his hand with a smile giving up there on the spot. He let her take his hand into her lap as she sat on the sink beside him. Taking the peroxide out of the cabinet she unscrewed the lid. Wading up a bit of toilet paper she dampened it with the peroxide.

"Now this might hurt alitttle bit." She warned pressing the damp paper to his knuckles.

He quickly pulled his hand back and gasped in pain.

"Sorry." She apologized trying to hide her smile.

He saw it.

"You think it's funny don't you?"

"No. I just can't believe how big of a baby you are. I mean come on Jack you're a doctor. You sat perfectly still when I stitched you up with needle and thread." She pointed out letting her smile run free over her lips.

"Well if you didn't notice I was crying just a little bit." He contradicted.

She rolled her eyes taking his hand again. This time gently pressing the paper to his skin. Once it stopped fizzing she putt some medication on his knuckles and wrapped them in a cloth bandage.

"See all better." She smiled kissing his hand.

At first she thought he pull back, but he did. He in turn took her hand in his and pulled her towards him as he leaned in to her. He dropped her hand to her lap as his came up to cup her face as he kissed her. She immediately went weak as his lips smoothed hers over. They slowly spread over the top of hers and came back with a smacking noise, as they broke apart.

"What was that for?" She asked looking up to him.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"For what?"

"Cleaning up my hand." He whispered softly gazing down to the white bandage wrapped around his hand.

The two headed back into the bedroom. Both changed and ready for bed. And both were in a state of simplicity. The smiles on their faces had disappeared, but the essence was there.

Kate climbed into bed under the covers. Pulling them up over her body she looked up to Jack as he got it. Only he didn't join her in the warmth. Instead he sat up against the wall with a suddenly uneasy look upon his face.

"You going to sleep?"

He looked down to her, as she got comfortable.

"Yeah here in a second."

"Ok then, goodnight." She smiled turning over onto her side facing the window.

"Night." He whispered.

She turned over and pushed herself to let all the thoughts and haunting memories that were brought on that night out of her mind. She didn't want to think about what happened and Tom. She didn't want to bother herself with guilt of her actions. She just wanted to sleep. And within a few minutes she was out.

He on the other hand still sat up against the wall. That uneasy look upon his face. He wanted to sleep, but couldn't push himself to lie down and close his eyes. Overpowering thought of what had happened that night propelled him. Yet with everything that happened with Jason he was more caught up by what had happened in the last hour.

He was confused by what had suddenly happened to her. But that didn't bother him as much as the question of "what now". After what had happened how were things going to be between them. Looking back to the kisses they really didn't show a progression more so than they did affection. But yet he couldn't get over the reactions both made being that close to each other.

Looking over to her he watched he sleep. Again wondering what she was dreaming. Was this night of sleep going to be plagued by nightmare of Jason? He didn't know what was running through her mind right then in fact he never knew.

He stared at her for what seemed like only seconds when really it was an hour and a half. The sun was slowly rising outside the window. Casting sunlight over body. Shadows lying across her bruised face.

He knew there was going to be no sleep for him now. Not while he lay next to trying to fight off the urge to hold her or lean over and kiss her. But those feeling quickly were moved aside as she turned over onto her back. Quickly his eyes were fixed upon her chest eyeing the scar that was seemingly haunting him.

Uncertainty filled his mind again.

He couldn't save her.

He couldn't heal her.

Suddenly the words his father drilled into his brain came to the surface.

Did he have what it took?

After all they had been through together and apart did he really have what it took?

Before he even let all of it overwhelm him he turned away from her. Pushing the covers off of him he got out of bed. He could sit there next to her at that moment. If it wasn't his hidden feelings that got to him it was his hidden problems. He wasn't in the mood to let them take him over.

Walking quietly across the room he opened the door to the hallway. Before heading out he turned around and looked to her one last time. His eyes lay upon her as she slept. Watching each breath she took in slumber. Closing the door he lowered his head with a sigh. Turning his back to the door he walked down the hall.


	8. Reality Check

_Finally i got around to writing this. I will let all of you know i didn't go with my orginal plan i was going with, so everything has been changed around for the better. Some of you guys might like this change others probably won't, but it will surprise all of you most likely. Hopefully. That's what i was going for. So i hope you enjoy it. _**  
**

**Reality Check**

She didn't feel him next to her. She couldn't feel or hear his breath on the back of her neck. He must have got up, she thought. But she heard his voice faintly off in the near distance. He was close, but not close enough.

The heat of the sunlight had lost its familiarity and was replaced by cooling shade. The surface under her felt different than she had remembered it the night before. It was uncomfortable. Pain quickly racked her body as she turned trying to get comfortable.

"Sit still.' Said a calming voice as she tried to move.

She didn't listen as she began to move again. The pain confused her when she did move. She didn't remember feeling this bad when she had went to sleep.

"Jack!"

That voice again. It was familiar, but hadn't been heard in a while. It was hard to put her finger on who it was. Then the pain took over her thought as again she tried to move. Suddenly she felt his hands upon her. Pressing her body back to the uncomfortable surface. She tried to struggle, but let him take control when the pain became too much and she began to feel sick.

She became cold quickly and her body began to shake. Weakness came over her as her head spun with the noise of slurred voices hovering around her. Her heart began to race and her breath quicken. She became scared and tried again to move.

"Kate lie still. It's ok."

His command didn't ease her. It frightened her more. She suddenly began to question what was going on. Why she couldn't open her eyes, why her body was struggling to keep control, and why Jack was fighting her. All stuck her down as her eyes shot open.

Light then darkness flooded her mind. Staring above where she laid things slowly came into focus. The sun glittered through trees that canopied overhead as their leaves wavered back in forth in the slight breeze. Taking a deep breath she slowly turned her head through the pain.

Her eyes wondered around seeing figures scattering about as they were enveloped by tall rocky surroundings. Then she was covered by a shadow crossing over her. Her eyes shot up to a tall dark figure sitting over her. Soon she came to see it was Jack. But it wasn't the same Jack she had seen that night before or what she was questioning might have been the night before.

His face was brought down tremendously by lack of sleep and exhaustion. Sweat glistened down the sides of his cheeks and neck. Bags surrounded his eyes as he stared down upon her in somewhat shock and joy.

"She's waking up! Get some water!" He yelled never turning his attention away.

This was all becoming too much. Last thing she remembered was climbing into bed with Jack, now here she lay in consuming pain under his hands in a somewhat familiar, but confusing place. Opening her mouth she went to speak and question what was going on, but was stopped by his hand coming up to her face.

"It's ok." He whispered as someone walked up to his side.

Looking away from him and to the person Kate came to see it was Sun. But it wasn't the Sun she remembered from the bookstore that day. She was slim with a look of worry plastered over her face. Handing the water bottle to Jack she looked down to her with a warming smile before she turned.

The next feeling was of a cooling liquid rushing past her lips and down her throat. As it passed over her dry tongue she took a deep breath and looked up to Jack who had a weird smile across his lips. She could see tears rolling down his cheeks as he stared at her in a daze.

Wiping her shaky hand over her face she pushed against him to sit up. She instantly felt his hands around her body helping her up. In all this question and uncertainty his hands made her feel secure and safe, but still she was scared.

When she became settled against him and a hard surface behind her she felt sleep tried to consume her as pain surged through her body. She fought her drooping lids wanting to know what was going on. She tried forcing herself to speak, but when she opened her lips nothing came out but a gasp. Closing her eyes for a brief moment she heard another voice as someone approached.

"Is she ok?"

It was Claire. Her eyes shot open again looking up to see Claire standing in front of her holding Christopher in her arms. Something was odd as her weary eyes looked over her. Her stomach didn't bulge. She didn't stand with weight on her legs. She didn't even look pregnant.

Seeing her confused Kate even more. Last time she remembered seeing her she looked as if she was about to pop, now she showed no signs of being with child at all. Closing her eyes again, Kate took a deep breath and tried to comprehend what was going on. Nothing was familiar to her. Nothing was how it should have been.

Hearing Claire walk away she pushed to open her eyes. She was instantly hit with Jack's eyes staring into hers. The smile had disappeared from his face.

"Are you ok?" He asked running his fingertips down her arm.

She shook her head feeling tears well up in her eyes. She was so confused and felt alone even with him sitting there. And the pain all over her body displaced her. She wanted some answers.

"Jack…" She finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

Staring into his eyes she saw them suddenly change. The worry and tears faded into question as she spoke.

"Where am I?"

"The caves."

His words were slow and drawn out as they disappeared on the wind. It hit her in that moment. Her eyes went wide and her breath was caught. Her heart began to race inside her chest as she looked around to her surroundings. It all quickly came into form.

The rocky surroundings. The dripping water fall. The sun glittered through the swaying leaves that hung from the trees above. All the people she had lived with before and thought had moved away now were trying not to crowd around her as she came to.

This was the caves. Not Jack's bedroom that she had remembered from the night before or what she had thought was the night before. None of it made sense to her.

"The caves?" She questioned, her eyes still wondering around.

"Yeah. You've been in and out of a mild coma for two days now." He explained.

Her head shot back around till she was face to face with him.

"What? Why was I in a coma?"

"You went into shock after-".

"No, we got rescued and went back to normal lives.' She exclaimed.

"Nobody had been rescued. You've been out for two days Kate." He said trying his best to calm her down.

She quickly began to panic. There was no way she was still on the island. She remembered getting off. She remembered the hotel, Sarah, and Charlie and Claire's wedding. Jason and Jack. She remembered it all too vividly to let it pass off as some dream she had while in a coma.

"No we got rescued Jack!" She yelled as she tried to stand, but pain shot down through her leg making her lose her balance.

"Kate…" He called coming to her side trying to stop her.

"We got rescued." She cried again as she struggled against him.

Feeling his hand upon her body she tried to force herself away from him. Pushing against him her eyes wondered over each person as they stood and watched her freak out. They were all there. Everyone who had been living at the caves with her before they got rescued. They were all there. Still with that fact she couldn't believe she was there.

"I remember it."

"I know." He said finally getting a hold of her.

Giving up she fell into his arms as she cried. He took her and sat her back down on the cot she had been laying on. Sitting down all she could do was stare at each one of them shaking her head as she went through all the memories she had of them off the island.

"It doesn't make any sense." She whimpered.

"I know it doesn't." Jack said looking her over with concern.

He knew this was all coming as a shock to her, but her reaction wasn't something he expected. He wondered if her state had anything to do with it. Had anything to do with her claims of getting rescued.

She turned and caught his eyes again. This time they were filled with fear and somewhat guilt as he looked at her. They made her even uneasier as she stared into them.

"What's going on Jack?"

He lowered his gaze when she said that. He felt so bad seeing her in this pain and confusion. She had no idea what was going on and was scared out of her mind. She needed to know, so with a deep breath he tried to explain.

"You're going through post dramatic shock. I guess after being in a coma after being shot this is normal." He sighed.

"Shot? I don't remember being shot."

Her words again struck him. She didn't remember something big as being shot. Then he thought about it. All the trauma probably messed with her head and blacked out that part of her memory. It was something it didn't want her to remember. It was something Jack didn't want her to remember, but she needed to know.

"Well you went after me when I went after Ethan. One thing led to another and we all three ended up on the ground with gunshot wounds."

"You got shot?" She questioned.

"Just in the shoulder." He said lifting up his sleeve to show a bandage wrapped around his arm.

"Nothing too bad."

Kate looked away and became quiet. It was hard knowing Jack had gotten hurt probably trying to save her, but it was harder to believe what he was telling her. She was still confused, but admitted Jack's explanation made sense. The whole thing with being rescued, Sarah, and living with Jack could have been her dream, but why did it seem so real?

And how did she know this wasn't a dream?

How'd she know this was real?

He knew she was questioning her existence as she sat there. She was most likely scared out of her mind with all this suddenly hitting her. He wanted to talk to her and help her become assured that she was still on this miserable island, but he didn't want to push her. Not right then.

"You've scared me." He whispered as he rested his hand a top hers.

She said nothing as her eyes followed his fingers wondering over the top of her hand. The tips of them were stained with blood. Most likely her blood. She couldn't even begin to think of all she had put him through.

"I thought so many times that I was going to loose you…" He continued as he began to gently squeeze her hand in his.

She could hear the tears on his voice as he spoke. Just the thought that he was crying made tears of her own sting at the corners of her eyes.

"But now you're awake and everything ok." He said sniffing back his tears as he let go of his hand.

She couldn't even look at him. It was hard to even sit there next to him and not become compelled with his emotion. All of this was too much for her. Giving in and letting Jack's emotion take over she'd surely collapse from within.

"Jack?"

He looked up as Charlie came over calling his name. Kate looked up too hearing that British voice ring in her ears. He looked almost the same as the last time she had seen him. That had been at his wedding. He was the only one that did look as they were in her "dream". Still he was different. Still dirty and shaggy here and there, but he was more of what she remembered and that sort of comforted her.

"What's up Charlie?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Jack said.

The two watched Charlie walk away before they looked at each other. Kate feel better knowing Jack had to get up and walk away. Not that she didn't want him there, but his emotion and worry wasn't helping anything in the situation.

There was still a sense of fear overshadowing her and it made him question whether or not her should get up. He was scared she'd become panicked again if he got up.

"Will you be ok for a second?" He asked cocking his head so he could meet her eyes.

She didn't speak a word. She just nodded and then looked away again as tears came on. Just seeing him was pushing her over.

He still didn't feel right as he came to his feet. With a deep breath he leaned down and placed a kiss a top her head amongst her messy hair.

"It'll be ok. I promise." He assured her with a smile.

She tried to believe him as he walked away, but it was going to take more than his words to convince her this was real. That everything she had lived and breathed for what seemed like the last two months was all a coma-induced dream.

Her eyes wondered down to her chest seeing the bloodstains. Her hand quickly came up and rested over the bandage. It must have been where she was shot. Right over the heart, she thought. The pain was almost too much even with her hand barely over it.

Then she looked down to see her leg encased in tape and wooden splints. She didn't know why it was like that, but guessed she probably broke it. It almost hurt as much as her chest.

Taking a deep breath she looked away and around seeing the other trying to sneak a peak at her. She knew they must have been doing as much questioning as she was, but this had to be most confusing to her. Her life was basically shattered in the instant she opened her eyes. All she had been through. All she and Jack had worked through to get to that point she thought they were at.

It was all gone.

They'd have to work through all of their secrets and pasts mistakes all over again. At least she knew she had it in herself to confront it, but it was a question whether or not she was willing to do it for real. It seemed hard in a dream, but in real life it would be worse.

It became too much as she sat there. She let it in and let it get to her. The fear and question of uncertainty pulled at her mind's emotion. Sleep was trying to seduce her as she gave up and lied down on the cot. Her body wanted to sleep, but she was too scared that if she closed her eyes this would suddenly be ripped from this existence and placed into another life she wouldn't recognize.

So she lied there staring off into a daze of tears and question. Looking around she tried to convince herself slowly and surely this was real. That she had been in a coma and they were still on that miserable island. It was a sad fact, but it was a small relief knowing she hadn't gone through all the things she had thought she had.

Settling on that thought she began to question where all the images had come from. Everything she had lived through with Jack and his life. She knew nothing about Jack's life besides him being a doctor.

How had Sarah and Barbara come to be?

Were they real or figments of her imagination?

If so then why did she think up them?

If not then why hadn't Jack mentioned anything?

She struggled to push all of it out of her mind and try and settle on what was at hand. She knew she'd never get over it. She'd never forget the life she had had, but didn't lead. It was going to be hard to let go of that and try to back to a life secluded on an island.

**Author's Note: **_First this i will let youall know this chapter is reality. Everything before this, all that happened with Jason and Sarah it was all Kate's coma. (go ahead and start throwing things) But i thought long and hard about this and decided i was going to up what i was going to do later. So this was ultimately going to happen i just kick started the process. I hope this doesn't push any of you away and brings more of you onto this sick little ride i'm operating. _

_They are now back on the island and the stakes are much higher. I'm going to do things nobody thought would happen. I'll let you all know a little secret though. i think i owe you that. Pay attention to small details. Go back and look over the things that happened in her coma. They will give hints if not the entire clue of what is going to happen. _

_Again i hope i didn't piss all of you off and hope you will continuing reading. It ain't over yet. Not even close and it's going to get much worse. As always i hope you gusy enjoyed and will keep reading and telling me what you think. _


	9. Letting Allusions Go

_Fianlly i figured out hwat i wanted to do with this fic. I have the whole write up done, so no i know what to write. I'm so excited with what's going to happen in this fic! It's gonig to get more complicated__ then it already is! Trust me you'll all love it! Anyways here's the continuation of everything i've already scrwed up! Hope you enjoy. And as alway tahnk you all for reading and telling me what you think!  
_

**Letting Allusions Go**

Kate lay still on the cot staring off into a daze. Throbbing pain surging through her body. Watching the others as they moved about. Slowly blinking as thought over took her mind. It was a hard thing to wrap her mind around.

A coma.

It was hard to believe none of it was true. Some of it she did wish was true, and others things she didn't. Like Jason. She was glad the fear and guilt she had over his murder were just figments of her imagination. Some thing she could forget, but couldn't bring herself to. Kind of like it really happened.

Then there were the memories she wished were true. Her and Jack. The relationship they had built away from the island. Everything they had worked past.

She had told him about Tom. Shared her deepest secret that she never thought she'd share and probably never share again.

Jack's admittance that he wasn't something more between them. That he wanted to be with her in the midst of his divorce and her past.

None of it was real. None of it had happened.

Her eyes broke away from the daze seeing Jack walking towards her. A smile quickly spread over his lips seeing her watch him. It wasn't a smile of joy. It was a smile of ease. The smile she had only seen in her dream. A smile that made her wonder if what wasn't, could be.

If everything she had thought they worked through could actually worked through?

Could she let Tom go?

Could she let Jack in?

In her dream they had been close.

Could they be that close again?

Her mind shut off as their eyes met again. Slowly he came and sat down next to her. Eyes still locked.

"You ok?" He asked.

Was she?

She didn't know. She was lying there questioning her existence. Along with how she felt about this man who sat before her.

Images and memories of what didn't happen between them flooded her mind. The dance at Charlie and Claire's wedding. Lying in bed together. The many embraces that massed together as one. It was hard to comprehend that none of that had happened.

"It was so real, Jack." She whispered as the emotions got the best of her.

His smile faded as he wiped away her tears with his thumb. It cause her heart and stomach to flutter. She had felt his real touch like that in so long.

"It's normal for people to think comas are real." He explained.

"That's why it takes people so long to get over them."

His words scared her.

Was she going to get better?

Was this going to haunt her forever?

"Could have sworn it was real." She sighed.

"It wasn't."

His reply was quick and almost made her wonder, but instead she questioned.

"How do you know?" She questioned as she rested up on her elbows and starred at him with narrow eyes.

"How do you know this isn't?"

"Because I do."

His words didn't ease her, but she did believe him. He was the only on she'd probably would believe. His words, no mater harsh or not, true or false, she believed him.

Looking away from and back to the others she lowered her set back down to the cot. They were all gathered around the fire waiting fro nightfall. Charlie was holing Christopher up by the arms as the infant tried walk.

Claire walked past giving a smile, patting Christopher on the head as she sat down next to Charlie. The look they gave each other was that of pure love.

They had gotten over their boundaries, their pasts, and problems before. They didn't see the island in all its terror. They were happy with each other and nothing else matter. Only each other and Christopher.

Kate wished she had that. She wanted happiness in this abysmal place.

Looking back up to Jack she saw a glimmer of that happiness. She saw a slight ray of hope. But it was overshadowed by uncertainty, mistakes, lies, and secrets of past lives. Problems that would be hard to work through. But there was hope.

"Maybe you should try and sleep." Jack suggested gently brushing a piece of her from her cheek.

Her eyes closed shut feeling the feather like feeling of his fingertips across her blushing cheek. Instant images of her sitting in the tub surrounded bubble and soothing heat as Jack ran a sponge over her beaten back flashed before her eyes.

Opening her eyes she looked up to see Jack staring down at her. His eyes full of emotion he wanted to project with his lips and tell her, but couldn't. It was almost the same way she was looking at him, but with more feeling. He was trying to tell be something, but what?

Suddenly exhaustion fell over her as the stare became intense. Her lids began to fall. The events of the day were taking a toll on her. Although she knew she had to sleep she was afraid. Afraid again she would be stripped of all of this.

Jack could see the fear in her eyes as they struggled to stay open. It hurt him to see that she was scared knowing she had thought she was rescued for two days. He had no idea what she was going through. He waned to help, but didn't know exactly how at that point. Didn't know how'd she react. Still he couldn't just sit there and watch her lie in confusion.

"You need to sleep Kate."

"Yeah probably should." She joked with a laugh hiding her uneasiness.

Jack couldn't help but smile seeing her ease up. But as her smile faded her insecurities once again over shadowed her.

"It's ok. I promise nothing will happen." He assured her as that stare came over his eyes again.

"I'll stay here all night if you want me to."

"Jack no, you need to sleep as much as I do." She whined.

"Ok just until you fall asleep." He smiled.

Slowly nodding her head she let her lids fall over her eyes and never fought them again.

Watching her give in and push herself to sleep, he felt better, but looking over her seeing all the blood and exhaustion on her face his ease faded. It was going to be a long road or recovery for her. All the memories she'd have to intake and forget. The healing. But he was going to be there with her every step of the way.

"Is she going to be ok?" Claire voice questioned from behind.

Jack didn't even think to look away from Kate. To afraid something would happen.

"Yeah. In time." He sighed letting his now heavy lids wonder over Kate's now peaceful state.

Hearing Claire walk away he looked back over his shoulder. He wasn't looking at anything in particular, just looking. Taking it in.

Looking over to Kate again, he watched her sleep. For the first time he wondered what she was dreaming about. Most likely a world he knew nothing about. A world not of this island. A world that had more fear instilled in it. But for some reason he thought maybe she could be dreaming of him.

He stared at her for what seemed like only seconds when really it was an hour and a half. The sun was slowly setting behind the trees that grew over them. Casting sunlight over body. Shadows lying across her bruised face.

He knew there was going to be no sleep for him now. Not while he sit next to trying to fight off the urge to hold her or lean over and caress her face. But those feeling quickly were moved aside as she turned over onto her back. Quickly his eyes were fixed upon her chest eyeing the bandage that was seemingly haunting him.

Uncertainty filled his mind again.

Could he save her?

Could he heal her?

Suddenly the words his father drilled into his brain came to the surface.

Did he have what it took?

After all they had been through together and apart did he really have what it took?

Closing his eyes he brought his hand up over his face. Rubbing against all the pressure points that had been pushed in the last few days. He needed sleep as much as she did, but he couldn't push himself to pull away from her. He didn't want to leave her side. And he didn't.

Three long weeks went by unexpectedly fast. Three weeks of letting go of memories, reality, and pain. Things Kate had to give up in order to let herself readjust. It wasn't an easy process.

She tried her hardest to disguise her pain and uncertainty, but Jack saw right through it like he always did. Even though she didn't talk about it, he knew she was having problems here in there simply by paying attention to the looks she gave. They were masks she wore to hide how she felt inside. Scared. She was struggling. Still he knew she'd get better.

But Kate on the other hand didn't know if she had what it took. The pain wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. She could work through it day by day, but the memories were something else. Everyday she questioned whether or not the images and feelings she thought she knew were real factors in the lives of the people that she knew. Wondered if they were things they were hiding. Most of all Jack.

Was he really married?

It was something she wanted to ask him every time she saw him, but once she saw that face smiling with hope she couldn't brining herself to it. It faded again to the back of her mind.

"Ow!" Kate winced being as careful as she could not to pull away from Jack's grasp.

"Well if you would stop fidgeting it wouldn't hurt so bad." He scolded her glancing up from his hands to her eyes and then back down.

"I'm not fidgeting."

Again he shot her a look and then looked back down to his hands with a chuckle. She hadn't been this difficult when he was putting the stitches in, but once he began to take them out she couldn't sit still. Maybe it was because she in a coma when he put them in. It was an obvious factor.

With a deep breath she sat back with her head held high as Jack pulled the thread from the wound in her chest. Every once and a while she looked down to see his concentrated stare. The look in his eyes was different then it had been for the last couple weeks when she had seen him. It was a familiar look, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Guilt.

It was the feeling the spread over Jack's body as he plucked the thread from her skin. Just eyeing this healed wound pulled at every emotion. He had caused it. All of it. The pain she felt from not only from the recovery, but the uncertainty that swarmed in her head. The memories he caused her to loose and the ones he caused her to make up. This was all his fault not only because of his gun putting a bullet in her body, but the odd reasoning behind it.

Ethan had wanted revenge on him. He didn't know why. He didn't understand. To him the revenge should have been directed at Charlie after him shooting Ethan in the chest a million times and taking Claire back.

Why him? All he did was rough him up a bit. That was all. Why did he want revenge from him so badly enough he was willing to hurt the one thing he loved more then anything on that island? Kate. It made no sense.

With all the thought coursing through Jack's mind he was able to keep his attention on pulling the thread out and listening to Kate's groaning. Focusing back on it his hands he saw that he had pulled the last bit out. It was done.

"All done." He announced throwing the thread to the ground.

"Finally." Kate sighed causing another chuckle out of Jack.

She sat up watching him put his things away. Her mind again came to question of whether or not to ask him about Sarah. It was something that bothered her every time she saw him. Then she'd come to the conclusion that he might think she's crazy. But at that moment she thought he might understand. Then her look turned curious as he brought out a bottle of peroxide.

She wanted to ask what he was going to do, but instead watched. He took out a piece of cloth and dampened it. Giving her a cautioned glance, he brought it up to where his hands had just been. Slowly pressing the cloth to her skin the both waited for the stinging pain they both knew Kate would feel. When she did, both seem to be over taken by it.

"Owww." She gasped closing her eyes.

"Sorry." He apologized lowering his head.

"Thought you said you were done?"

"I lied." He smiled.

"Thought I was the only one who lied. Guess I was wrong." She smirked.

His smile faded hearing her blow to herself. It reminded him of used to be. The animosity between them over her past. He had almost forgot she had been a fugitive and on the run before the crash. He had also forgot that she was being escorted on the plane by the Marshal. In the midst of all the chaos between when he found out and now he had lost the fact. He had grow to see the real her.

Silence befell them. With Jack dwelled on thought again as he cleaned her healing wound, she sat watching him closely trying to figure him out. Figure out why all of a sudden he was quiet. More question came over her as he looked up to her.

"So any memories come back?" He asked pressing the cloth against her chest one last time.

"Not really…" She began watching him put the peroxide back.

"Only images here and there."

"What kind of images?" He questioned turning back to her.

"Like me walking through the jungle, me sitting on a rock next to a waterfall, and then everything is dark.' She sighed.

"Did you recognize the waterfall?"

"Not really. It was off to the side of this lake and was kinda high up." She explained trying her best to revive the thought.

"I think I know which one you're talking about." He smiled.

"What?" She questioned quickly sitting up in hopes that another piece could be added to her memory.

"The one you and Sawyer found."

"Sawyer?" She questioned looking at him with a furrowed brow.

His heart slowly sank to his stomach. Was he another memory she had forgotten?

"Please tell me you remember Sawyer." He said with a nervous laugh.

"I do, I just don't remember the waterfall."

"Well then how about we take a little adventure." He suggested.

"To the waterfall?"

"Yeah. Maybe it might help you…" He began coming to his feet.

"And plus you need to wash up, you stink."

His smirk aggravated her, but he was probably right. She hadn't really wash up in…she really couldn't remember when. Maybe the last time was the image she had of the waterfall. Maybe she could get that memory back.

"Ok." She agreed in a voice barely audible.

"Ok.' He smiled.

Turning around he handed her shoes. She assured him she'd be all right putting them on herself. So in giving up his continuous struggle with her, he grabbed his things and went to go put them away. Leaving her by herself for the first time since everything had happened.

Jack wiped his hands as he walked through the caves. He came out from around a corner to see Kate bent over trying her best to tie her boats. A smile tired to force it's way to his lips and he tried his bet to convince himself it wasn't funny.

For a moment he waited, watching he in the shadows. Then the thought that she might have forgot how came into his mind. He stepped out and walked towards her.

"Need any help?'

Her hands rested as her eyes shot up to him. She couldn't help but smirk through her aggravation.

"I'm good." She said going back to the laces.

"This damn splint is in my way."

Disregarding her answer he knelt down in front of her. Seeing him and his obvious attempt she didn't stop until his hands came over hers. She slowly closed her eyes as she pursed her lips. She tired to hide as smile as she looked down to him entranced with intertwining the laces.

"There you go." He smiled looking up to her.

She let her smile go as he stood up.

"You didn't have to do that." She insisted.

"Yeah, well I wanted to…" He began.

"And you were taking too long." He smirked.

"You try to make fun of me or does it just come naturally?"

"Come on." He sighed taking both her hands.

With one swift movement he pulled her up. At first she was a little wobbly, but after gathering her things she got better at it. When she was ready, Jack told the others where'd they be if they needed him and then they were off. Down the trail towards the waterfall where Kate would hopefully remember something.

Kate walked in front with Jack dangerously close behind her. He was of course making sure she was ok. They talked back and forth about things Kate remembered before everything happened. She of course remembered the crash and stitching Jack's back up, but after that things were blank here and there. Certain things were jumbled up. But all in all she remembered all of it.

"Claire came back after I-"

Kate stopped abruptly as her attention was caught. Her eyes became wide as she looked out over a beautiful lake. It was surrounded by huge rocks that shadowed most of the water and tall jungle trees. A water fall in the center of it quickly caught her eye. Her mind instantly flooded with images of her and Sawyer swimming. It was so familiar.

"I remember this." She said slowly walking towards the waters edge.

"Good." Jack smiled walked past her to a set of rocks.

Her eyes followed him and she was quickly struck by seeing herself sitting on the rocks. She closed her eyes and opened them. The image of her was gone. See shook her head to get the odd feeling to leave her body.

"You ok?" Jack questioned setting his backpack down.

"Yeah." She said nodding her head as she turned from the rocks to him.

Walking over she slipped own pack off and set it up on a body level rock. Unzipping it she went through her things searching for a clean pair of clothes. Finding something at least suitable she laid them out before turning to Jack.

"Could you get this off?" She asked as she pulled at the cloth holding the splint to her leg.

Once he pulled it off and the wood pieces fell to the ground she felt relief. Feeling the urge she slowly bent her knee back and forth. Besides the slight numbness it felt a whole lot better.

"It's healed pretty well." He said looking her leg over.

"That means I don't have to wear the splint anymore right?" She questioned with a smile.

All he could do was laugh as he stood up. He knew she hated the splint, but she had to wear it so her leg would heal right. But from looking at it and the way she moved it without pain she probably didn't have to wear it anymore.

"Maybe."

That gave her some hope. Hope that disappeared as she became awkward with his sudden stare. He stood there eyes locked with hers with the faintest smile across her lips. It made her stomach fill with butterflies for some reason, which caused her to look away with blushing cheeks.

"Now turn around so I can undress." She ordered.

Her words caused him blush as she turned around. Putting his back to her he lowered his head waiting for her to be done.

As she began to take her clothes images of her standing in front of him in his bathroom came to her mind. She remembered that night so much more vividly over the others. She remembered his awkwardness and at the same time there was and odd rightness of the whole situation.

At this moment as she stood there, eyes locked to the back of his head as she slowly removed her clothing she felt nervous. More nervous than she took Jack to be in that unlived memory. She didn't know why she was feeling this way. She seemed fine in the memories she had of her undressing in front of Sawyer. Why was it any different with Jack?

Maybe because she had more feelings for Jack. She had been through so much with him. Things she'd didn't want to forget, but sadly some things she did. The reason she felt nervous was because she wished to have more then just forgotten memories with him. She didn't want to make the wrong move and have that hope and wishing disappear like her memories.

Jack began to wonder why she was taking so long. He wanted to look over his shoulder to make sure she was ok and didn't need any help, but he didn't want to embarrass her. Still his worried feeling to the best of him as he glanced over his shoulder.

"What's taking do lo-"

"Hey!" Kate shouted with a smile as she covered herself.

"Sorry." He laughed quickly turning around.

"No more peaking." She warned.

"Ok. Just wondering what's taking so long."

"None of you're business."

Her eyes went to the back of his head as she unbuttoned her pants. They never left him as she slid them down her legs. As they came to a puddle on the grassy ground she stepped out of them. She stood there still for the longest minute just staring at him. Unmoving covered only by her underwear. For some reason she was overcome by the thought of wishing he would turn around for some reason. She seemed to yell his name in her mind, but didn't dare with her lips.

Her body slowly shook from the overwhelming feeling. Taking a deep breath she looked away. She took the longest possible time discarding her underwear. Once she did she didn't dare look back up to him. So in once swift judgment of feeling she pranced over to the water and slipped into the water.

"Ok you can look." She yelled from the water.

Jack was confused by the distant sound of her voice as he slowly turned around unknowing what he'd come to see. Once he saw the emptiness behind he became confused.

"Over here!" She shouted.

His eyes darted over the water to see her wading out in the middle of the lake. He looked away with a laugh seeing how she got into the water without he knowledge. Shaking his head as he continued to laugh he walked over to the rocks were her stuff sat. Climbing up on one he sat down and turned his eyes back to her.

He watched her swim back and forth in the water. It eased him to see her acting the carefree in the slightest. She had been miserable for the last month and now here she was up and about swimming around. It really did make him feel better seeing her smile.

"You wanna come?" She asked.

"No I'm good and I don't stink." He smiled.

She didn't try and shoot anything back to his comment. She simply gave him a smile, as she got ready to dive into the water. He was instantly taken back seeing a flash of her breasts before the water covered her. Taking a deep breath he sat back. And fought with himself on whether he was meant to have seen her like that.

The thought prodded at him even more as she emerged from the water right in front of him. Instantly splashing him.

"Hey!" He called out trying to shield himself.

"That's what you get for saying I stink!" She laughed.

"Well…' He began.

"Watch it." She warned reading herself to splash him again.

"Ok. Ok." He said giving up.

She had to smile as she lowered herself into the water. Remerging she ran her hands back over her hair, smoothing it back. She glanced up to see nervousness over Jack. He was looking away with his eyes darting around to their surroundings. He looked like he was feeling awkward with her.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Huh?" He questioned looking back over to her.

"Are you ok Jack? You're acting a little weird."

"Yeah fine." He smiled nervously.

She saw his uneasiness as she looked into his eyes.

"Ok.' She breathed nodding her head as they both looked away.

After she was done she again had Jack turn around so she could get dressed. Much to her surprise he didn't try and look over his shoulder. He actually walked off a bit giving her privacy. She began to think his awkwardness was her nakedness. She wouldn't doubt it.

Pulling her shirt down over her stomach she went for her pants. Stepping into the legs she went to rebalance herself. When she went to put weight on her healing leg, blinding pain came over her.

"Dammit!" She cried out as she fell back again the rock behind her.

"What?" Jack asked running up.

Neither thought about the fact of her being almost half naked as he walked up. Only her being in pain was a factor.

"I leaned wrong on my leg." She sighed trying to balance back on her feet.

"Here.' He said taking her hands.

She watched as he took her hands and rested them on his shoulders. Extended his hands to her waist he took the top of her pants and began to pull them up. She stared at him with unmoving eyes as he pulled her pants to her hips and buttoned them. Glancing up he caught her eyes. The stare was intense and sent chills up both of their spines. It became too much and they both had to look away.

"We better head back." Jack said slipping back from her grasp.

"Yeah." She whispered as she turned away.

"You think you can walk?" He asked.

"Don't kn-" She started to say until again pain came over her as she stepped back on her leg.

"Guess that's a no." She chuckled over the pain.

Without warning jack turned his back to her and squatted down. She looked down at him with a raised brow as he glanced back to her.

"Hop on."

"What?" She questioned.

"Hop on. I'll carry you back." He explained.

"Ok…" She said leaning against his back.

When he felt her body pressed to him he reached back around and grabbed onto her calves.

"Wrap you hands around my neck." He instructed.

Doing so he took on the balance of both their weight. Slowly standing he hooked her legs around his hips and secured them with his hands.

"Ready?" He asked trying his best to look back at her.

"Yep." She smiled resting her chin on his shoulder.

A sudden feeling of right came over then both as he began to walk. All that had oddly happened between them when she was swimming had gone away as her wet hair hit his face as he walked along the trail.

Coming back to the caves they were instantly scrutinized with uneasy stares from people as they headed towards the cot. Jack brushed them off as nothing. Kate on the other had looked to each one of them. Wondering what they were thinking at that moment. What questions they had for her.

She turned away from them as Jack turned around and sat her down on the cot. She took a deep breath trying to push them out of her head as she looked up to him. She half expected him to have the same stare, but instead he greeted her only with a smile.

"Jack."

He quickly looked away as Stan; one of the other survivors came walking up to them. He was an average man with chopped dirty blonde hair and the same obvious stubble all the men of the island had.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jack asked.

"Where have you been? Everyone from the beach has been looking for you."

"I was off- what happened at the beach?"

"Someone fell. Nothing to serious, but you should still take a look." Stan explained.

"Ok. I'll be along in a second." Jack said.

As Stan turned and walked away Jack turned back to Kate.

"Well looks like I'm needed." He sighed.

"You always are. It's common for a doctor." Kate smirked.

"Yeah." Jack laughed.

"I want you to take it easy with the leg..." He began.

Kate looked away rolling her eyes with a smile feeling a long list of things to do and not to do coming on.

"Don't put too much weight on it and if you don't need to get up for something don't."

"You done?" She questioned looking back to him.

He couldn't help but smile at her cheap shot.

"I'll be back later." He smiled as he came to his feet.

They exchanged meaning full looks as he walked away and through the caves. Getting to the beginning of the caves he stopped and again looked back to her. She shook her head seeing him not wanting to leave.

"Go. I'll be fine." She lipped through her laughter.

He shook his head as he finally turned from her and headed out on the trail. Shaking her own head she kept smiling as she bent over and pulled off her boots. Letting them fall to the floor she sat back up. She quickly caught the stares again.

They pierced through her she looked to each of them. The only people that didn't see to have this stare and uneasiness about her were Charlie and Claire who went about their own lives as they tried their hardest to get him to walk. They were happy and Kate had to smile.

Closing her eyes she eased back to the cot. As her head came to the pillow below her she opened her eyes and looked up to the canopied ceiling above her. The sun had already begun its descent in the sky. For some reason in that moment she felt weird not seeing, feeling, or hearing Jack.

It was the first time in what seemed like forever that she had been away from him. No matter how it made her feel she'd have to get used to it. He wasn't always going to be at her side. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes again and tried to relax.

She never realized she was asleep. After she closed her eyes she could still feel and hear the sounds around her. It wasn't till she felt an out of place movement next to her that she realized she had been asleep the whole time.

Opening her eyes she was surrounded by darkness. Her eyes darted around seeing everyone lying together asleep. Only dimmed fires lit their dreams and cast their shadows up against the rock surroundings. Her eyes couldn't pull away from them. They all looked so peaceful.

Then she felt a movement up against he back. She almost jumped until she looked back to see Jack lying asleep on his side behind her. His arms resting under his chest and over his hip. His face defined by the fiery shadows. He looked more peaceful then all of them combined. He always did when he was asleep.

She almost couldn't bring herself self away from him. But she didn't want him to wake up and see her staring at him while he slept. So she lay back down facing him. Still she watched him sleep. Entranced with every breath he took.

Reaching out she ran her fingers over his cheek gently. Taking in the feel of his stubble beneath her fingertips. He was so beautiful to her in that moment. He was at peace with no worries. Suddenly he flinched causing her to pull her hand back. Dropping it to the cot she eyed him for a couple seconds making sure he didn't wake up. Then she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Kate fled through and open door into a long hallway. She ran as fast as she could down the hallway. Looking over her shoulder she saw no one behind her. She was in the clear till she bumped into another body. Both nearly fell down the stair till the man caught her in his arms. She was done for.

"Kate?"

Her heart stopped at the voice. Slowly she turned her head and looked up to see Jack.

"Jack!" She exclaimed in a shocked whisper.

He said nothing as he helped her to her feet. His eyes wondered down the hall toward her apartment.

"Why are you running?"

That was the dumbest question he could have asked her. Why was she always running? Since Ethan was dead and there were no polar bears in LA the only obvious answer was her past.

"I need your car."

"What? Why?" He questioned.

"No time to explain." She told him glancing back down the hallway.

When her eyes turned back to his she saw the intense question in his eyes. A question she didn't even know if she had the answer to.

"Now!' She yelled grabbing his arm and leading him down the stairs.

He led her out the parking garage where his car was parked. He walked up to a silver BMW and stopped at the driver door. She went for the handle, but was stopped by his hand. Her eyes slowly wondered up to him.

"Tell me why you're running."

"I can't." She whispered standing up strait.

"Let me help you." He begged.

"No." She replied struggling with him.

He took control and stood in front of the door. Kate seemed to give up as she stood back.

"Let me in the car Jack!" She breathed.

"No! Not till you tell me…." He began to plead.

"Don't make me hurt you Jack."

"You can't hurt me." He challenged.

She was taken back by this.

"You don't know what I'm capable of." She warned.

"Yes I do."

She took a deep breath realized this was going to go nowhere without force. She didn't want it to come to that, but if she had to she would.

"Jack please."

"No."

With his answer she clenched up her fist and readied herself. Without a second thought she swung at Jack hitting his hard it the jaw. He lost his stance and stumbled to the ground. With a free shot Kate lunged for the door. Opening it she got in and slammed the door before Jack could recover.

Franticly looking around for the keys she realized he had them and probably wouldn't give them to her. She'd have to go the hard way and hot wire. Taking a pocketknife Jack had oddly laying in plain sight she stabbed it into the dashboard. Pulling back she cracked the frame and began to pull it apart.

As soon as she got it all uncovered the passenger door opened. Looking over she felt somewhat relieved that it was Jack. She stopped and watched him as he slid in, sat down, and closed the door. Glancing away she pulled out the necessary wired and went to work.

"What are you doing?' He asked in an odd calming voice.

"Hotwiring."

"Where did you learn to hotwire cars?"

"When you're on the run you pick up a couple things. Now be quiet so I can remember how to do this." She barked.

A jingling sound caught her attention. Turning her head she looked over to see him dangling his keys in front of her. He was taunting her. Looking up to him she saw no trickery in his eyes. He seemed to be offering them to her freely. But she wasn't sure. Maybe she should have tested the waters. She didn't have time for that. She plunged in headfirst.

Grabbing for the keys he let then slip through his fingers and land in hers. With no second thought she put them in and started it up. Pulling out she looked behind and around her for any followers of office gun happy.

She slowly made her way down the levels. As she came to the exit she stopped the car. Eyeing the outside world she took a deep breath.

"Kate please don't run." He begged again.

She didn't look to him.

"Get out of the car Jack."

"No." He refused.

Gripping the steering wheel she revved the engine. She was ready to make her escape with Jack or not.

Before she could take off two police cars came racing to the entrance blocking her way out. Loosening her grip she watched in fear as they got out and drew their guns. This was how it happened before. This was how Tom died. Now Jack was in the passenger seat. She wasn't going to let it happen to Jack.

"Jack get out now!" She ordered staring down the cops as they yelled for her to step out.

"No." He said again.

Slowly looking away from the cops she saw Tom's murder flash before her eyes. In an instant she passed the cops as they shot at her killing Tom. Looking over Jack reappeared. She wasn't going to let it happen again. And Jack obvious wasn't going to get out of the car.

"Then duck!" She yelled as she slammed her foot on the gas, heading strait for the cops.

As the guns fired Kate pushed Jack down in his seat as she tried to maneuver the car and protect herself. Jumping the car over and past the cops she was on open road again. Speeding up as fast as she can she thought that maybe she had made it. Then she remembered how this had happened last time.

Taking a deep breath she looked over to Jack seeing him huddled in the seat not moving. Her heart stopped. Looking between the road and Jack she reached her hand out.

"Jack?" She questioned in worry.

He slowly sat up with his eyes looking around for safety. Seeing him sit up sent joy through her.

"Thank god your all right." She laughed looking back to the road.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked with obvious fear.

Kate didn't answer. She was quickly caught by a figure slowly walking along the street it was so oddly familiar. He was tall and lean wearing a dirty button up black shirt. His hair was an unrecognizable color. Oddly to her own power she slowed down to see who it was.

Then a woman quickly came walking up next to him. A woman with short blonde hair, who was no taller then Kate dressed in a cream-colored pantsuit. They both seemed so oddly familiar. As they passed the car he smiled the widest grin as the woman eyed Kate from behind him. Kate's eyes went wide as her heart sank to her stomach. There was no way.

"Sawyer. Sarah." She whispered.

In the instant she realized whom they were gunshots riddled through the windshield. Turning her attention back she saw a man standing in the middle of the street. He was pointing a gun directly at the car as he stared her down.

Suddenly her surroundings darken and changed from a city street to the middle of the jungle. It seemed more familiar; Kate still didn't know where she was and how she had suddenly gotten there. Looking back to the man in front of her she saw him looked over to her side.

Kate glanced over to see Jack. He was frozen in his place as he stared out the window. He quickly took a deep breath, ducked and covered his head. Kate's attention looked back out into the mysterious jungle.

The man was gone and she was now heading strait for a tree. She did as Jack. Quickly taking her hands off the steering wheel she ducked and covered her head. She was instantly jerked back and forth as the car came to a quick stop.

She didn't even look up. She was too scared. Too scared of all the sudden commotion that she didn't understand. Then she felt hands on around her arms.

"Let go of me!" She screamed trying to pull away.

"Kate! Kate!"

She stopped with that voice and looked up to see Jack standing over her. He was beaten and bloody as he tried to clam her down.

"It's me." He said.

His words didn't help. Once she looked around and came to see she was lying on the floor of the jungle as it poured rain instead of being in a car she wanted to panic. Jack wouldn't let her. Pulling at her arm once again, he got her to stand. When she came to her feet they instantly began to move as they were sent running as gunshots whizzed back them.

Kate looked back as they ran. The man who had been standing in front of her when she was driving the car was quickly coming up on them. She turned back feeling Jack pull on her.

"Jack!"

Kate's attention was caught along with Jack's as his name was called. Looking over to the fanatic voice they came to see Sarah coming up next to them.

"Sarah?" Jack questioned.

"What are you doing here?"

"I have to tell you something!" She yelled.

Kate looked back and forth between the two as they argued. She didn't understand what they were talking about, much like she felt about the whole situation around her.

"Hello there Freckles."

That voice made the hair on the back of Kate's neck stand up as her and Jack slowly turned around. There stood Sawyer. He was badly beaten. Worse then Jack. He was almost recognizable, but they knew it was him.

"Sawyer?" Kate questioned loudly over the rain.

"Stay back." Jack warned pressing his hand gently to Kate's stomach as he walked in front of her to protect her.

The instant she felt his hand she was at a loss of breath. Then it felt like electricity ran through her body and stopped at his hand. Her eyes wondered down to see her stomach bulging out as if she was pregnant. Her hands quickly wrapped around as questions spread over her mind.

Gunshots ran through her ear as they barely missed her. She turned around to see "him" again. The main who had been standing in front of the car. He lowered his gun as he walked closer to her. A smile displayed on his face and it clicked in Kate's head.

It was Ethan.

Then something told her to look back to Jack. For some reason she listened to herself in all the insanity. When she did she was filled with overwhelming dread.

Jack was hunched over on the ground with his head inches from the base of a tree. His face wasn't visible, but she didn't need to see it for her to know it wasn't good.

Kneeling down next to him she grabbed his shoulders. Slowly and gently she pulled him back so he was sitting up against the tree. Seeing his face she quickly let go of him as her hands came to her mouth. He was almost unrecognizable as he had been when she first saw him. His face covered in blood from wounds on his head, lips, and chin. Seeing him she didn't know what to do. All she could do was hope he was alive.

Leaning in to look him over all she pushed herself to believe he was just knocked out. That he was ok. That hope was quickly shredded when she didn't hear or feel his warm breath on her skin. Tears welled up in her eyes trying to think of what to do. The truth was she didn't know. She wasn't the doctor he was.

Lightly touching his face she examined his cuts. They weren't extremely bad, but they weren't good. Suddenly it began to pour as she forgot about the others around her. It didn't matter. Only Jack did.

"Jack." She called running her finger over his lips hoping her touch would give him breath.

There was no breath.

"Please wake up!" She demanded shaking his shoulder lightly.

He didn't wake.

"God dammit Jack you know I don't know CPR!" She screamed again touch his lips with vigor.

Again no breath and no movement. Still she wasn't going to give up hope. He had to be alive. She didn't care anymore about her freedom. He was her priority now.

"Please." She cried leaning her forehead into his lips.

She repeated her plea over and over again as her hands slinked down his face and neck to rest loosely upon his chest. When her fingertips came to the shirts material she pulled back in horror. Raising her hand she saw blood dripping down her fingers. She began to shake, as her eyes became unfocused and darted to Jack's chest.

She stared at a pool of blood his shirt that wasn't doing a good of job of soaking up. Quickly she grabbed hold of his collar and ripped the shirt in two. Seeing her demise she gripped the sides of his torn shirt tightly in her hands. He had been shot right above the heart. Just like Tom.

"No." She whispered.

"No."

"No."

"NO!" She yelled falling into his chest.

The tears she held back came out in an instant. She had killed him like she had killed Tom. She took his life into her sad piteous hands and did what she wanted. She had taken his life from him. Not just then, but from the moment she walked up to him that fateful day in the jungle. She shouldn't have sewed him up. She should have turned and left him there. Left him to survive on his own the way she always did. She shouldn't have let him in.

She couldn't pull away. Actually it was more so that she didn't want to. So when he felt a hand wrap around her arm and try and pull her away she struggled. It was no use though. She still came face to face with Sawyer.

"It's kind of sad, I have to admit Freckles." He growled with a taunting smile as he pulled her close.

It wasn't till she felt his body up against her that she realized she was somehow pregnant. Shaking her head she tried to make since of all it. But she couldn't Sawyer wouldn't let her as he kept his grip and forced her to look him in the eyes.

"But hell now I get what want."

Just then she felt something dig into her side. A smile came across his lips. She heard the muffled bang before she felt the surreal pain. Then he let her go.

Stumbling backwards she looked down to see Jack's body lying in the mud. Sarah at his side weeping over him as she touched his unmoving face. She glanced back and gave Kate and defying look before she turned back to Jack.

Kate's hand quickly came to where the pain began. The minute she touched it she knew what happened. Her walk became slowed to a pace as she looked to her fingers. They were covered in blood. She couldn't even react to the shock of it. She could barely stand or keep her eyes open as she looked to each person in front of her.

Ethan.

Sawyer.

Sarah.

Then Jack. She met his still open eyes staring up at her as she lost her balance. As she fell all feeling left her body before she came to rest across Jack's legs. Looking up to the sky above her all went black.

Kate jolted up from the cot in fear. Her body was over come with sweat and short breath from fear. It was almost hard for her to breathe as her body shook.

Instantly she looked around thinking she'd see Ethan, Sawyer, or Sarah, but instead she saw the caves. Everyone still peacefully sleeping in the shadows of the fire. It didn't seem so. Her eyes quickly came to her side for reassurance. When she saw Jack all the fear and dread lifted.

There he lay like he had been. Sleeping on his side. Taking eased breaths as he dreamed. It was almost an overwhelming sense of joy seeing him lay there. Letting out a deep sigh she rested back on her arm as she brought her hand to her face.

Slowly, yet not sure she tried to calm down. It wasn't easy, seeing images of Jack lying dead on the ground. Every couple of seconds she had to look over and make sure eh was still breathing to assure herself. Still seeing him lying there asleep she couldn't shake the odd grip fear suddenly had on her.

She decided it might be best to walk around and try and get her mind off of the horrid images. Before she shifted her weight off the cot she leaned over and kissed Jack on the cheek. Pulling back it was hard to look away from him. Her eyes were still attached to him as she flung her legs over the side.

With a deep breath she pushed her self away as she stood. She couldn't look back as the images again over took her mind as she began to walk around everyone sleeping around her. All she could dwell on was the confusion the dream set over her. It plaque her with questions as she wondered out of the caves and into the jungle.

She wasn't thinking clearly on where she was going as she walked through the deep darkness that almost encased her. Her mind was fixed on the dream. She began to question what it meant. Then the familiarity came about.

It had started like the dream she had within her coma. The one with Jack taking Tom's place in the car as she sped away from the cops. Except this on ended up being a race in the forest as the two tried to get away from Ethan. Then there was the appearance of Sarah and Sawyer. Last time it had only been Sawyer she saw, but Sarah? She didn't even know if this woman was real and she was having dreams about her. None of it made sense. From her driving into a tree to her instantly becoming pregnant at Jack's touch, it all confused her.

"Kate."

She stopped hearing the faint call of her name. Suddenly she heard the sway of leaves, but with no wind to carry them.

"Kate."

It came closer this time. Her heart began to race as her eyes searched the darkness. It was no use. With no light she couldn't see anything.

"Kate."

This time it was right behind her. She quickly fought herself on whether or not to turn around. In the end her curiosity won. Her body shook as she slowly turned around.

What she came to see almost stopped her heart completely. There in front of her was the dim outline of a man standing with as torch in his hand and his back to her. His hair was long and shrouded his face as he stood. He looked familiar in some way, but Kate couldn't put her finger on it.

She tried hard to convince her self it was real or not real. She really didn't know whether to trust herself anymore. So she went on instinct and reached out from the man. Her heart felt as thought it would leap from her chest. Grasping his shoulder she felt the cloth of his shirt underneath her fingertips. It was the only thing the certified reality before he swung away to face her.

The torch quickly came around and ran across her hand, burning it. She pulled it back to her chest in fright as her breath became short.

"Kate?"

She looked up hearing the man call her name again in a low horse southern accent. Her eyes sent wide seeing his deep blue eyes lit up by the fire. She gasped back her breath as she froze with fear. It couldn't be.

"Sa-awyer." She stuttered near breathless.

He seemed scared as well as he stared at her unmoving. Their gazes were intense and questioned, as they looked each other over. Quickly his eyes shifted from her to behind her as the sound of hurried footprints came up behind her.

In a flash he turned and disappeared into the darkness. Leaving her still staring after him in the darkness fighting for breath. As she opened her lips to take in a breath she felt her throat close up and her body began to shake violently. This was a horrid familiarity in the midst of all the confusion and question. She was having a panic attack.

It quickly became worse for her feeling a hand grasp a hold of her shoulder. She quickly turned around and looked up to see Locke staring back at her with question and his own fear written all over his face.

Without words he looked her over seeing her body fighting for breath.

"Saw-ye"

She stopped as her body lost its balance in his grasp. Her knees buckled sending her towards the ground. Locke quickly grabbed a hold of her and tried to help her back up. It was no use. Her was already on the ground near convulsion as her jagged breathing turned to wheezing.

"Kate." He called trying to get her attention as he kneeled down next to her.

She looked up at her with quivering eyes as her lips trembled. She was so scared in that moment. She didn't know what to do. Her body was quickly shutting down and she couldn't do anything to stop it. All she could do was lay there and wait for him to help her.

Locke began to panic himself. He had seen her go through this many times, but didn't know exactly what to do. All he could do was get her back to Jack.

Sliding his arms under her picked her up. Slowly coming to his feet he adjusted her the best he could. Looking down to her as her head fell back over his arm with her eyes wide with fear upon him, he prayed he could make it back in time.

"Hold on Kate. We're going to Jack." He told her as he began to quickly race through the jungle.


End file.
